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Funny Drinking Quotes
Funny Quotes about Drinking

Let these funny Drinking Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

My rule of life prescribed as an absolutely sacred rite
smoking cigars and also the drinking of alcohol
before, after and if need be during all meals
and in the intervals between them.
- Winston Churchill

By polluting clear water with slime you will never
find good drinking water.
- Aeschylus

I made a commitment to completely cut out drinking
and anything that might hamper me from getting my mind and body together.
And the floodgates of goodness have opened upon me -
spiritually and financially.
- Denzel Washington


 

I have been brought up and trained to have
the utmost contempt for people who get drunk.
- Winston Churchill

I still drink vodka; I'm not an advocate of drinking,
but I'm no angel.
I don't like grass, because it just makes me hungry.
- Calvin Klein

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
the other was eating fireworks.
They charged one and let the other one off.
- Tommy Cooper


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I prepared for the part by drinking,
but I was sober when I was performing.
- Nora Dunn

But the trouble is that when you drink it,
you invariably meet other people drinking it.
- Oliver Reed

Don't drink in the hotel bar, that's where I do my drinking.
- Casey Stengel

I've been drinking and using since I was 13.
- Jack Osbourne

I'm a Method actor.
I spent years training for the drinking and carousing
I had to do in this film.
- George Clooney

My biggest weakness as a endurance athlete has been
in not drinking enough water after training,
thereby racing sometimes while dehydrated.
- Bill Rodgers

I've stopped drinking, but only while I'm asleep.
- George Best

It totally ruins my voice.
I quit smoking, drinking, and doing ecstasy.
- Mark Hoppus

The obvious issue is providing clean drinking water
and sanitation to every single human being on earth
at the cost of little more than one year of the Kyoto treaty.
- Bjorn Lomborg

What did Christ really do? He hung out with hard-drinking fishermen.
- Iggy Pop

I love going to the feed store and drinking coffee
and talking about how much rain we need.
- Thomas Haden Church

Drinking bear is easy.
Trashing your hotel room is easy.
But being a Christian, that's a tough call.
That's rebellion.
- Alice Cooper

If everybody in this town connected with politics had
to leave town because of chasing women and drinking,
you would have no government.
- Barry Goldwater

All the stuff about being a drinking club,
or having players who were not good enough,
I treat as rubbish.
- Bryan Robson

I fought back, got injured again and I had to have another operation.
I got down and depressed and I think I was drinking more than I should.
Well, I know I was.
- Paul Gascoigne

If die I must, let me die drinking in an Inn.
- Walter Map

Nothing would be more tiresome than eating and drinking
if God had not made them a pleasure as well as a necessity.
- Voltaire

Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons,
madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.
- Pierre Beaumarchais

When animators weren't sleeping, they were drinking.
- Joseph Barbera

At the Olympics in China, every color was represented...
and that was just the drinking water.
- Evan Sayet

Tequila.
Straight.
There's a real polite drink.
You keep drinking until you finally take one more and it just won't go down.
Then you know you've reached your limit.
- Lee Marvin

I threw my cup away when I saw a child drinking from his hands at the trough.
- Diogenes

China traditionally has been a tea-drinking country
but we turned them into coffee drinkers.
- Howard Schultz

I'm not going to lie to you fellas, I've been drinking.
- Artie Lange

I have seen great jazz musicians die obscure and drinking
themselves to death and not really being able to get
any work and working in small,
funky jazz clubs.
- Sonny Rollins

Mom was the greatest influence of my childhood.
She wanted to save me from the vice,
lust,
and drinking that was all about me.
- Ethel Waters

A woman should never be seen eating or drinking,
unless it be lobster salad and Champagne,
the only true feminine and becoming viands.
- Lord Byron

I dare not drink before a gig because I'll get tired and blow it.
So I have to sit drinking tea in a caravan.
- John Bonham

Of all vices, drinking is the most incompatible with greatness.
- Walter Scott

If you resolve to give up smoking, drinking and loving,
you don't actually live longer; it just seems longer.
- Clement Freud

I hate the taste of alcohol.
When I'm drinking, I'm drinking Red Bull.
- Paris Hilton

We're drinking my friend, To the end of a brief episode,
Make it one for my baby, And one more for the road.
- Johnny Mercer

There are two reasons for drinking: one is,
when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other,
when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.
- Thomas Love Peacock

My suggestion is that we should first work to ensure
the Third World has clean drinking water and sanitation.
- Bjorn Lomborg

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death,
but then I'm in no hurry.
- Robert Benchley

I'm crazy about westerns.
I need to do a western once in a while.
It's like you know, eating bread, eating pasta,
drinking wine.
It's in my blood.
I need it.
- Franco Nero

If it went on the ballot in Colorado,
I would vote to lower the drinking age.
- Pete Coors

I adore clothes, I adore drinking.
I just don't have the time or the inclination to totally indulge in it.
- Christine Baranski

Thanks be to God.
Since my leaving the drinking of wine,
I do find myself much better, and do mind my business better,
and do spend less money, and less time lost in idle company.
- Samuel Pepys

I tried to give up drugs by drinking.
- Lou Reed

Meeting Franklin Roosevelt was like opening your first bottle of champagne;
knowing him was like drinking it.
- Winston Churchill

The point of drinking in moderation is that sometimes
you don't drink in moderation.
- Artie Lange

That's a big deal for kids, when they come into the
kitchen and the teacher is drinking coffee with mom.
They react differently on the next day when you say:
'Sit down and shut-up!'
- Ed O'Neill

So many groups fail because they spend all their time in the clubs.
Work pours in and they can't handle it because of late-night drinking.
- Maurice Gibb

I used to think drinking was the only way to be happy.
Now I know there is no way to be happy.
- Laura Kightlinger

So I did quit coffee and I did quit smoking.
But I haven't managed that with drinking!
- Sharon Olds

Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
- Carrie Fisher

I'll quit coffee.
It won't be easy drinking my Bailey's straight,
but I'll get used to it.
It'll still be the best part of waking up.
- Megan Mullally

Drinking habits were very prevalent among men,
and were not in any way disgraceful,
unless excessive.
- Catherine Helen Spence

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.
- Terry Goodkind

Paintings are like a beer, only beer tastes good and
it's hard to stop drinking beer.
- Billy Carter

I began drinking alcohol at the age of thirteen and
gave it up in my fifty sixth year;
it was like going straight from puberty to a mid-life crisis.
- George Montgomery

Drinking intensifies all your pressures and your needs.
- Desi Arnaz

But I think that the most important thing was to really stop drinking.
- Rick Allen

Does anybody think these people were just sitting around drinking tea?
- Condoleezza Rice

Those persons who suffer from indigestion,
or who become drunk, are utterly ignorant of the true
principles of eating and drinking.
- Jean Anthelme Brillat-Savarin

That's sort of what I felt...
I miss drinking, I thought bars were truly holy places.
- Joe Eszterhas

I was an anorexic, beer drinking, class cutting,
doodling, shoplifting, skater chick that was into nature,
art class, and the beach.
- Rebecca Miller

Even though I had a lucrative contract with MGM,
I had a husband who was drinking and gambling our money
away faster than I could make it.
- Esther Williams

The world over, give a guy money and it goes to drinking,
gambling, and women.
When you give a woman money, it goes to feeding,
clothing, helping people.
- Peter Buffett

Oh, to me not drinking is like being dead,
almost.
I sit here taking endless journeys down memory lane.
It gets boring.
- Jeffrey Bernard

It's a lot more fun for actors to cry and rant and rave,
or have a drug problem or a drinking problem.
- Jerry Orbach

The piano has been drinking, not me.
- Tom Waits

To me, being grown-up meant smoking cigarettes,
drinking cocktails, and dressing up in high heels and glamourous outfits.
- Lorna Luft


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