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Funny Inspirational Quotes
Funny Inspirational Sayings
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Related topics: Inspirational Life Human-Nature Psychology Favorite-Quotes Cute Whimsey Funny Wisdom Humor
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
An optimist is one who makes the best
of what he gets the worst of.
- Anonymous
When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying
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Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous
I will dance a little.
I will move with the wind.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Everything is okay in the end.
If it's not okay, then it's not the end.
- Anonymous
Judgment is discernment on a bad hair day.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
I skip on the beach, and play with the waves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's foggy and it's gray - let's play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The time to relax is when you don't have time for it.
- Sydney Harris
Magic is natural to Wizards,
and only a little harder for the rest of us.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
"It's not that important,
don't worry about it" is the answer,
now what was the question?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When all else fails, try thinking.
- Anonymous
It's not what you don't know that kills you,
it's what you know for sure that ain't true.
- Mark Twain
The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler
"Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely,
"and go on till you come to the end: then stop."
- Lewis Carroll
Everything's got a moral, if only you can find it.
- Lewis Carroll
Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln
Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau
I am a great believer in luck
and I find that the harder
I work the more I have of it.
- Thomas Jefferson
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
WHY do you care what THEY think?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
If you do what you've always done,
you'll get what you always got.
- Mark Twain
Blessed is he who expects nothing,
for he shall never be disappointed.
- Alexander Pope
Don't let schooling interfere with your education.
- Mark Twain
Between believing a thing and thinking you KNOW
is only a small step and quickly taken.
- Mark Twain
A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.
- Charlotte Bronte
Well, you ask a silly question, and you get a silly answer.
- Tom Lehrer
Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius
Society is always taken by surprise
at any new example of common sense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll
Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
A person is smart. People are dumb,
panicky dangerous animals and you know it.
Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew
the Earth was the center of the universe.
Five hundred years ago,
everybody knew the Earth was flat,
and fifteen minutes ago,
you knew that humans were alone on this planet.
Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
- the movie Men in Black
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie
It's all a game anyway, so just change the rules.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Genuine heroes - no batteries needed -
bring lots of open-mind and at least a little courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Go forth, and play joyfully in the garden of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Be an Original, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat, dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Most truths are so naked
that people feel sorry for them
and cover them up,
at least a little bit.
- Edward R. Murrow
The most interesting information comes from children,
for they tell all they know and then stop.
- Mark Twain
Life is all a game anyway, so just change the rules.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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