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Funny Friends Quotes
Funny Quotes about Friends

Let these funny Friends Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley


 

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous


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A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Fear makes strangers of people
who would otherwise be friends.
- Shirley MacLaine

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The love of family and the admiration of friends is
much more important than wealth and privilege.
- Charles Kuralt

Friends are God's way of apologizing to us for our families.
- Anonymous

It is important to our friends to believe that we are
unreservedly frank with them,
and important to friendship that we are not.
- Mignon McLaughlin

I said to my friends that if I was going to starve,
I might as well starve where the food is good.
- Virgil Thomson

True friends are those who lift you up
when your heart's wings forget how to fly.
- Anonymous

Can miles truly separate you from friends...
If you want to be with someone you love,
aren't you already there?
- Richard Bach

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think,
all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read,
and all the friends I want to see.
- John Burroughs

Animals are such agreeable friends -
they ask no questions; they pass no criticisms.
- George Eliot

Staying married may have long-term benefits.
You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over
a bad marriage than you ever can from a good divorce.
- P. J. O'Rourke

Fate makes us family. choice makes us friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

True friends are appreciative and never demanding.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One's friends are that part of the human race with which one can be human.
- George Santayana

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

Three things are needed for a good life,
good friends, good food, and good song.
- Jason Zebehazy

Friends and good manners will carry you where money won't go.
- Margaret Walker

I live quietly at home among my family and friends.
- Antonio Tabucchi

Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle

Humility must always be the portion of any man
who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers
and the sacrifices of his friends.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We love to be with our family and friends and I can
tell you that lots of eating will be involved.
- Julia Barr

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience:
this is the ideal life.
- Mark Twain

I get along with guys; most of my friends are guys.
It's easier to trust men sometimes.
I only have a few close girlfriends that I trust.
- Paris Hilton

It is better to be in chains with friends,
than to be in a garden with strangers.
- Persian Proverb

Chance makes our parents, but choice makes our friends.
- Jacques Delille

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Books and friends should be few but good.
- Anonymous

I can trust my friends These people force me to examine myself,
encourage me to grow.
- Cher

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us,
as the confidence of their help.
- Epicurus

Friends share our pain and touch our wounds
with a gentle and tender hand.
- Henri Nouwen

When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard

There is nothing nobler or more admirable than when
two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife,
confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.
- Homer

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee

When I eat with my friends, it is a moment of real pleasure,
when I really enjoy my life.
- Monica Bellucci


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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