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Albert Einstein Quotes
Funny Quotes by Albert Einstein

Let these funny Albert Einstein Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

The secret to creativity is knowing how to hide your sources.
- Albert Einstein


 

Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein


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I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Technological progress is like an axe
in the hands of a pathological criminal.
- Albert Einstein

The devil has put a penalty on all things we enjoy in life.
Either we suffer in health or we suffer in soul or we get fat.
- Albert Einstein

He who joyfully marches in rank and file
has already earned my contempt.
He has been given a large brain by mistake,
since for him the spinal cord would suffice.
- Albert Einstein

The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

Science without religion is lame,
religion without science is blind.
- Albert Einstein

If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

The faster you go, the shorter you are.
- Albert Einstein

As far as the laws of mathematics
refer to reality, they are not certain,
and as far as they are certain,
they do not refer to reality.
- Albert Einstein

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
- Albert Einstein

The only thing that interferes with my learning is my education.
- Albert Einstein

A question that sometimes drives me hazy:
am I or are the others crazy?
- Albert Einstein

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax.
- Albert Einstein

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein

The attempt to combine wisdom and power
has only rarely been successful and then only for a short while.
- Albert Einstein

The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears,
for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
- Albert Einstein

The difference between stupidity and genius
is that genius has its limits.
- Albert Einstein

If you are out to describe the truth,
leave elegance to the tailor.
- Albert Einstein

Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen.
- Albert Einstein

Confusion of goals and perfection of means seems,
in my opinion, to characterize our age.
- Albert Einstein

As far as I'm concerned, I prefer
silent vice to ostentatious virtue.
- Albert Einstein

Force always attracts men of low morality.
- Albert Einstein

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

The man of science is a poor philosopher.
- Albert Einstein

Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind.
- Albert Einstein

He who can no longer pause to wonder
and stand rapt in awe,
is as good as dead;
his eyes are closed.
- Albert Einstein

Every kind of peaceful cooperation among men
is primarily based on mutual trust
and only secondarily on institutions
such as courts of justice and police.
- Albert Einstein

It is strange to be known so universally
and yet to be so lonely.
- Albert Einstein

Life is like riding a bicycle.
To keep your balance you must keep moving.
- Albert Einstein

Never lose a holy curiosity.
- Albert Einstein

The only real valuable thing is intuition.
- Albert Einstein

Few is the number of those
who think with their own mind
and feel with their own heart.
- Albert Einstein

The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein

Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein

Solitude is painful when one is young,
but delightful when one is more mature.
- Albert Einstein

The intuitive mind is a sacred gift
and the rational mind is a faithful servant.
We have created a society that honors the servant
and has forgotten the gift.
- Albert Einstein

I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein

The road to perdition has ever been
accompanied by lip service to an ideal.
- Albert Einstein

The high destiny of the individual is to serve rather than to rule.
- Albert Einstein

Memory is deceptive because it is colored by today's events.
- Albert Einstein

I never think of the future - it comes soon enough.
- Albert Einstein

Few are those who see with their own eyes
and feel with their own hearts.
- Albert Einstein

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

The process of scientific discovery is,
in effect, a continual flight from wonder.
- Albert Einstein

Few people are capable of expressing with equanimity
opinions which differ from
the prejudices of their social environment.
Most people are even incapable of forming such opinions.
- Albert Einstein

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

I live in that solitude which is painful in youth,
but delicious in the years of maturity.
- Albert Einstein

All religions, arts and sciences are branches of the same tree.
- Albert Einstein

One may say the eternal mystery of the world
is its comprehensibility.
- Albert Einstein

My religion consists of a humble admiration
of the illimitable superior spirit
who reveals himself in the slight details we are able
to perceive with our frail and feeble mind.
- Albert Einstein

Try not to become a man of success,
but rather try to become a man of value.
- Albert Einstein

Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein

Anyone who has never made a mistake,
has never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

Everything that is really great and inspiring
is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
- Albert Einstein

Morality is of the highest importance -
but for us, not for God.
- Albert Einstein

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

The most incomprehensible thing about the world
is that it is comprehensible.
- Albert Einstein

Problems cannot be solved at the same level
of awareness that created them.
- Albert Einstein


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