Facebook share Tweet This Email this
Let these funny Jail Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles
I submit that an individual who breaks the law
that conscience tells him is unjust
and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail
to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
- John F. Kennedy
We cannot expect that all nations will adopt like systems,
for conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.
- John F. Kennedy
Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.
The opposite of courage in our society
is not cowardice, it is conformity.
- Rollo May
If you stand up and be counted,
from time to time you may get yourself knocked down.
But remember this: A man flattened by an opponent can get up again.
A man flattened by conformity stays down for good.
- Thomas J. Watson
Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you.
Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires.
Love imposes no demands.
Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand - "Make me feel whole."
Love expands beyond the limits of two people.
Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.
- Deepak Chopra in The Path to Love
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American
recently passed each other in opposite directions.
- George Carlin
Suspended between earth and sky,
my humanity draws from both,
my tendrils reach for the energies of each.
Spirit and Ground - equal yet opposite,
the lightness and the solidarity,
the ephemeral and the substantial.
The substantial is no more and no less
than the ephemeral - merely different.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The opposite of a correct statement is a false statement.
But the opposite of a profound truth may well be another profound truth.
- Niels Bohr
Any intelligent fool can make things bigger and more complex...
It takes a touch of genius - and a lot of courage
to move in the opposite direction.
- Albert Einstein
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
- Elie Wiesel
A friend or co-worker shares a political,
religious, economic, or social opinion
that is opposite to yours -
does that drive a wedge between your hearts?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man casts a shadow;
not his body only, but his imperfectly mingled spirit.
This is his grief. Let him turn which way he will,
it falls opposite to the sun;
short at noon, long at eve. Did you never see it?
- Henry David Thoreau
There are trivial truths and there are great truths.
The opposite of a trivial truth is plainly false.
The opposite of a great truth is also true.
- Niels Bohr
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference.
The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference.
And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.
- Elie Wiesel
The most dangerous leadership myth is that leaders are born -
that there is a genetic factor to leadership.
This myth asserts that people simply either
have certain charismatic qualities or not.
That's nonsense; in fact, the opposite is true.
Leaders are made rather than born.
- Warren G. Bennis
Self-respect is often mistaken for arrogance
when in reality it is the opposite.
When we can recognize all our good qualities
as well as or faults with neutrality,
we can start to appreciate ourselves
as we would a dear friend
and experience the comfortable inner glow of respect.
To embrace the journey towards our full potential
we need to become our own loving teacher and coach.
Spurring ourselves on to become better human beings,
we develop true regard for ourselves,
and our life will become sacred.
- Osho
Although nature commences with reason and ends in experience
it is necessary for us to do the opposite,
that is to commence with experience
and from this to proceed to investigate the reason.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner
You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle
If the facts don't fit the theory,
change the facts.
- Albert Einstein
What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha
No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective
She's been diagnosed as a paranoid hypochondriac.
Doctors think she may be faking.
- the movie Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid
I personally think we developed language
because of our deep need to complain.
- Lily Tomlin
A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death
The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong
I don't think the intelligence reports are all that hot.
Some days I get more out of the New York Times.
- John F. Kennedy
For those who do not think,
it is best at least to rearrange
their prejudices once in a while.
- Luther Burbank
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
If it turns out that there IS a God,
I don't think that he's evil.
I think that the worst you can say about him
is that basically he's an underachiever.
- the movie Love and Death
Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out
where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately.
- George Carlin
Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin
Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
If you can't annoy somebody with what you write,
I think there's little point in writing.
- Kingsley Amis
What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns
Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner
Really I feel less keen about the Army every day.
I think the Church would suit me better.
- Winston Churchill
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
I don't like to think of laws
as rules you have to follow,
but more as suggestions.
- George Carlin
When all think alike, no one is thinking very much.
- Walter Lippmann
People should think things out fresh
and not just accept conventional terms
and the conventional way of doing things.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
- Albert Einstein
The function of education is to teach one
to think intensively and to think critically.
Intelligence plus character - that is the goal of true education.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Life does not consist mainly,
or even largely, of facts or happenings.
It consist mainly of the storm of thoughts
that is forever flowing through one's head.
- Mark Twain
To know yet to think that one does not know is best;
Not to know yet to think that one knows
will lead to difficulty.
- Lao Tzu
Tolerance is the first principle of community;
it is the spirit which conserves
the best that all men think.
- Helen Keller
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon
It isn't what you have, or who you are, or where you are,
or what you are doing that makes you happy or unhappy.
It is what you think about.
- Dale Carnegie
Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
I used to go away for weeks in a state of confusion.
- Albert Einstein
Think big thoughts but relish small pleasures.
- H. Jackson Brown, Jr.
No written law has ever been more binding
than unwritten custom supported by popular opinion.
- Carrie Chapman Catt
The most pathetic person in the world
is someone who has sight, but has no vision.
- Helen Keller
I don't think of all the misery
but of the beauty that still remains.
- Anne Frank
You know that place between sleeping and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I'll always think of you.
- James M. Barrie
The eyes are not responsible when the mind does the seeing.
- Publilius Syrus
The great enemy of the truth is very often not the lie,
deliberate, contrived and dishonest,
but the myth, persistent, persuasive and unrealistic.
- John F. Kennedy
Thank you for visiting: Funny Jail Quotes - Funny Quotes about Jail.
Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.
You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.
May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.