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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Best Quotes
Funny Quotes about Best

Let these funny Best Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous

I am easily satisfied with the very best.
- Winston Churchill

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)


 

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx


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Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

The best remedy for a short temper is a long walk.
- Jacqueline Schiff

That's what Tiggers do best!
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Short words are best
and the old words, when short, are best of all.
- Winston Churchill

For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

Honesty may be the best policy,
but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination,
dishonesty is the second-best policy.
- George Carlin

A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing.
The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Testing oneself is best when done alone.
- Jimmy Carter

Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Civilization had too many rules for me,
so I did my best to rewrite them.
- Bill Cosby

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
- E. Joseph Cossman

Common looking people are the best in the world:
that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

The best argument against democracy is
a five-minute conversation with the average voter.
- Winston Churchill

Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller

Simply do your best, and you will avoid
self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
- don Miguel Ruiz

To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You may call God love, you may call God goodness.
But the best name for God is compassion.
- Meister Eckhart

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The best way to predict the future is to create it.
- Peter F. Drucker

The best bridge between despair and hope is a good night's sleep.
- E. Joseph Cossman

There is some good in the worst of us
and some evil in the best of us.
When we discover this,
we are less prone to hate our enemies.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Know the best and highest choices for health
and more often choose those things.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

I believe that a simple and unassuming manner of life
is best for everyone, best both for the body and the mind.
- Albert Einstein

If we like what we do, if we always do our best,
then we are really enjoying life.
We are having fun, we don't get bored,
we don't have frustrations.
- don Miguel Ruiz

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

The best way to gain self-confidence
is to do what you are afraid to do.
- Anonymous

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Be prepared for life -
to live happily and without regret,
knowing that you have done your best.
- the Boy Scout Handbook

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
- Dale Carnegie

Today is a day to cover your best weapons in velvet.
Go gently into the world.
Hold your anger.
Keep your competitive spirit in check.
Some day you will need your fierce weapons,
but not today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

No man who worships education has got the best out of education...
Without a gentle contempt for education no man's education is complete.
- Gilbert K. Chesterton

When you do your best
you learn to accept yourself
- don Miguel Ruiz

If you're doing your best,
you won't have any time to worry about failure.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a candidate.
- Kin Hubbard

Remember, God provides the best camouflage several hours out of every 24.
- David M. Shoup

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour
is not the critical, decisive hour.
Write it on your heart that
every day is the best day in the year.
No man has learned anything rightly,
until he knows that every day is Doomsday.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Employees make the best dates.
You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible.
- Andy Warhol

The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.
- Paul Valery

A good example is the best sermon.
- Benjamin Franklin

Far and away the best prize that life has to offer
is the chance to work hard at work worth doing.
- Theodore Roosevelt

The best way to cheer yourself
is to try to cheer someone else up.
- Mark Twain

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

I do some of my best thinking while pulling weeds.
- Martha Smith

The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on
the rungs of opportunity.
- Ayn Rand

The best time to make friends is before you need them.
- Ethel Barrymore

Everyone has a "best friend" during each stage of life,
but only a precious few have the same one.
- Anonymous

Whatever your work and whatever its worth,
No matter how strong or clever,
Some one will sneer if you pause to hear,
And scoff at your best endeavor.
For the target art has a broad expanse,
And wherever you chance to hit it,
Though close be your aim to the bull's-eye fame,
There are those who will never admit it.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox

What good mothers and fathers instinctively feel like
doing for their babies is usually best after all.
- Benjamin Spock


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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