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War Quotes and Sayings
Funny Quotes about War

I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket

Related topics: Funny Cynical Government Political Movie

Men ought either to be indulged or utterly destroyed,
for if you merely offend them, they take vengeance,
but if you injure them greatly, they are unable to retaliate,
so that the injury done to a man
ought to be such that vengeance cannot be feared.
- Niccolo Machiavelli

When you have to kill a man,
it costs nothing to be polite.
- Winston Churchill

Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the War Room.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove (1964)

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin

The power of an air force is terrific
when there is nothing to oppose it.
- Winston Churchill

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The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein

All warfare is based on deception.
- Sun Tzu

The end move in politics is always to pick up a gun.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

A prisoner of war is a man who tries to kill you and fails,
and then asks you not to kill him.
- Winston Churchill

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

War is the ultimate tool of politics.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

War is mainly a catalogue of blunders.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

There is so much that must be done
in a civilized barbarism like war.
- Amelia Earhart

Those who can win a war well can rarely make a good peace
and those who could make a good peace
would never have won the war.
- Winston Churchill

In war, you can only be killed once,
but in politics, many times.
- Winston Churchill

War is a game that is played with a smile.
If you can't smile, grin.
If you can't grin, keep out of the way till you can.
- Winston Churchill

I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein

Wanted Quotes and Sayings

I have often wanted to drown my troubles,
but I can't get my wife to go swimming.
- Anonymous

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

Often Quotes and Sayings

When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry

What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.
- Mark Twain

Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton

Religion often gets in the way of God.
- Bono

People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

Home is our sanctuary, where we:
relax into being ourselves,
play with our inner child,
paint the walls green and pink,
dig in the dirt,
grow something,
love somebody else,
love ourselves even more,
snuggle with a warm blanket on a Sunday afternoon,
hang "go away" on the door whenever we want,
clean and tidy often... or never,
launch from and return to,
are truly ourselves.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Do not laugh much or often or unrestrainedly.
- Epictetus

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Trouble Quotes and Sayings

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is,
he's stuck with so many bad actors
who don't know how to play funny.
- Garrison Keillor

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Every religion is true one way or another.
It is true when understood metaphorically.
But when it gets stuck in its own metaphors,
interpreting them as facts, then you are in trouble.
- Joseph Campbell

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

You Quotes and Sayings

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

If you do not change direction,
you may end up where you are heading.
- Lao Tzu

Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie

The bad news is time flies.
The good news is you're the pilot.
- Michael Althsuler

You have to do your own growing
no matter how tall your grandfather was.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
- Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
- John Morley

When life gives you lemons, Make Lemonade.
- Anonymous saying

You're standing on the threshold of success.
Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- the character Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo

Never look back unless you are planning to go that way.
- Henry David Thoreau

Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein

When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)

Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday.
- Anonymous

Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed
to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
- Will Rogers

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain

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