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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Friend Quotes
Funny Quotes about Friend

Let these funny Friend Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.
- Emo Phillips

My wife ran off with my best friend, and I sure do miss him.
- Anonymous


 

A friend will tell you she saw your old boyfriend -
and he's a priest.
- Erma Bombeck

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
- Erma Bombeck

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson


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A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Barf: I'm a mog: half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend!
- the movie Spaceballs (1987)

Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
- Groucho Marx

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

A loyal friend laughs at your jokes
when they're not so good,
and sympathizes with your problems
when they're not so bad.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

The enemy of my enemy is my friend.
- Arabic Proverb and Chinese Proverb

A true friend stabs you in the front.
- Oscar Wilde

Except in cases of necessity, which are rare,
leave your friend to learn
unpleasant things from his enemies;
they are ready enough to tell them.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

I'm a very loyal and unreliable friend.
- Bono

Do not use a hatchet to remove
a fly from your friend's forehead.
- Chinese Proverb

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

A friend is someone who knows all about you,
and loves you just the same.
- Elbert Hubbard

This day I will marry my friend,
the one I laugh with, live for, dream with, love.
- Anonymous

The most called-upon prerequisite of a friend is an accessible ear.
- Maya Angelou

The price of freedom for a nation is lives and money.
Often, the price of freedom for an individual
is challenging the closed minds of family and friend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The walls we build around us to
keep sadness out also keeps out the joy.
- Jim Rohn

Our chief want is someone who will inspire us
to be what we know we could be.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I never found a companion that was
so companionable as solitude.
- Henry David Thoreau

The happiest moments my heart knows are those in which
it is pouring forth its affections to a few esteemed characters.
- Thomas Jefferson

The greatest gift is a portion of thyself.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

The meeting of two personalities is
like the contact of two chemical substances:
if there is any reaction, both are transformed.
- Carl Jung

The language of Friendship is not words, but meanings.
It is an intelligence above language.
- Henry David Thoreau

The greatest compliment that was ever paid me
was when one asked me what I thought,
and attended to my answer.
- Henry David Thoreau

The key is to keep company only with people who uplift you,
whose presence calls forth your best.
- Epictetus

The most beautiful discovery true friends make is that
they can grow separately without growing apart.
- Elisabeth Foley

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

Things are never quite as scary when you've got a best friend.
- Bill Watterson

Health is the greatest possession.
Contentment is the greatest treasure.
Confidence is the greatest friend.
Non-being is the greatest joy.
- Lao Tzu

You can always tell a real friend: when you've made
a fool of yourself he doesn't feel you've done a permanent job.
- Laurence J. Peter

Banks have a new image.
Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker.
If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
- Alan King

The best way to destroy an enemy
is to make him a friend.
- Abraham Lincoln

Go oft to the house of thy friend,
for weeds choke the unused path.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

A friend should be a master at guessing and keeping still.
- Friedrich Nietzsche

If we would build on a sure foundation in friendship,
we must love our friend for their sakes
rather than for our own.
- Charlotte Bronte

A heart makes a good home for the friend.
- Yunus Emre

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

A friend encourages your dreams and offers advice -
but when you don't follow it,
they still respect and love you.
- Doris Wild Helmering

Nothing but heaven itself is better than a friend who is really a friend.
- Plautus

He's my friend that speaks well of me behind my back.
- Thomas Fuller

Be true to your work, your word, and your friend.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life without a friend is like death without a witness.
- Spanish proverb

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;
For that which you love most in him may be
clearer in his absence,
as the mountain to the climber
is clearer from the plain.
- Khalil Gibran

Without wearing any mask we are conscious of,
we have a special face for each friend.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

A single rose can be my garden...
a single friend, my world.
- Leo Buscaglia

Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
- William Shakespeare

My best friend is the one who brings out the best in me.
- Henry Ford

A true friend is a rock upon whom you can depend.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A friend is a present you give yourself.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

I choose you as my friend, and rejoice.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you really want to make a friend,
go to someone's house and eat with him...
the people who give you their food give you their heart.
- Cesar Chavez

When one gets angry, it is always angry AT someone -
perhaps a friend or spouse, perhaps a stranger,
perhaps the nameless "they" - "those people at the bank wronged me,"
perhaps God, or perhaps oneself.
In any case, when one gets angry,
they want to find someone to be "responsible" for what happened.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An injured friend is the bitterest of foes.
- Thomas Jefferson

A friend is one who walks in when others walk out
- Walter Winchell

Lord, grant comfort, joy and health
to those I call friend,
to those I call enemy,
and to those I have cursed by my indifference.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Choose a friend as thou dost a wife,
till death separate you.
- William Penn

Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow.
Don't walk behind me; I may not lead.
Just walk beside me and be my friend.
- Albert Camus

The best mirror is an old friend.
- Proverb

Anybody can sympathize with the sufferings of a friend,
but it requires a very fine nature
to sympathize with a friend's success.
- Oscar Wilde

Work Hard. Do your best. Keep your word.
Never get too big for your britches.
Trust in God. Have no fear;
and Never forget a friend.
- Harry S. Truman


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