Funny Money Quotes
Funny Quotes about Money

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

He who marries for love without money
has good nights and sorry days.
- Anonymous

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

I love to go to Washington - if only to be near my money.
- Bob Hope

Money won't buy happiness, but it will pay the salaries
of a large research staff to study the problem.
- Bill Vaughan

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

After fifteen minutes I wanted to marry her,
and after half an hour
I completely gave up the idea of stealing her purse.
- the movie Take the Money and Run (1969)

A man is usually more careful of his money
than he is of his principles.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money
they don't have for something they don't need.
- Will Rogers

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

A fool and his money are soon elected.
- Will Rogers

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

Where large sums of money are concerned,
it is advisable to trust nobody.
- Agatha Christie

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

A bank is a place that will lend you money
if you can prove that you don't need it.
- Bob Hope

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

Money often costs too much.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The lack of money is the root of all evil.
- Mark Twain

I'd rather lose my own money than someone else's.
- Dean Kamen

The importance of money flows from it being a link
between the present and the future.
- John Maynard Keynes

It is a waste of money to help those who show no desire to help themselves.
- Taylor Caldwell

Money's a horrid thing to follow, but a charming thing to meet.
- Henry James

We've got to put a lot of money into changing behavior.
- Bill Gates

A fool and his money are lucky enough to get together in the first place.
- Stanley Weiser

It is money, money, money!
Not ideas, not principles, but money that reigns supreme in American politics.
- Robert Byrd

A good reputation is more valuable than money.
- Publilius Syrus

It's easier to force feed people than it is to give 'em what they want.
It makes more money.
- Merle Haggard

A fool and his money are soon parted.
- Thomas Tusser

Many good qualities are not sufficient to balance a single want -
the want of money.
- Johann Georg Zimmermann

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am fiercely loyal to those willing to put their money where my mouth is.
- Paul Harvey

If I have enough money to eat I'm good.
- Shia LaBeouf

Business is other people's money.
- Delphine de Girardin

I've made all my money on my own without my family and I work very hard.
- Paris Hilton

My goal wasn't to make a ton of money.
It was to build good computers.
- Steve Wozniak

I've got all the money I'll ever need,
if I die by four o'clock.
- Henny Youngman

Money differs from an automobile or mistress in being
equally important to those who have it and those who do not.
- John Kenneth Galbraith

What counts is what you do with your money,
not where it came from.
- Merton Miller

Anybody who thinks money will make you happy,
hasn't got money.
- David Geffen

I have no money, no resources, no hopes.
I am the happiest man alive.
- Henry Miller

An important lever for sustained action in tackling
poverty and reducing hunger is money.
- Gro Harlem Brundtland

Money is always there but the pockets change;
it is not in the same pockets after a change,
and that is all there is to say about money.
- Gertrude Stein

If you make a living, if you earn your own money,
you're free - however free one can be on this planet.
- Theodore White

I think everything depends on money.
- Alan Bean

You know, a lot of people are just interested in,
in building a company so they can make money and get out.
- Arthur Rock

Money is the barometer of a society's virtue.
- Ayn Rand

I'd like to live as a poor man with lots of money.
- Pablo Picasso

I am happy to make money.
I want to make more money, make more music,
eat Big Macs and drink Budweisers.
- Kid Rock

Money is only a tool.
It will take you wherever you wish, but it will not
replace you as the driver.
- Ayn Rand

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.
- Aristotle Onassis

I think that focusing on the money, on the business,
is not enough.
- Sergei Bubka

A billion here, a billion there, and pretty soon you're
talking about real money.
- Everett Dirksen

It is not the creation of wealth that is wrong,
but the love of money for its own sake.
- Margaret Thatcher

So you think that money is the root of all evil.
Have you ever asked what is the root of all money?
- Ayn Rand

I don't spend much money on clothes;
I never did.
- Lauren Hutton

All riches have their origin in mind.
Wealth is in ideas - not money.
- Robert Collier

A simple fact that is hard to learn is that the time
to save money is when you have some.
- Joe Moore

In suggesting gifts: Money is appropriate,
and one size fits all.
- William Randolph Hearst

All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
- Spike Milligan

If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars.
- J. Paul Getty

Fame, I have already.
Now I need the money.
- Wilhelm Steinitz

A fool and his money get a lot of publicity.
- Al Bernstein

I don't mind that I'm fat.
You still get the same money.
- Marlon Brando

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