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A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Welcome to these Funny Friendship Quotes. These funny quotes about friendship showcase the sometimes funny nature of the relationship with one's friends. Enjoy this look at the lighter side of friendship.
A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
Friendship is Love without his wings.
- Lord Byron
A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous
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He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde
It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
It is a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius
Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- The Godfather, Part II (1974)
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- Annie Hall (1977)
Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
-
George Eliot
Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-
Benjamin Franklin
People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
-
Mark Twain
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
-
Will Rogers
An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
-
Jim Hayes
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.
-
Nicolas De Chamfort
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb.
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
Heaven must be an awfully dull place if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous
When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
-
Mark Twain
A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler
Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
-
Mark Twain
An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.
-
Oscar Wilde
I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
-
Oscar Wilde
Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
-
Oscar Wilde
Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.
- Anonymous
Good friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous
Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
-
C. S. Lewis
Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- Anonymous
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
-
Ethel Barrymore
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
-
Benjamin Franklin
Friendship is Love without his wings.
- Lord Byron
Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
-
Mae West
Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield
Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness.
- Lois Kaufman
Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
- Anonymous
Good friends are like stars… you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous
Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay
Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.
-
Charles Lamb
The best time to make friends is before you need them.
-
Ethel Barrymore
Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
-
Yasser Arafat
Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard
Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
-
C. S. Lewis
Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen
Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.
-
Woodrow Wilson
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
-
Mark Twain
Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
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He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller
A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
-
Leo Buscaglia
A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Anonymous
A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle
A true friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
A true friend is the one who walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell
A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation
Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous
I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
A friend is someone who won't stop until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South
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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.