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Fool Quotes and Sayings
Funny Quotes about Fool
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
Related topics: Wisdom Cynical Cute Whimsey
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec 
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50,
and a fool if he doesn't afterward.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
I am firm; YOU are obstinate; HE is a pig-headed fool.
- Bertrand Russell
It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson
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A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers
If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields
The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Fools Quotes and Sayings
Those who realize their folly are not true fools.
- Zhuangzi
The whole problem with the world is that
fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves,
but wiser people so full of doubts.
- Bertrand Russell
God has cared for these trees,
saved them from drought, disease, avalanches,
and a thousand tempests and floods.
But he cannot save them from fools.
- John Muir
I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons
out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Experience keeps a dear school,
but fools will learn in no other.
- Benjamin Franklin
Fooling Quotes and Sayings
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
Wise Quotes and Sayings
A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe
Religion is regarded by the common people as true,
by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
Laws are sand, customs are rock.
Laws can be evaded and punishment escaped,
but an openly transgressed custom brings sure punishment.
The penalty may be unfair, unrighteous, illogical, and a cruelty;
no matter, it will be inflicted, just the same.
Certainly, then, there can be but one wise thing
for a visiting stranger to do -
find out what the country's customs are,
and refrain from offending against them.
- Mark Twain
Girl Quotes and Sayings
There are two things that are more difficult
than making an after-dinner speech:
climbing a wall which is leaning toward you
and kissing a girl who is leaning away from you.
- Winston Churchill
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous
I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute and it
seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour
and it seems like a minute. That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein
Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl
is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.
- Albert Einstein
Hang tough... big girl panties today.
- Anonymous humor
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
Two Quotes and Sayings
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
There are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman -
before marriage and after marriage.
- Anonymous
Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)
Television has a real problem. They have no page two.
- Art Buchwald
Two things are infinite:
the universe and human stupidity;
and I'm not sure about the universe.
- Albert Einstein
Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Love is a game that two can play and both win.
- Eva Gabor
Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous
I truly believe that happiness is possible...
even when you're thirty-three
and have a bottom the size of two bowling balls.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi
Three can keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
- Benjamin Franklin
I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill
The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I do not believe that civilization will be wiped out
in a war fought with the atomic bomb.
Perhaps two-thirds of the people of the earth will be killed.
- Albert Einstein
Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln
Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein
The will to believe chases out the rational mind,
whenever and wherever the two come into conflict.
- Philip K. Dick
I have a very pessimistic view of life.
You should know this about me if we're gonna go out.
You know, I - I feel that life is -
is divided up into the horrible and the miserable.
Those are the two categories, you know.
The - the horrible would be like, um,
I don't know, terminal cases, you know,
and blind people, crippled. I don't know how they get through life.
It's amazing to me. You know, and the miserable is everyone else.
That's - that's - so - so - when you go through life -
you should be thankful that you're miserable
because you're very lucky to be miserable.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
Things Quotes and Sayings
Things turn out best for the people
who make the best of the way things turn out.
- Art Linkletter
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Oh, Shrek. Don't worry.
Things just seem bad because it's dark and rainy
and Fiona's father hired a sleazy hitman to whack you.
- the movie Shrek 2
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
Still, things could be a lot worse.
Oh, that's right... I'm falling to my death. Guess they can't.
- the movie Megamind (2010)
What this country needs is a credit card for
charging things to experience.
- Tom Wilson
Of all the things that could frighten you,
you worry about my driving?
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer
Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
"The time has come," the walrus said, "to talk of many things:
of shoes and ships - and sealing wax - of cabbages and kings."
- Lewis Carroll
The effort to understand the universe is one
of the very few things that lifts human life
a little above the level of farce,
and gives it some of the grace of tragedy.
- Steven Weinberg
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
True believers just don't see things the way they are,
because if they did, they wouldn't be true believers anymore.
- Philip Caputo
Facts are stubborn things,
but statistics are more pliable.
- Laurence J. Peter
Why, sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
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