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Anonymous Quotes
Funny Quotes by Anonymous

Let these funny Anonymous Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
- Anonymous

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous


I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous

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Always remember the three magic words: You're right dear.
- Anonymous

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

Confucius might have said:
Once frightened, twice smelly in armpit.
- Anonymous humor

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

He early on let her know who is the boss.
He looked her right in the eye and clearly said, "You're the boss."
- Anonymous humor

There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous

If at first you don't succeed,
skydiving is not for you.
- Anonymous

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

No man is truly married until he understands
every word his wife is NOT saying.
- Anonymous

I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing.
- Anonymous

When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

A meowing cat can't catch mice.
- Yiddish Proverb

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor

Some days you're the dog,
and some days you're the hydrant.
- Anonymous

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

Forget love... I'd rather fall in chocolate.
- Anonymous

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous

Where there's a will, there's a way.
- old English proverb

I love my attitude problem.
- Anonymous

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.
- Anonymous

God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb

Only dead fish swim with the stream.
- Anonymous

Chanting OM is sort of like MOOing backward.
- Anonymous

Computers happen.
- Anonymous

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

The light at the end of the tunnel
may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous

Talk doesn't cook rice.
- Chinese Proverb

Life is uncertain; always eat dessert first.
- Anonymous

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Those who have free seats at a play hiss first.
- Chinese Proverb

Don't underestimate your abilities,
that's your boss's job.
- Anonymous

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

- Anonymous

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

Join the army. Visit strange and exotic places.
Meet fascinating people. And kill them.
- Anonymous

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

The early bird gets the worm,
but the second mouse gets the cheese.
- Anonymous

You know your god is man-made when he
hates all the same people you do.
- Anonymous

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

Families are like fudge... mostly sweet with a few nuts.
- Anonymous

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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.