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Funny Best Friend Quotes
Funny Quotes about Best Friend

Let these funny Best Friend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)


 

The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous


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A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford

A true friend sees the good in everything,
and brings out the best in the worst of things.
- Sasha Azevedo

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships -
the ones that last -
are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship.
You know, one day you look at the person
and you see something more than you did the night before.
Like a switch has been flicked somewhere.
And the person who was just a friend is...
suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.
- Dana Scully

A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend,
one human soul whom we can trust utterly,
who knows the best and worst of us,
and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
- Charles Kingsley

My best friend and I love to make fish faces.
- Beverley Mitchell

Integrity of life is fame's best friend,
which nobly, beyond death, shall crown in the end.
- John Webster

Sometimes you are being interviewed by someone and you think,
if I knew this person they'd be my best friend.
Other times you're being interviewed by a complete jerk.
- Judith Guest

If I stopped writing and being at my piano,
I wouldn't know how to live.
It's your best friend.
- Jessi Colter

When everything is lonely I can be my best friend.
- Conor Oberst

Cancer has been unfortunately in my life.
My mom's best friend is kicking ass in her battle with breast cancer.
Both of my grandmas had cancer.
I recently lost a friend to cancer.
- Marla Sokoloff

I took solace in my relationship with God who,
along with my dog, was my best friend growing up.
- Lisa Bonet

Our most intimate friend is not he to whom we show the worst,
but the best of our nature.
- Nathaniel Hawthorne

We are all travellers in the wilderness of this world,
and the best we can find in our travels is an honest friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

I plays Joe's best friend.
I am the only one he has ever been able to trust in his life,
so I help him understand what happened to him when he was younger.
- Michelle Trachtenberg

I was too dumb to know Opie was going to grow up to be a great Director,
if so, boy, I would certainly have become his best friend.
- George Lindsey

It was there that, through a mutual friend,
I met John Waters - proving what I've always said:
you meet the best people on field trips.
- Mink Stole

Your best friend and worst enemy are both in this room right now.
It's not your neighbor right or left -
and it's not God or the devil -
it's you.
- Edwin Louis Cole

A boy's best friend is his mother.
- Joseph Stefano

Here at the house, I've been decorating it and getting it organized.
My best friend moved in in October so I've been getting her settled.
She's my personal assistant now.
- Picabo Street

Man's wisdom is his best friend; folly his worst enemy.
- William Temple

The best way to get along is never to forgive an enemy or forget a friend.
- Walter Winchell

The craziest thing I did to get a guy to notice me
was going out with his best friend.
It worked - he did notice me - but I don't recommend it.
- Jennie Garth

A kiss on the hand may be quite continental,
But Diamonds are a girl's best friend.
- Leo Robin

When a man's best friend is his dog,
that dog has a problem.
- Edward Abbey

Johnny Mercer was my father's best friend and became mine as well.
And Harold Arlen, whom I would call Uncle Harry,
and Harry Warren: those were ones who I really became close to.
- Margaret Whiting

Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic's best friend!
- Gerard Way

William Holden and I weren't just good friends.
He was my very best friend.
I feel his loss very much still.
- Glenn Ford

She's always there for me when I need her;
She's my best friend; she's just my everything.
- Ashley Olsen

The cat could very well be man's best friend but would
never stoop to admitting it.
- Doug Larson

The monster was the best friend I ever had.
- Boris Karloff

Yeah, dog was this man's best friend,
for sure.
- Tommy Rettig

I have lost someone I loved as a brother,
as a closest friend, and a remarkable human being.
We have also lost one of the best damn actors we'll ever see.
- Jack Lemon

Everyone is your best friend when you are successful.
Make sure that the people that you surround yourself
with are also the people that you are not afraid of failing with.
- Paula Abdul

Before borrowing money from a friend it's best to decide which you need most.
- Joe Moore

President Kennedy was the greatest man I ever met,
and the best friend I ever had.
- David Powers

Otis was inspired by a boy who sat across the aisle from me in sixth grade.
He was a lively person.
My best friend appears in assorted books in various disguises.
- Beverly Cleary

I believe in God, because he is the only thing that kept me going.
He's my best friend.
- Jessica Hahn

If your best friend has stolen your girlfriend,
it does become life and death.
- Ben Kingsley

We've all known a John Tucker.
We've either known one, dated one or our best friend has dated one.
I think a lot of men at one point or another have been a John Tucker.
- Sophia Bush

My best male friend is my best friend until he crosses me.
We're all protective of the self.
- Neil LaBute

The things I want to know are in books;
my best friend is the man who'll get me a book I ain't read.
- Abraham Lincoln

An incinerator is a writer's best friend.
- Thornton Wilder

Yup, the toilet is my best friend before a show.
- Eric Carr

We can make science personal, like a love story or your best friend.
- Jim Sullivan

Education is the best friend.
An educated person is respected everywhere.
Education beats the beauty and the youth.
- Chanakya

The best time to frame an answer to the letters of a friend,
is the moment you receive them.
Then the warmth of friendship, and the intelligence received,
most forcibly cooperate.
- William Shenstone

Political criticism is our enemies' best friend.
- Bernard Kerik

Yeah, the industry has always been both the enemy and
the best friend of the artist.
They need each other.
That's the bottom line.
- Chrissie Hynde

The waste basket is the writer's best friend.
- Isaac Bashevis Singer

We went with the St.
Lawrence Experience, which is run by Joe Babbitt,
who is a close friend now.
We went out there for 10 days and we had the best week of our lives,
and we've been going back since.
We've been back three times now.
- Tom Felton

In preseason camp, there are no friends.
when newcomers arrive trying to take not only your job,
but maybe your best friend's job, you work together
to try to help each other.
Everyone is an outsider until you're given a uniform.
- Sue Wicks

What was really funny is that as I got older all those
guys who called me a sissy in junior high school wanted
me to be their best friend because they wanted to meet
all the girls that I knew in figure skating.
- Scott Hamilton

Treat your kid like a darling for the first five years.
For the next five years, scold them.
By the time they turn sixteen, treat them like a friend.
Your grown up children are your best friends.
- Chanakya

I've had to deal with everything but everyone has helped me,
including Sir Alex Ferguson, to get through.
George Best was a good friend of mine.
We loved each other, we both knew where we were coming from.
- Paul Gascoigne

When I was a child I had a best friend who lived across the road from me.
When her mother died unexpectedly it was like losing
a member of my own family.
I think I am still affected by the memory of that loss.
- Margaret Mahy

It was amazing that a play that seems dated in this world...
A man whose best friend is a six-foot white rabbit...
But it caught on, especially with young people -
they surprised me most of all.
- James Stewart

But even with a character like Cary who is relatively outlandish,
at the end of the movie he's in a place where I wouldn't
have expected him to be -
taking on the responsibility of a woman who is pregnant
and who used to be his best friend's wife.
- Neil LaBute

The best compliment to a child or a friend is the feeling
you give him that he has been set free to make his own inquiries,
to come to conclusions that are right for him,
whether or not they coincide with your own.
- Alistair Cooke


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