Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny The Maugles Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain
The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain
Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck
The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson
My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous
I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck
The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb
I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson 
A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous
A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson
I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono
A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow
Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb
Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde
The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard
The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn
This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous
Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei
The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus
The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung
The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson
The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau
The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau
The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous
Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez
The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley
I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau
If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte
When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
A friend in need is a friend indeed.
- Latin Proverb
A friend is one who knows us, but loves us anyway.
- Jerome Cummings
When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran
Time is my friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin
In everyone's life, at some time,
our inner fire goes out.
It is then burst into flame
by an encounter with another human being.
We should all be thankful for those people
who rekindle the inner spirit.
- Albert Schweitzer
What is a friend? I will tell you ...
it is someone with whom you dare to be yourself.
- Frank Crane
A holiday, the day I first named you, "friend."
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau
You are my friend when you can guard my failure,
challenge my thought and celebrate my success.
- Anonymous
A friend is one who has the same enemies as you have.
- Abraham Lincoln
The only way to have a friend is to be one.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
An insincere and evil friend is more
to be feared than a wild beast;
a wild beast may wound your body,
but an evil friend will wound your mind.
- The Buddha
A friend is one before whom I can think aloud.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
The good man is the friend of all living things.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A friend may well be reckoned the masterpiece of nature.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn
Love is the only force capable of
transforming an enemy into friend.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Throw your dreams into space like a kite,
and you do not know what it will bring back,
a new life, a new friend, a new love, a new country.
- Anais Nin
Your friend is the man who knows all about you,
and still likes you.
- Elbert Hubbard
One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides
A sister is a gift to the heart,
a friend to the spirit,
a golden thread to the meaning of life.
- Isadora James
A true friend is a source of strength and hope.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb
I own that I am not a friend to a very energetic government.
It is always oppressive.
- Thomas Jefferson
The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln
A true friend is one who believes in you
when you have ceased to believe in yourself.
- Anonymous
Thank you for visiting: The Maugles Quotes - Funny Quotes by The Maugles.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.