Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain




Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Work Quotes
Funny Quotes about Work

Let these funny Work Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
- Oscar Wilde

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

Any man today who returns from work,
sinks into a chair,
and calls for his pipe is a man with an appetite for danger.
- Bill Cosby


 

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anyone can do any amount of work
provided it isn't the work
he is supposed to be doing at the moment.
- Robert Benchley

Most of what we call management consists of
making it difficult for people to get their work done.
- Peter F. Drucker


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


As a cure for worrying,
work is better than whiskey.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are two kinds of people,
those who do the work,
and those who take the credit.
Try to be in the first group;
there is less competition there.
- Indira Gandhi

If a man smiles all the time,
he's probably selling something that doesn't work.
- George Carlin

Ya gots to work with what you gots to work with.
- Stevie Wonder

It is your work in life that is the ultimate seduction.
- Pablo Picasso

The only thing that overcomes hard luck is hard work.
- Harry Golden

Work is a necessity for man.
Man invented the alarm clock.
- Pablo Picasso

And to get real work experience, you need a job,
and most jobs will require you to have had either real
work experience or a graduate degree.
- Donald Norman

If you don't want to work you have to work to earn
enough money so that you won't have to work.
- Ogden Nash

Every noble work is at first impossible.
- Thomas Carlyle

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Without work, all life goes rotten.
But when work is soulless, life stifles and dies.
- Albert Camus

Plans are only good intentions unless they immediately
degenerate into hard work.
- Peter Drucker

Hard work spotlights the character of people:
some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all.
- Sam Ewing

Teaching was the hardest work I had ever done,
and it remains the hardest work I have done to date.
- Ann Richards

The best preparation for good work tomorrow is to do good work today.
- Elbert Hubbard

Work is not man's punishment.
It is his reward and his strength and his pleasure.
- George Sand

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually
get to be boss and work twelve hours a day.
- Robert Frost

When your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.
- Henry J. Kaiser

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train.
Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going
sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
- J. Paul Getty

Nothing is work unless you'd rather be doing something else.
- George Halas

Nothing will work unless you do.
- Maya Angelou

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Work is accomplished by those employees who have not
yet reached their level of incompetence.
- Laurence J. Peter

A time for work, a time for play -
balance in all things.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nothing ever comes to one, that is worth having,
except as a result of hard work.
- Booker T. Washington

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play.
- Arnold J. Toynbee

To find joy in work is to discover the fountain of youth.
- Pearl S. Buck

When more and more people are thrown out of work,
unemployment results.
- Calvin Coolidge

When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work,
ask him: 'Whose?'
- Don Marquis

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion.
- C. Northcote Parkinson

Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid

We work to become, not to acquire.
- Elbert Hubbard

The more I want to get something done,
the less I call it work.
- Richard Bach

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
- Al Capp

A man's work is nothing but this slow trek to rediscover,
through the detours of art, those two or three great
and simple images in whose presence his heart first opened.
- Albert Camus

As we work to create light for others,
we naturally light our own way.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Work, look for peace and calm in work:
you will find it nowhere else.
- Dmitri Mendeleev

Work alone is noble.
- Thomas Carlyle

After two weeks of working on a project,
you know whether it will work or not.
- Bill Budge

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid.
- Irvin S. Cobb

Capitalism tries for a delicate balance:
It attempts to work things out so that
everyone gets just enough stuff to keep them from
getting violent and trying to take other people's stuff.
- George Carlin

It's a shame that the only thing a man can do for eight hours a day is work.
He can't eat for eight hours; he can't drink for eight hours;
he can't make love for eight hours.
The only thing a man can do for eight hours is work.
- William Faulkner

Managers in all too many American companies do not
achieve the desired results because nobody makes them do it.
- Harold S. Geneen

The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal
government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination.
- Ronald Reagan

Live boldly. Laugh Loudly. Love Truly.
Play as often as you can
Work as smart as you are able.
Share your heart as deeply as you can reach.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
- Proverb

To be a poet is a condition, not a profession.
- Robert Frost

If Botticelli were alive today he'd be working for Vogue.
- Peter Ustinov

It's work only if I say it's work,
but it's play if I say it's fun.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The WORK
1.Is it true?
2.Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3.How do you react when you think that thought?
4.Who would you be without the thought?
- Byron Katie

Most people treat the office manual the way they treat a software manual.
They never look at it.
- James Levine

Whatever your life's work is, do it well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the
moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

I can't imagine anything more worthwhile than doing what I most love.
And they pay me for it.
- Edgar Winter

Work like you don't need the money.
Love like you've never been hurt.
Dance like nobody's watching.
- Satchel Paige

Men for the sake of getting a living forget to live.
- Margaret Fuller

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

O man you are busy working for the world,
and the world is busy trying to turn you out.
- Abu Bakr

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

I'm working myself to death.
- Alan Ladd

There are one hundred men seeking security to one able
man who is willing to risk his fortune.
- J. Paul Getty

Work is love made visible.
And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste,
it is better that you should leave your work and sit
at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy.
- Khalil Gibran

There is a vast world of work out there in this country,
where at least 111 million people are employed in this country alone -
many of whom are bored out of their minds.
All day long.
- Richard Nelson Bolles


Thank you for visiting: Funny Work Quotes - Funny Quotes about Work.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.