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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Too Quotes
Funny Quotes about Too

Let these funny Too Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Serious illness doesn't bother me for long
because I am too inhospitable a host.
- Albert Schweitzer

Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)


 

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


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Frankly, I'm too scared to ask about the frog.
- the movie Tangled (2010)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch
too many of them together.
- Josh Billings

Too often we... enjoy the comfort of opinion
without the discomfort of thought.
- John F. Kennedy

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

A conservative is a man who is
too cowardly to fight and too fat to run.
- Elbert Hubbard

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

A man can't be too careful in the choice of enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Too clever is dumb.
- Ogden Nash

The claim "I was only following orders" has been used
to justify too many tragedies in our history.
- Captain Picard of the television series
STAR TREK: The Next Generation

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Civilization had too many rules for me,
so I did my best to rewrite them.
- Bill Cosby

Life is far too important a thing
ever to talk seriously about.
- Oscar Wilde

God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
- Voltaire

I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack
that life is extinct on other planets
because their scientists were more advanced than ours.
- John F. Kennedy

Too often the strong, silent man is silent only because
he does not know what to say, and is reputed strong
only because he has remained silent.
- Winston Churchill

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Friendship is born at that moment
when one person says to another,
"What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
- C. S. Lewis

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

You are never too old to set another goal
or to dream a new dream.
- C. S. Lewis

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are afraid to care too much, for fear
that the other person does not care at all.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

The chains of habit are too weak to be felt
until they are too strong to be broken.
- Samuel Johnson

Genius always finds itself a century too early.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is a mistake to look too far ahead.
Only one link in the chain of destiny
can be handled at a time.
- Winston Churchill

We have nearly complete misunderstanding between
people of different faiths in Lake Wobegon,
and that's probably one reason why we get along so very well.
It's when you are trying to convince another person to think
the same way that you do that there is
friction and trouble between people.
But when you feel that the other person is
dumber than dirt, too dumb for words -
why waste your breath - you get along pretty well.
There's no bond between people that's quite so strong as
when people each feel slightly superior towards the other one.
- Garrison Keillor

I used to believe in forever, but forever's too good to be true.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A man too busy to take care of his health is like
a mechanic too busy to take care of his tools.
- Spanish Proverb

In the long history of humankind (and animal-kind, too)
those who learned to collaborate and
improvise most effectively have prevailed.
- Charles Darwin

The chief danger in life is that you may take too many precautions.
- Alfred Adler

Intense feeling too often obscures the truth.
- Harry S. Truman

This too, shall pass.
- Bible

Life is too short, time is too precious,
and the stakes are too high
to dwell on what might have been.
- Hilary Clinton

No matter what happens, someone will find a way
to take it too seriously.
- Dave Barry

Politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.
- Charles de Gaulle

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans
is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt,
too.
- Oscar Levant

Don't let your ego get too close to your position,
so that if your position gets shot down,
your ego doesn't go with it.
- Colin Powell

I tell people I'm too stupid to know what's impossible.
I have ridiculously large dreams, and half the time they come true.
- Debi Thomas

You may be deceived if you trust too much,
but you will live in torment
if you don't trust enough.
- Frank Crane

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream,
and not, as it too often is, the end.
- Alphonse Karr

Most American children suffer too much mother and too little father.
- Gloria Steinem

Wars and elections are both too big and too small to matter in the long run.
The daily work - that goes on, it adds up.
- Barbara Kingsolver

Too many people are thinking of security
instead of opportunity.
They seem more afraid of life than death.
- James F. Bymes

There is too much fathering going on just now and there
is no doubt about it fathers are depressing.
- Gertrude Stein

Politics, it seems to me, for years,
or all too long,
has been concerned with right or left instead of right or wrong.
- Richard Armour

Bachelors know more about women than married men;
if they didn't they'd be married too.
- H. L. Mencken

You cannot do a kindness too soon,
for you never know how soon it will be too late.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you're asking your kids to exercise,
then you better do it, too.
Practice what you preach.
- Bruce Jenner

In business or in life, don't follow the wagon tracks too closely.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

No matter what has happened, you too have the power to enjoy yourself.
- Allen Klein

Many a man fails as an original thinker
simply because his memory is too good.
- Nietzsche


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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