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Cynical Quotes
Cynical Sayings
You do not need anyone's permission to be your true self.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
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Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart 
Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain,
and most fools do.
- Benjamin Franklin
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
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Watch what people are cynical about,
and one can often discover what they lack.
- George S. Patton
The more you expect, the more you get disappointed in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein
With manners comes insincerity.
Truth is sometimes difficult.
- Bono
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
Nothing is enough for the man to whom enough is too little.
- Epicurus
Bigotry tries to keep truth safe in its hand
with a grip that kills it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I distrust those people who know so well
what God wants them to do,
because I notice it always coincides
with their own desires.
- Susan B. Anthony
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown
is the belief that one's work is terribly important.
- Bertrand Russell
You have not converted a man because you have silenced him.
- John Morley
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
When all else fails, try thinking.
- Anonymous
Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter
An unsolicited suggestion is
undistinguishable from a criticism.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
- Henry David Thoreau
People understand me so poorly that they don't even understand
my complaint about them not understanding me.
- Soren Kierkegaard
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett
Man plans, God laughs
- Yiddish Proverb
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.
- Jean-Paul Sartre
Nothing is ever going to work out the way you want,
so you may as well choose to want the way life does work out.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
If you want reality to be different than it is,
you might as well try to teach a cat to bark.
- Byron Katie
Never let your sense of morals
get in the way of doing what's right.
- Isaac Asimov
What people believe prevails over the truth.
- Sophocles
Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill
Life is fully as bad as you think it is,
so never think life is bad.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything popular is wrong.
- Oscar Wilde
It is well to remember that the
entire population of the universe,
with one trifling exception, is composed of others.
- Andrew J. Holmes
When trouble arises and things look bad,
there is always one individual who perceives a solution
and is willing to take command.
Very often, that individual is crazy.
- Dave Barry
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
Never ascribe to malice that which is
adequately explained by incompetence.
- Napoleon
Love is an irresistible desire
to be irresistibly desired.
- Robert Frost
When we blindly adopt a religion,
a political system, a literary dogma,
we become automatons. We cease to grow.
- Anais Nin
It is far better to be alone,
than to be in bad company.
- George Washington
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
The presence of those seeking the truth
is infinitely to be preferred
to the presence of those who think they've found it.
- Terry Pratchett
The bulk of the world's knowledge is an imaginary construction.
- Helen Keller
When you ask the wrong question,
you usually get a nonsense answer.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority,
it is time to pause and reflect.
- Mark Twain
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin
Life is a game - a game you can never win.
You already know the final score: Life 1, You 0.
Doesn't mean you can't have fun playing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
I've become the person I've always hated, but I'm happier.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
- Will Rogers
Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove
This town needs an enema.
- the movie Batman
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Golf is a good walk spoiled.
- Mark Twain
I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman
Life - for most people - is their past projected large
onto the movie screen of their future.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
The most important words in the English language
are not "I love you" but "It's benign."
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors
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