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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Being Quotes
Funny Quotes about Being

Let these funny Being Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

My mother was against me being an actress -
until I introduced her to Frank Sinatra.
- Angie Dickinson


 

Personally, I'm always ready to learn,
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as
you're insightful about it.
- Dennis Miller


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This report, by its very length, defends itself
against the risk of being read.
- Winston Churchill

The only advantage of not being too good a housekeeper
is that your guests are so pleased
to feel how very much better they are.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Guilt for being rich,
and guilt thinking that perhaps love and peace isn't enough
and you have to go and get shot or something.
- John Lennon

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

This being grown up isn't all it's cracked up to be.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Boys will be boys. And even that wouldn't matter
if only we could prevent girls from being girls.
- Anne Frank

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Happiness is often the result of being too busy to be miserable.
- Anonymous

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

I am always ready to learn
although I do not always like being taught.
- Winston Churchill

The feeling of friendship is like that
of being comfortably filled with roast beef;
love, like being enlivened with champagne.
- Samuel Johnson

The length of this document defends it well
against the risk of its being read.
- Winston Churchill

Each of us dwells in a cathedral of our own BEing
that is created vast enough to encompass Unity with all creation.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Discourage litigation.
Persuade your neighbors to compromise whenever you can.
As a peacemaker the lawyer has
superior opportunity of being a good man.
There will still be business enough.
- Abraham Lincoln

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell

May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our society is run by insane people for insane objectives.
I think we're being run by maniacs for maniacal ends
and I think I'm liable to be put away as insane for expressing that.
That's what's insane about it.
- John Lennon

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

When the vast cathedral of our being
becomes a sanctuary for all creation,
we become the face of God.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all live with the objective of being happy;
our lives are all different and yet the same.
- Anne Frank

There is sanctuary in being alone with nature.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated,
let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he
does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right.
- Bill Cosby

Face the facts of being what you are,
for that is what changes what you are.
- Soren Kierkegaard

Honor your being,
Release each and every struggle,
Gather strength from life's storms,
Relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The life of inner peace,
being harmonious and without stress,
is the easiest type of existence.
- Norman Vincent Peale

It is never good dwelling on good-byes ...
it is not the being together that it prolongs, it is the parting.
- Elizabeth Bibesco

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Confidence comes not from always being right
but from not fearing to be wrong.
- Peter T. Mcintyre

The only thing worse than being blind is having sight but no vision.
- Helen Keller

Freedom lies in being bold.
- Robert Frost

Interdependence is and ought to be
as much the ideal of man as self-sufficiency.
Man is a social being.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck.
If you live through it, you start looking
very carefully to the right and to the left.
- Jean Kerr

As human beings, our greatness lies
not so much in being able to remake the world -
as in being able to remake ourselves.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I look only to the good qualities of men.
Not being faultless myself,
I won't presume to probe into the faults of others.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Being angry is as close as a human being
can come to experiencing hell on earth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most terrible poverty is loneliness
and the feeling of being unloved.
- Mother Teresa

Have a Vision, a Dream.
Believe in that Vision.
Live that Vision with every fiber of your being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the advantages of being disorganized is that
one is always having surprising discoveries.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The man form is higher than the angel form;
of all forms it is the highest.
Man is the highest being in creation,
because he aspires to freedom.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

If being good isn't working - try being outrageous.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The simplification of life is one of the steps to inner peace.
A persistent simplification will create an inner and outer well-being
that places harmony in one's life.
- Peace Pilgrim

To a very young child, mommy and daddy are gods.
We spend our lives looking to regain
that sense of being cared for and protected.
Thus religion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I actually enjoy being out of my depth - I thrive on it.
- Bono

Loneliness and the feeling of being unwanted
is the most terrible poverty.
- Mother Teresa

I don't believe people are looking for the meaning of life
as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive.
- Joseph Campbell

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa

Pay attention to rainbows, and snowflakes,
butterflies and the songs of birds,
the crash of storm-driven waves
and the mirror-surface of a quiet pond.
Let the depths of nature become a part of your innermost being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Being angry harms your physical,
emotional, and spiritual well-being.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Lives based on having are less free
than lives based on doing or being.
- E.Y. Harburg

We are addicted to being the way we are
- don Miguel Ruiz

To live a creative life
we must lose our fear of being wrong.
- Joseph Chilton Pearce

The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
- Peter Ustinov

The most important quality in a leader is that of being acknowledged as such.
All leaders whose fitness is questioned are clearly lacking in force.
- Andre Maurois

A human being is not attaining his full heights until he is educated.
- Horace Mann

Today is my day to honor my being,
release each and every struggle,
gather strength from life's storms,
relax into the arms of spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I think you go through a period as a teenager of being
quite cool and unaffected by things.
- Miranda Otto

Urgency is a grim taskmaster.
Escape time, and life becomes irie.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
("Irie" is a Jamaican word for being at total peace
with your current state of being.)

Forgiveness is the remission of sins.
For it is by this that what has been lost,
and was found, is saved from being lost again.
- Saint Augustine

All other things being equal,
the simplest explanation is the most likely.
- a statement of Occam's Razor

This is my wish for you:
Comfort on difficult days,
Smiles when sadness intrudes,
Rainbows to follow the clouds,
Laughter to kiss your lips,
Sunsets to warm your heart,
Hugs when spirits sag,
Beauty for your eyes to see,
Friendships to brighten your being,
Faith so that you can believe,
Confidence for when you doubt,
Courage to know yourself,
Patience to accept the truth,
Love to complete your life.
- Anonymous

Know that your true self,
a spiritual being,
is always perfect.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.