Funny Funny Inspirational Quotes
Funny Funny Inspirational Sayings

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laugh Loud - Laugh Often
Laugh At What's Funny - Laugh At What's Sad
Laugh At Me - Laugh At You - Laugh At Life
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's foggy and it's gray - let's play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris

Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I skip on the beach, and play with the waves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I will dance a little.
I will move with the wind.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous

Everything is okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
- Anonymous

Judgment is discernment on a bad hair day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

An optimist is one who makes the best
of what he gets the worst of.
- Anonymous

When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying

"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann

Everybody is a genius.
But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree,
it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.
- Albert Einstein

You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business
in which no cumulative wisdom is gained:
each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
- Bill Cosby

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin

A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte

It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes

It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies,
but even more to stand up to your friends.
- J.K. Rowling

"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll

Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll

When all else fails, try thinking.
- Anonymous

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

It's not what you don't know that kills you,
it's what you know for sure that ain't true.
- Mark Twain

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson

Sometimes, if you stand on the bottom rail of a bridge
and lean over to watch the river slipping slowly away beneath you,
you will suddenly know everything there is to be known.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar

Blessed is he who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed.
- Alexander Pope

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain

You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln

WHY do you care what THEY think?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life is like a box of chocolates.
- Forrest Gump

Many a man fails as an original thinker
simply because his memory is too good.
- Nietzsche

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

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