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The Maugles Quotes
Funny Quotes by The Maugles

Let these funny The Maugles Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson


 

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman


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My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson PHOTO

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer PHOTO

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous PHOTO

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard PHOTO

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

I would want my legacy to be that I was a great son,
father and friend.
- Dante Hall

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

A friend never defends a husband who gets his wife
an electric skillet for her birthday.
- Erma Bombeck

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.
- Benjamin Franklin

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Moreover if your brother shall trespass against you,
go and tell him his fault between you and him alone.
- Matthew 18:15

When it hurts to look back,
and you're scared to look ahead,
you can look beside you
and your best friend will be there.
- Anonymous

I don't need a friend who changes when I change and who nods when I nod;
my shadow does that much better.
- Plutarch

A real friend is one who walks in
when the rest of the world walks out.
- Walter Winchell

The only thing to do is to hug one's friend tight and do one's job.
- Edith Wharton

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman

The best friend is the man who in wishing me well
wishes it for my sake.
- Anonymous

Each friend represents a world in us,
a world possibly not born until they arrive,
and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
- Anais Nin

Never trust anyone who wants what you've got.
Friend or no, envy is an overwhelming emotion.
- Eubie Blake

This communicating of a man's self to his friend
works two contrary effects;
for it redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half.
- Francis Bacon

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

I value the friend who for me finds time on his calendar,
but I cherish the friend who for me
does not consult his calendar.
- Robert Brault

When a friend is in trouble, don't annoy him by asking
if there is anything you can do.
Think up something appropriate and do it.
- Edward W. Howe

So long as we are loved by others,
I would almost say that we are indispensable;
and no man is useless while he has a friend.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane

A heart makes a good home for the friend.
- Yunus Emre

Being a father, being a friend, those are the things
that make me feel successful.
- William Hurt

A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James

Nothing so fortifies a friendship as a belief on the
part of one friend that he is superior to the other.
- Honore de Balzac

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.