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H. L. Mencken Quotes and Sayings
Funny Quotes by H. L. Mencken

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

Related topics: Funny Cynical Romantic Love

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.
- H. L. Mencken

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Legend: A lie that has attained the dignity of age.
- H. L. Mencken

It takes a long while for a naturally trustful person
to reconcile himself to the idea that
after all God will not help him
- H. L. Mencken

Faith may be defined briefly as an illogical belief
in the occurrence of the improbable.
- H. L. Mencken

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Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

A good politician is quite as unthinkable as an honest burglar.
- H. L. Mencken

Morality is the theory that every human act
must be either right or wrong,
and that 99 % of them are wrong.
- H. L. Mencken

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Life is a constant oscillation
between the sharp horns of dilemmas.
- H. L. Mencken

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

The urge to save humanity is almost always
a false front for the urge to rule.
- H. L. Mencken

A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers,
looks around for a coffin.
- H. L. Mencken

Nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public.
- H. L. Mencken

Puritanism. The haunting fear that
someone, somewhere, may be happy.
- H. L. Mencken

For every complex problem,
there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong.
- H.L. Mencken

For centuries, theologians have been explaining
the unknowable in terms of the-not-worth-knowing.
- H. L. Mencken

Criticism is prejudice made plausible.
- H. L. Mencken

The believing mind is eternally impervious to evidence.
- H. L. Mencken

The worst government is often the most moral.
One composed of cynics is often very tolerant and humane.
But when fanatics are on top there is no limit to oppression.
- H. L. Mencken

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed
(and hence clamorous to be led to safety)
by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins,
all of them imaginary.
- H. L. Mencken

Love Quotes and Sayings

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous

Love is like an hourglass,
with the heart filling up as the brain empties.
- Jules Renard

Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein

In order to be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot
and not try to understand her at all.
- Helen Rowland

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous

Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

Love does not begin and end the way we seem to think it does.
Love is a battle, love is a war; love is a growing up.
- James A. Baldwin

A relationship, I think, is like a shark.
You know? It has to constantly move forward or it dies.
And I think what we got on our hands is a dead shark.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall (1977)

Love looks through a telescope;
envy, through a microscope.
- Josh Billings

Love is loving what your lover loves.
- Anonymous

When you are courting a nice girl
an hour seems like a second.
When you sit on a red-hot cinder
a second seems like an hour.
That's relativity.
- Albert Einstein

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Love is metaphysical gravity.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

When love is not madness, it is not love.
- Pedro Calderon de la Barca

Save a boyfriend for a rainy day -
and another, in case it doesn't rain.
- Mae West

A wise girl kisses but doesn't love,
listens but doesn't believe,
and leaves before she is left.
- Marilyn Monroe

Love is much like a wild rose, beautiful and calm,
but willing to draw blood in its defense.
- Mark Overby

Do you love me because I am beautiful,
or am I beautiful because you love me?
- Oscar Hammerstein II (Cinderella)

I'd like to kiss ya, but I just washed ma hair.
- the movie The Cabin in the Cotton

True love is like ghosts,
which everyone talks about and few have seen.
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld

A very small degree of hope
is sufficient to cause the birth of love.
- Henri B. Stendhal

True love comes quietly,
without banners or flashing lights.
If you hear bells, get your ears checked.
- Erich Segal

Love is what makes two people
sit in the middle of a park bench
when there is plenty of room at both ends.
- Anonymous

When we find someone whose weirdness
is compatible with ours,
we join up with them and fall into
mutually satisfying weirdness -
and call it love - true love.
- Robert Fulghum.

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times,
always with the same person.
- Germaine Greer

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Love is a game that two can play and both win.
- Eva Gabor

Oh, come on, Shrek, wake up and smell the pheromones!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Absence does not make the heart grow fonder,
but it sure heats up the blood.
- Elizabeth Ashley

Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If love is the answer,
could you please rephrase the question.
- Lily Tomlin

Look your best - who said love is blind?
- Mae West

Getting divorced just because you don't love a man
is almost as silly as getting married just because you do.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

This is my ultimate fantasy:
watching QVC with a credit card
while making love and eating at the same time.
- Yasmine Bleeth

The one who loves the least, controls the relationship.
- Robert Anthony

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