Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Jail Quotes
Funny Quotes about Jail

Let these funny Jail Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Be thine own palace, or the world's thy jail.
- John Donne

We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS,
because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail.
- Dave Barry

I submit that an individual who breaks the law
that conscience tells him is unjust
and willingly accepts the penalty by staying in jail
to arouse the conscience of the community over its injustice,
is in reality expressing the very highest respect for law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.


 

To put someone in jail for using drugs in the privacy
of his hotel room is just barbaric.
- Danny Sugerman

I know a lot of reporters certainly will go to jail
to defend confidential sources.
Some have even gone to jail for an issue like this.
But I can't say that's the norm.
- Floyd Abrams

Tom DeLay ought to go back to Houston where he can serve his jail sentence.
- Howard Dean


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


My occupation now, I suppose, is jail inmate.
- Theodore Kaczynski

Writers in repressive societies are considered dangerous.
That's why so many of them are in jail.
- Don DeLillo

It sounds kind of strange, but Jail time was almost
a good experience for me.
- Tommy Lee

Let me tell you something.
Nobody goes to jail unless they want to.
Unless they make themselves get caught.
They don't have things organized.
- Nicholas Pileggi

And it should be the law: If you use the word "paradigm"
without knowing what the dictionary says it means,
you go to jail.
No exceptions.
- David Jones

I was kind of excited about going to jail the first
time and I learnt some great dialogue.
- Quentin Tarantino

We had all these things to deal with-
houses full of people and John going to jail,
guys from New York saying 'don't worry about anything.'
So it was really confusing.
- Michael Davis

It would be like the films I've seen where wardens
would decide to be in a jail cell for a week,
to get a sense of what it would be like to be a prisoner.
- Gregory Hines

I don't like jail, they got the wrong kind of bars in there.
- Charles Bukowski

There's no happy ending to cocaine.
You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.
- Sam Kinison

Summon me, then; I will be the posse comitatus;
I will take them to jail.
- Samuel Chase

It's awfully easy to be in love in jail.
- Dashiell Hammett

I was in jail four and a half years.
When I came out, I continued the same struggle against injustice,
but instead of using weapons, I began to use art and cinema.
- Mohsen Makhmalbaf

I dropped the script in the fireplace,
called my agent and said, they can jail me,
sue me, but I'm never acting again, unless I can do something worthwhile.
- Piper Laurie

I'd like to do things to make money to save myself
but right now I can't do nothing.
If they want to put me in jail, they can do that.
It's kind of tough.
- Manute Bol

Through everything I've gone through-
and I've been everywhere,
at the top of the world, in jail, hung over drunk -
I never gave up my dream of winning a gold medal in the Olympics.
- Dan O'Brien

If you want to know who your friends are,
get yourself a jail sentence.
- Charles Bukowski

I don't have to talk about whether or not I got raped in jail.
- Tupac Shakur

It costs $30,000 to $50,000 per year to send someone to jail.
You don't have to pay so much to send someone to school at Johns Hopkins.
- John Money

They would almost throw the cops in jail when they tried to arrest me.
- Lawrence Taylor

You see, you can't put joblessness in a jail cell.
- Carrie P. Meek

On a planet that increasingly resembles one huge Maximum Security prison,
the only intelligent choice is to plan a jail break.
- Robert Anton Wilson

It is crazy to have Judith Miller in jail.
- Matthew Cooper

Jail is much easier on people who have nothing.
- Bernhard Goetz

Books won't stay banned.
They won't burn.
Ideas won't go to jail.
- Alfred Whitney Griswold

What was really horrifying about jail is that it really isn't horrifying.
You adjust very easily.
- Roberta Victor

If a slave is unwilling to go with his new master,
he is whipped, or locked up in jail,
until he consents to go,
and promises not to run away during the year.
- Harriet Ann Jacobs

When I was in jail, I was a lot of people's favorite person.
I practically ran the jail.
I had more freedom than the police.
- Flavor Flav

There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail.
- Will Rogers

Every single person in jail for a violent crime had a nightmare childhood.
- Rob Reiner

With random urinalysis, there's a clear choice -
either get high or go to jail.
- Brian Baird

Rotten travesty.
Yeah.
Send me to jail for contempt.
Try that.
Go ahead.
- Jack Kevorkian

It's such a tragedy that man endures in killing his
brother and his own kind,
putting him in jail and insane asylums,
letting him lay out in the street.
- Sun Ra

I'm gonna perform on one of the nights.
Good clean fun; we're not going to jail.
For the record.
- Luther Campbell

All of North Korea is a jail.
- Kim Y. Sam

I don't want to send them to jail.
I want to send them to school.
- Adlai E. Stevenson

We're rapidly approaching a world comprised entirely of jail and shopping.
- Doug Coupland

I was in chemical jail.
- James Taylor

He thinks he can use the jail for networking to be somebody.
In that way, he's always operating.
- John Leguizamo

The voice I have now, I got the first time I sang in a movement meeting,
after I got out of jail...
and I'd never heard it before in my life.
- Bernice Johnson Reagon

There's a pattern when tours start -
a pattern of infighting,
of making up, of breaking up, of addiction.
There's a pattern of going to jail.
There's a pattern of passion for music.
- Nikki Sixx

If - you know, it seems to me that if we see Matt Cooper
being carted off to jail today,
a lot of people may find that, you know,
a very upsetting thing.
- Michael Isikoff

I went to jail at 16 for stealing tires off Cadillacs.
When I got out I said, Never again.
- Barry White

Clinton has more important things to worry about.
He not only risks being destroyed historically,
like Afghanistan's Buddha statues; he also could end up going to jail.
- Ed Koch

In Vietnam we have no political prisoners.
No one is arrested or jailed for his or her speech or point of view.
They are put in jail because they violated the law.
- Nong Duc Manh

The letters from jail are always disconcerting.
- Eliza Dushku

In jail I was just like everybody else,
I was sitting there praying, feeling caged.
- Dennis Rodman

My skin is more beautiful than yours.
I would be quite more popular in jail if I so chose.
- Gene Simmons

Am I a criminal? The world knows I'm not a criminal.
What are they trying to put me in jail for? You've
lost common sense in this society because of religious fanaticism and dogma.
- Jack Kevorkian

The penalty for laughing in a courtroom is six months in jail;
if it were not for this penalty,
the jury would never hear the evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

I just spent 11 and a half months in a maximum-security jail,
got shot five times, and was wrongly convicted of a crime I didn't commit.
- Tupac Shakur

You can jail a Revolutionary, but you can't jail the Revolution.
- Huey Newton

I'd rather deal with Tipper than Bush.
He's trying to kill everybody in jail.
- Dr. Dre

What I learned in jail is that I can't change.
I can't live a different lifestyle-this is it.
This is the life that they gave and this is the life that I made.
- Tupac Shakur

I'm sorry I didn't go to jail for six months,
then I know you could come to see me anytime you wanted to.
- Eddie Slovik

If it's illegal to rock and roll, throw my ass in jail!
- Kurt Cobain

The beauty, the poetry of the fear in their eyes.
I didn't mind going to jail for, what,
five, six hours? It was absolutely worth it.
- Johnny Depp

So what really works? Treatments in jail do some good,
but it's mostly too late: finding a family and a job
or just growing older make most prisoners eventually give up crime.
- Polly Toynbee

If you seek violence, we will seek to put you in jail.
- Edward Koch

God doesn't go to jail for the pound of weed you got
caught going over the Laredo with -
even though he apparently has the knowledge,
power, and care to prevent it - you go to jail.
God passes go and the courts collect two hundred dollars.
- Stephen Evans

The vice president had a bargaining asset,
however, that no ordinary person has:
He was next in line to the presidency.
I saw no chance that he would resign first,
then take his chances on trial, conviction,
and jail.
- Elliot Richardson

It's not that I don't want to become famous or that
I'm obsessed by my work as an actress,
but it's all about not limiting myself,
such as putting myself in a little jail that I can escape from.
- Sarah Polley

I used to help my granddaddy make sausage.
He would mix it up in a cleaned-out washtub with his hands,
no gloves.
Man, if we did anything like that today,
they would jack the jail up and throw us under it.
- Jimmy Dean

If you can manipulate news, a judge can manipulate the law.
A smart lawyer can keep a killer out of jail,
a smart accountant can keep a thief from paying taxes,
a smart reporter could ruin your reputation-
unfairly.
- Mario Cuomo


Thank you for visiting: Funny Jail Quotes - Funny Quotes about Jail.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.