Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Wedding Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine
To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the wedding cup,
Whenever you're wrong, admit it;
Whenever you're right, shut up.
- Ogden Nash
A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year.
- Paul Sweeney
A wedding is a funeral where you smell your own flowers.
- Eddie Cantor
The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
- James Thurber
In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring.
- Enid Bagnold
For years my wedding ring has done its job. It has led me not into temptation. It has reminded my husband numerous times at parties that it's time to go home. It has been a source of relief to a dinner companion. It has been a status symbol in the maternity ward.
- Erma Bombeck
Those are the men who will dance at your wedding.
- Guy Madison
When I design a wedding dress with a bustle, it has to be one the bride can dance in. I love the idea that something is practical and still looks great.
- Vera Wang
I sang a song at my sister's wedding. My mother forced me into that, too. But that one felt all right.
- Adam Sandler
I don't know nothing about no marriages or nothing. I ain't even never been to a wedding.
- Mike Epps
I chose my wife, as she did her wedding gown, for qualities that would wear well.
- Oliver Goldsmith
The day of the wedding went like these things generally do, full of anxious moments interspersed with black comedy.
- Janet Street-Porter
I wear my wedding ring. We talk about when we're going to get married again, which we hope is going to take place some time in this incredibly hectic calendar year.
- Jim Lampley
My grandfather Frank Lloyd Wright wore a red sash on his wedding night. That is glamour!
- Anne Baxter
My face looks like a wedding-cake left out in the rain.
- W. H. Auden
Women who marry early are often overly enamored of the kind of man who looks great in wedding pictures and passes the maid of honor his telephone number.
- Anna Quindlen
Monica Seles: I'd hate to be next door to her on her wedding night.
- Peter Ustinov
I'll get pretty much everything the way I want it. I've always dreamed of a beach wedding.
- Nicole Appleton
An invitation to a wedding invokes more trouble than a summons to a police court.
- William Feather
One time when somebody showed up in a wedding dress, but I never knew if it was a joke, or she was serious. She asked me to marry her. She was serious. It was pretty funny.
- Bryan White
Saw a wedding in the church. It was strange to see what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition.
- Samuel Pepys
I was a bridesmaid at a wedding in one picture.
- Dorothy Malone
It was only literally hours after the wedding when he felt he didn't have to keep up the facade.
- Trisha Goddard
The first thing I did when I sold my book was buy a new wedding ring for my wife and asked her to marry me all over again.
- Nicholas Sparks
Wedding: the point at which a man stops toasting a woman and begins roasting her.
- Helen Rowland
A gloomy guest fits not a wedding feast.
- Friedrich Schiller
No wedding bells for me anymore. I've been happily married to my profession for years.
- Shirley Bassey
It happened in Miami, in Coral Gables, a great big ol' Cuban wedding. It was pretty intense.
- Jon Secada
Our dog died from licking our wedding picture.
- Phyllis Diller
A lawyer I once knew told me of a strange case, a suffragette who had never married. After her death, he opened her trunk and discovered 50 wedding gowns.
- Marguerite Young
When he came back from downtown, he had forgotten to bring his license, his identification, the $2 for the wedding license. So we got married two days later.
- Eydie Gorme
The one thing that I'm in charge of in this wedding is the food.
- Rob Mariano
My father always wanted to be the corpse at every funeral, the bride at every wedding and the baby at every christening.
- Alice Roosevelt Longworth
She tells enough white lies to ice a wedding cake.
- Margot Asquith
In the '50s, a lot of girls never saw beyond the wedding day.
- Helen Reddy
I'd imagine my wedding as a fairy tale... huge, beautiful and white.
- Paris Hilton
A woman seldom asks advice before she has bought her wedding clothes.
- Joseph Addison
For her fifth wedding, the bride wore black and carried a scotch and soda.
- Phyllis Battelle
I want the big drama. I always said I don't want a wedding I want a parade.
- Star Jones
We were pretty good mates until the Beatles started to split up and Yoko came into it. It was more like old army buddies splitting up on account of wedding bells.
- Paul McCartney
When widows exclaim loudly against second marriages, I would always lay a wager than the man, If not the wedding day, is absolutely fixed on.
- Henry Fielding
Whoever eats anything at a wedding luncheon? They make the food out of papier mache. My salad had been used four or five times this week.
- Peter Ruric
We are all so close. We are godfather to each others' kids. I was the best man at Jesus' wedding.
- Juan Marichal
A lot of people think I'm that guy in 'Betsy's Wedding', but I'm not. What it is for me is that, on some level, I connect with the character emotionally.
- Anthony LaPaglia
The Wedding March has a bit of a death march in it.
- Brian May
My husband, Jim, converted to Judaism just before our wedding.
- Anita Diament
I just wrapped this movie called The Wedding Crashers which was a pretty big break for me.
- Bradley Cooper
I really did put up all my wedding pictures on my website. And I swear to you, my wedding pictures got downloaded just as much as my bikini pictures.
- Cindy Margolis
Well... Actually I got picked because I was the only one who fit the wedding gown - they had my size.
- Kevin McDonald
I hadn't been in Vegas 20 minutes when I got word that the bookmakers were offering three to one that Frank wouldn't show for my wedding.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
- John Heywood
I saw a photograph of a wedding conducted by Reverend Moon of the Unification Church. I wanted to understand this event, and the only way to understand it was to write about it.
- Don DeLillo
You may invite the entire 35th Division to your wedding if you want to. I guess it's going to be yours as well as mine. We might as well have the church full while we are at it.
- Bess Truman
I'm taking one thing at a time. With the children and launching my solo career it would drive me to a nervous breakdown if I tried to organise a wedding on top of that.
- Natasha Hamilton
When I decided to get married at 40, I couldn't find a dress with the modernity or sophistication I wanted. That's when I saw the opportunity for a wedding gown business.
- Vera Wang
Well the wedding in the words of the Archbishop of Canterbury was a fairy tale and there was a huge public impress, investment of goodwill, affection and indeed money in this Institution. It was a huge success at the time.
- Anthony Holden
Well, I'll tell you something, this wedding is something that I will always, always cherish. It was a show of love and support and kindness like I'd never seen from the people, and that's who I entertain. I entertain the people.
- Liza Minnelli
I wanted to define the vocabulary of a wedding both visually and intellectually. The book is about more than weddings or wedding dresses. It's a metaphor for women's lives, their creativity.
- Vera Wang
I've never crashed a wedding. When I was a kid I, of course, used to crash parties. Crashing a wedding is difficult though because you have to have the suit, and you have to have information in case someone catches you. You have to know at least some names and something.
- Christopher Walken
When the wedding march sounds the resolute approach, the clock no longer ticks, it tolls the hour. The figures in the aisle are no longer individuals, they symbolize the human race.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh
I've chosen my wedding ring large and heavy to continue forever. But exactly because of that all the time that Dave and I have an argument I feel it like handcuffs, and on anger time I throw it in a basket. Poor Dave, he bought me three wedding rings already!
- Carmen Miranda
The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It's a choice you make - not just on your wedding day, but over and over again - and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband or wife.
- Barbara de Angelis
We all went to Kelsey's wedding, and yeah, we go to parties. We also go to each other's house. A group of us got together over at Kelsey's and just read through some plays just for the fun of it. That may not be everyone's idea of a good time, but we had a good time.
- David Hyde Pierce
Thank you for visiting: Funny Wedding Quotes - Funny Quotes about Wedding.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.
Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.