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Funny Friends Quotes
Funny Quotes about Friends

Let these funny Friends Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

I don't like to commit myself about heaven and hell -
you see, I have friends in both places.
- Mark Twain

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler


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One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley

When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain


 

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

I have lost friends, some by death ...
others by sheer inability to cross the street.
- Virginia Woolf

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

I choose my friends for their good looks,
my acquaintances for their good characters,
and my enemies for their intellects.
A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
- Oscar Wilde

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.
- Oscar Wilde

Tell me about a person's family, friends, and community,
and I'll tell you what his opinions are.
- Mark Twain
(paraphrase)

Money can't buy friends
but it can get you a better class of enemy.
- Spike Milligan

To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White

Most people enjoy the inferiority of their best friends.
- Lord Chesterfield

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

It is the friends you can call up at 4 A.M. that matter.
- Marlene Dietrich

You can make more friends in two months
by becoming interested in other people
than you can in two years by trying
to get other people interested in you.
- Dale Carnegie

Best Friends: we're a parade - even by ourselves!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends.
- Robert E. Lee

Live with intention.
Walk to the edge.
Listen hard.
Practice wellness.
Play with abandon.
Laugh.
Choose with no regret.
Appreciate your friends.
Continue to learn.
Do what you love.
Live as if this is all there is.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies,
but the silence of our friends.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

Fear makes strangers of people
who would otherwise be friends.
- Shirley MacLaine

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

I have three kinds of friends:
those who love me,
those who pay no attention to me,
and those who detest me.
- Nicolas De Chamfort

We'll be friends until forever, just you wait and see.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Marriage, ultimately, is the practice of
becoming passionate friends.
- Harville Hendrix

Can miles truly separate us from friends?
If we want to be with someone we love, aren't we already there?
- Richard Bach

I will reflect the finest qualities my friends offer me
and remind them of all the promise I see in them.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Be careful the friends you choose -
for you will become like them.
- W. Clement Stone

It is not so much our friends' help that helps us,
as the confidence of their help.
- Epicurus

Friendship is a thing most necessary to life,
since without friends no one would choose to live,
though possessed of all other advantages.
- Aristotle

It is only the great-hearted who can be true friends.
The mean and cowardly can never know what true friendship means.
- Charles Kingsley

I get by with a little help from my friends.
- John Lennon

Truly great friends are hard to find,
difficult to leave, and impossible to forget.
- Anonymous

It is one of the blessings of old friends
that you can afford to be stupid with them.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Your friends love you anyway.
- Dave Barry

Friends share our pain and touch our wounds
with a gentle and tender hand.
- Henri Nouwen

Friendship with one's self is all important,
because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

When true friends meet in adverse hour,
'Tis like a sunbeam through a shower.
A watery way an instant seen,
The darkly closing clouds between.
- Sir Walter Scott

I make friends with my fear. I am unstoppable.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sometimes new love comes between old friends.
Sometimes the best love was the one that was always there.
- Anonymous

Could we see when and where we are to meet again,
we would be more tender when we bid our friends goodbye.
- Ouida

Best friends are the ones who can be the farthest away
but there the fastest when you call.
- Anonymous

Friends are the siblings God never gave us.
- Mencius

I have friends in overalls
whose friendship I would not swap
for the favor of the kings of the world.
- Thomas A. Edison

Do not trouble yourself much
to get new things, whether clothes or friends...
Sell your clothes and keep your thoughts.
- Henry David Thoreau

True friends are appreciative and never demanding.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Friends are born, not made.
- Henry Adams

I awoke this morning with devout thanksgiving
for my friends, the old and the new.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When friends stop being frank and useful to each other,
the whole world loses some of its radiance.
- Anatole Broyard

But what a cruel thing is war
to separate and destroy families and friends,
and mar the purest joys and happiness
God has granted us in this world,
to fill our hearts with hatred
instead of love for our neighbors,
and to devastate the fair face of this beautiful world!
- Robert E. Lee

I no doubt deserved my enemies,
but I don't believe I deserved my friends.
- Walt Whitman

Humility must always be the portion of any man
who receives acclaim earned in the blood of his followers
and the sacrifices of his friends.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Choose your friends carefully.
Your enemies will choose you.
- Yasser Arafat

A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The difference between men friends and women friends
is that men tend to do things together,
women tend to just be together.
- Art Jahnke

Fate makes us family. choice makes us friends.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It is better to be in chains with friends,
than to be in a garden with strangers.
- Persian Proverb

"We'll be Friends Forever, won't we, Pooh?" asked Piglet.
"Even longer," Pooh answered.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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