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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Women Quotes
Funny Quotes about Women

Let these funny Women Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If I am happy in spite of my deprivations,
if my happiness is so deep that it is a faith,
so thoughtful that it becomes a philosophy of life.
If, in short, I am an optimist,
my testimony to the creed of optimism is worth hearing.
- Helen Keller
...
Helen Keller (1880-1968) overcame being both deaf and blind
to become a famous author, lecturer, and activist
for women's suffrage, workers' rights, and ending war.

Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.
- Marilyn Monroe

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II


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Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
- Albert Einstein

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead

I would rather trust a woman's instinct than a man's reason.
- Stanley Baldwin


 

I do not believe in using women in combat,
because females are too fierce.
- Margaret Mead

I'm always rather nervous about how you talk
about women who are active in politics,
whether they want to be talked about as women or as politicians.
- John F. Kennedy

Once made equal to man, woman becomes his superior.
- Socrates

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

To a philosopher all news,
as it is called, is gossip,
and they who edit and read it
are old women over their tea.
- Henry David Thoreau

I'm selfish, impatient and a little insecure.
I make mistakes, I am out of control
and at times hard to handle.
But if you can't handle me at my worst,
then you sure as hell don't deserve me at my best.
- Marilyn Monroe

I want to live darkly and richly in my femaleness.
- Anais Nin

The real ornament of woman is her character, her purity.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My decision to register women confirms what is already obvious
throughout our society -
that women are now providing
all types of skills in every profession.
The military should be no exception.
- Jimmy Carter

Whenever a man or women is truly inspired,
it is because the same One Universal Spirit
is doing the inspiring.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friendship is not possible between two women
one of whom is very well dressed.
- Laurie Colwin

If sex and creativity are often
seen by dictators as subversive activities,
it's because they lead to the knowledge
that you own your own body
(and with it your own voice), and that's
the most revolutionary insight of all.
- Erica Jong

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Women are like teabags.
We don't know our true strength
until we are in hot water!
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Men and women are not prisoners of fate,
but only prisoners of their own minds.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

I, with a deeper instinct,
choose a man who compels my strength,
who makes enormous demands on me,
who does not doubt my courage or my toughness,
who does not believe me naive or innocent,
who has the courage to treat me like a woman.
- Anais Nin

Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail their failure must be
but a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

We must make it clear that a platform
of "I hate gay men and women'
is not a way to become president of the United States.
- Jimmy Carter

Women must pay for everything.
They do get more glory than men for comparable feats,
but, they also get more notoriety when they crash.
- Amelia Earhart

I have thought a sufficient measure of civilization
is the influence of good women.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love men and women not for their strength
but their softness,
not for their fullness but their hunger,
not for their plenty but their need.
- Anais Nin
(paraphrase)

Achievement seems to be connected with action.
Successful men and women keep moving.
They make mistakes, but they don't quit.
- Conrad Hilton

Men have always detested women's gossip
because they suspect the truth:
their measurements are being taken and compared.
- Erica Jong

Men kick friendship around like a football,
but it doesn't seem to crack.
Women treat it like glass and it goes to pieces.
- Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Many societies have educated their male children
on the simple device of teaching them not to be women.
- Margaret Mead

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

The woman who can create her own job
is the woman who will win fame and fortune.
- Amelia Earhart

Man can never be a woman's equal
in the spirit of selfless service
with which nature has endowed her.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Please know that I am aware of the hazards.
I want to do it because I want to do it.
Women must try to do things as men have tried.
When they fail, their failure must be a challenge to others.
- Amelia Earhart

A woman under stress is not immediately concerned
with finding solutions to her problems
but rather seeks relief
by expressing herself and being understood.
- John Gray

Obviously I faced the possibility of not returning
when first I considered going.
Once faced and settled there really wasn't
any good reason to refer to it.
- Amelia Earhart

All successful people men and women are big dreamers.
They imagine what their future could be,
ideal in every respect,
and then they work every day toward
their distant vision,
that goal or purpose.
- Brian Tracy

There are practical little things in housekeeping
which no man really understands.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows.
Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength,
he nourishes himself from this fusion,
and then he rises and goes into the world,
into his work, into battle, into art.
He is not lonely. He is busy.
The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion.
The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty.
Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure
in which she has bathed,
and a charge of electric joy at contact with another.
When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled,
each act of love a a taking of man within her,
an act of birth and rebirth, of child-bearing and man-bearing.
Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew
with a desire to act, to BE.
But for woman, the climax is not in the birth,
but in the moment the man rests inside of her.
- Anais Nin

Too often the great decisions are originated and given form
in bodies made up wholly of men, or so completely dominated
by them that whatever of special value women
have to offer is shunted aside without expression.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Here in America we are descended in blood
and in spirit from revolutionists and rebels.
Men and women who dare to dissent from accepted doctrine.
As their heirs, may we never confuse
honest dissent with disloyal subversion.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I have no dress except the one I wear every day.
If you are going to be kind enough to give me one,
please let it be practical and dark
so that I can put it on afterwards to go to the laboratory.
- Marie Curie

The basic discovery about any people is the discovery
of the relationship between men and women.
- Pearl S. Buck

All men and women are born, live, suffer and die;
what distinguishes us one from another is our dreams,
whether they be dreams about worldly or unworldly things,
and what we do to make them come about.
We do not choose to be born.
We do not choose our parents.
We do not choose our historical epoch,
the country of our birth,
or the immediate circumstances of our upbringing.
We do not, most of us, choose to die;
nor do we choose the time and conditions of our death.
But within this realm of choicelessness, we do choose how we live.
- Joseph Epstein

I have frequently been questioned, especially by women,
of how I could reconcile family life with a scientific career.
Well, it has not been easy.
- Marie Curie

How wrong is it for women to expect
the man to build the world she wants,
rather than set out to create it herself.
- Anais Nin

All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players:
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.
- William Shakespeare

The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek.
- Joseph Campbell

Know that the greatest fear is fear of the unknown.
Seek to meet the unknown with courage and a sense of adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lord, grant that I might not so much
seek to be loved as to love.
- St. Francis of Assisi

Seek first to understand,
then to be understood.
- Stephen Covey

Peace is not merely a distant goal that we seek,
but a means by which we arrive at that goal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Do not seek the because -
in love there is no because,
no reason, no explanation, no solutions.
- Anais Nin

We live in a wonderful world that is
full of beauty, charm and adventure.
There is no end to the adventures that we can have
if only we seek them with our eyes open.
- Jawaharlal Nehru

Let us seek to invoke the wonders of science ...
explore the stars, conquer the deserts,
eradicate disease, tap the ocean depths,
and encourage the arts and commerce.
- John F. Kennedy

If you seek truth, you will not seek
victory by dishonorable means,
and if you find truth, you will become invincible.
- Epictetus

Don't seek God in temples.
He is close to you.
He is within you.
Only you should surrender to Him
and you will rise above happiness and unhappiness.
- Leo Tolstoy

I constantly seek excellence
in all domains that truly matter to me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We seek to emphasize those practical things that we have in common.
- Australian Prime Minister John Howard

We seek peace, knowing that peace is the climate of freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We seek opinions that are likely to
support what we want to be true.
- Thomas Gilovich

All your anxiety is because of your desire for harmony.
Seek disharmony, then you will gain peace.
- Rumi

If you are walking to seek, ye shall find.
- Sommeil Liberosensa

Do not seek to bring things to pass
in accordance with your wishes,
but wish for them as they are,
and you will find them.
- Epictetus

Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.
- A Course In Miracles (commonly misattributed to Rumi)

The means we use must be as pure
as the ends we seek.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

What we seek we shall find; what we flee from flees from us.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ordinary life does not interest me.
I seek only the high moments.
I am in accord with the surrealists,
searching for the marvelous.
- Anais Nin


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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