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Funny Friendship Quotes

Funny Friendship Sayings - Funny Quotes about Friendship

A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Welcome to these Funny Friendship Quotes. These funny quotes about friendship showcase the sometimes funny nature of the relationship with one's friends. Enjoy this look at the lighter side of friendship.


Funny Friendship Quotes

A true friend is one who overlooks your failures and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Friendship is Love without his wings.
- Lord Byron

A lifelong friend is someone you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous


 

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

It is one of the blessings of old friends that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous


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Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- Anonymous

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

I always like to know everything about my new friends, and nothing about my old ones.
- Oscar Wilde

Funny Quotes on Friendship

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

Men kick friendship around like a football, but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend - and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

It is a great confidence in a friend to tell him your faults; greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
- Clifton Fadiman

A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln

Funny Friendship Sayings

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.
- Samuel Butler

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- The Godfather, Part II (1974)

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Funny Quotes about Friends

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Contrary to general belief, I do not believe that friends are necessarily the people you like best, they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell - you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

A relationship, I think, is like a shark. You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies. And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- Annie Hall (1977)

Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.
- Benjamin Franklin

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot

Gossip is the art of saying nothing in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
- Mark Twain

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

Funny Friendship Quotes and Sayings

An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

I have three kinds of friends: those who love me, those who pay no attention to me, and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb.

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Heaven must be an awfully dull place if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.
- Mark Twain

An excellent man; he has no enemies; and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.
- Oscar Wilde

Funny Friend Quotes

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.
- Anonymous

Good friends are like stars... you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Love is blind; friendship closes its eyes.
- Anonymous

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore

Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin

Friendship is Love without his wings.
- Lord Byron

Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day - and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Cute Friendship Quotes

Plant a seed of friendship; reap a bouquet of happiness.
- Lois Kaufman

Love is blind. Friendship tries not to notice.
- Anonymous

Good friends are like stars… you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
- Anonymous

Do not use a hatchet to remove a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

From wine what sudden friendship springs.
- John Gay

Tis the privilege of friendship to talk nonsense, and have her nonsense respected.
- Charles Lamb

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore

Choose your friends carefully. Your enemies will choose you.
- Yasser Arafat

Everyone should have at least two friends - one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Business, you know, may bring money, but friendship hardly ever does.
- Jane Austen

Friendship is the only cement that will ever hold the world together.
- Woodrow Wilson

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Nothing more cheerful than talking about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley


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Inspirational Friendship Quotes

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

A single rose can be my garden... a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

A friend knows the song in my heart and sings it to me when my memory fails.
- Anonymous

A friend to all is a friend to none.
- Aristotle

A true friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous

A true friend is the one who walks in when others walk out.
- Walter Winchell

A friend is someone who knows all about you and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

A friend is someone who understands my past,
believes in my future,
and accepts me just the way I am.
- Anonymous

The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Friendship must dare to risk, or it's not friendship.
- Captain Jean-Luc Picard in the TV show Star Trek: The Next Generation

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.
- Anonymous

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The most I can do for my friend is simply be his friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend is someone who won't stop until he finds you and brings you home.
- Fraser Sr. in the movie Due South


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.