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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Buttocks Quotes
Funny Quotes about Buttocks

Let these funny Buttocks Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Beauty for some provides escape, who gain a happiness
in eyeing the gorgeous buttocks of the ape or Autumn
sunsets exquisitely dying.
- Langston Hughes

We're one of the forces that causes actors to fasten
seat belts before they take off chasing the bad guy in the car...
or removes some of the cigarette smoking on television.
- Gerald McRaney

I have learned, as a rule of thumb, never to ask whether you can do something.
Say, instead, that you are doing it.
Then fasten your seat belt.
The most remarkable things follow.
- Julia Cameron


 

My instincts are always against people who want to
fasten some sort of hegemony onto things.
- Clifford Geertz

People need something or someone to fasten themselves
to in order to reassure themselves that they are real.
- Ani DiFranco

Painting is a nail to which I fasten my ideas.
- Georges Braque


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A wisely chosen illustration is almost essential to
fasten the truth upon the ordinary mind,
and no teacher can afford to neglect this part of his preparation.
- Howard Crosby

You had no right to be born; for you make no use of life.
Instead of living for, in, and with yourself,
as a reasonable being ought, you seek only to fasten
your feebleness on some other person's strength.
- Charlotte Bronte

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
- Lana Turner

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

I have a new philosophy.
I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
- Charles M. Schulz

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

I have a love interest in every one of my films:
a gun.
- Arnold Schwarzenegger

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

If truth is beauty, how come no one has their hair done in the library?
- Lily Tomlin

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

I spent a year in that town, one Sunday.
- George Burns

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before.
- Mae West

One picture is worth 1,000 denials.
- Ronald Reagan

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

One man's folly is another man's wife.
- Helen Rowland

The reason there are two senators for each state is
so that one can be the designated driver.
- Jay Leno

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes,
I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

I found there was only one way to look thin:
hang out with fat people.
- Rodney Dangerfield

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

A James Cagney love scene is one where he lets the other guy live.
- Bob Hope

I have six locks on my door all in a row.
When I go out, I lock every other one.
I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks,
they are always locking three.
- Elayne Boosler

If my films make one more person miserable,
I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful,
natural, wholesome things that money can buy.
- Steve Martin

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

A true friend is one who
overlooks your failures
and tolerates your success.
- Doug Larson

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Raising children is an incredibly hard and risky business
in which no cumulative wisdom is gained:
each generation repeats the mistakes the previous one made.
- Bill Cosby

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Let us now set forth one of the fundamental truths about marriage:
the wife is in charge.
- Bill Cosby

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

Perhaps one has to be very old before one learns
to be amused rather than shocked.
- Pearl S. Buck

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

One does not discover new lands without consenting
to lose sight of the shore for a very long time.
- Andre Gide

I find that principles have no real force
except when one is well fed.
- Mark Twain

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

We are all atheists about most of the gods
that societies have ever believed in.
Some of us just go one god further.
- Richard Dawkins


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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