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Harry Potter Quotes
Funny Quotes by Harry Potter

Let these funny Harry Potter Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)

The world's mental.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Now, if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you could lower your wand.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

Don't expect me to get excited over
another damn thing we need to find.
- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010)


 

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

It does not do to dwell on dreams, ...
and forget to live.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone


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In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

The mind has exactly the same power as the hands:
not merely to grasp the world, but to change it.
- Colin Wilson

The 'Net is a waste of time, and that's exactly what's right about it.
- William Gibson

My compassionate intents are generally received clearly
and acted upon - perhaps not immediately,
or in exactly the way I hope -
but acted upon favorably, nonetheless.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We can change our lives.
We can do, have, and be exactly what we wish.
- Tony Robbins

I love America more than any other country in this world,
and, exactly for this reason, I insist on the right
to criticize her perpetually.
- James A. Baldwin

I pray that my greatest desires will always be for
exactly what Spirit is offering me at that very moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have a family to support.
And I'm not always going to be doing exactly what I want to do.
- Patrick Warburton

Man becomes great exactly in the degree
in which he works for the welfare of his fellow-men.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

You are perfect exactly the way you are.
- Werner Erhard

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love everyone, unconditionally,
at all times, exactly as they are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One will never again look at a birch tree,
after the Robert Frost poem, in exactly the same way.
- Paul Muldoon

We get to CHOOSE the meaning for our lives.
Our lives mean exactly what we say they do - no more, no less.
Each of us chooses their path in life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I may be the only mother in America who knows exactly
what their child is up to all the time.
- Barbara Bush

I realize that protest paintings are not exactly in vogue,
but I've done many.
- Robert Indiana

I sit on my duff, smoke cigarettes and watch TV.
I'm not exactly a poster girl for healthy living.
- Lexa Doig

I've always supported myself.
I like the sense of knowing exactly where I stand financially,
but there is a side of me that longs for a knight in shining armor.
- Barbara Feldon

My teenage years were exactly what they were supposed to be.
Everybody has their own path.
It's laid out for you.
It's just up to you to walk it.
- Justin Timberlake

Our opportunity is to love ourselves exactly as we are -
with all our joys and sufferings.
To be grateful for everything.
To forgive ourselves for our doubts of our own worthiness -
for we have no need to be anything other than what we are.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long
as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at
the places I wasn't going to.
I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every
party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom.
- Andy Warhol

Thoughtful people seldom share exactly the same opinion -
the same point-of-view.
The wise ones understand that they know nothing -
for virtually none of our experience is truly factual -
and they graciously honor all other opinions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I feel like I've never had a home, you know? I feel related to the country,
to this country, and yet I don't know exactly where I fit in...
There's always this kind of nostalgia for a place,
a place where you can reckon with yourself.
- Sam Shepard

What if happiness were found in the serenity of simple pleasures.
What if we didn't need the newest gizmo... the highest high?
What if happiness is in the air we breathe...
slowly, deeply, and consciously?
What if happiness is one fresh grape, savored with gratitude?
What if happiness is in our oneness with all creation?
What if happiness is about enjoying life exactly as it comes to us -
without chasing after it?
What if happiness is something we CHOOSE...
regardless of our circumstances?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When people ask me exactly how much time I spend in each country,
I always tell them I have no idea.
- Utada Hikaru

I think things changed as a result of a certain perception of our politics.
When we went through our zealous, self-righteous period
it didn't exactly win us any friends.
- Fred Frith

I knew from an early age exactly what I wanted to do.
I wanted to be a musician and that was it.
It made life a lot easier knowing what I was aiming for.
- Dan Hawkins

Sarah will talk to me about someone and I don't know who she's talking about,
but if she talks to my mother, the two of them will know exactly -
and across several generations,
too.
- Prince Andrew

If you look across the valley, you can see exactly what I mean:
about four beautiful houses,
and you think something is happening in each of them.
It's like a mural.
- Jilly Cooper

Not exactly hit them, but I've restrained a few people.
- Chuck Zito

I do not exactly remember at what period I started
my museum which absorbed so much of my time.
- Pierre Loti

I want to do exactly what I want to do.
I'd rather gamble on the box office than beg for a grant.
- Mikhail Baryshnikov

I treat others exactly the way I want to be treated.
- Dionne Warwick

Among the notable things about fire is that it also
requires oxygen to burn -
exactly like its enemy,
life.
Thereby are life and flames so often compared.
- Otto Weininger

What was funny if you were there is that we were all
immensely sophisticated people who knew exactly what
she was going to say and we're chatting away,
nice to see you.
- Anthony Holden

I know it's not cat food, but what exactly is it that
they put inside of tinned ravioli?
- Doug Coupland

English is clipped in speech.
Texas is exactly the opposite.
- Michael Caine

You know, men and women are a lot alike in certain situations.
Like when they're both on fire - they're exactly alike.
- Dave Attell

The morals of yesterday are no more.
They are as dead as the day they were lived.
Economic independence has put woman on exactly the same footing as man.
- Norma Shearer

Also, I have found that I really like to work in English.
It's very strange because it's exactly the opposite
of what I thought it would be like.
- Olivier Martinez

If you want to be original just try being yourself,
because God has never made two people exactly alike.
- Bernard Meltzer

I really understand where Alice is coming from -
I've been in exactly the same place coming from a small
town and knowing that I need to do other things,
that I have to leave.
- Molly Parker

Bolton's exactly what the U.N.
needs at this point.
The president's right on the mark in picking him.
- Mitch McConnell

I could tell you which writer's rhythms I am imitating.
It's not exactly plagiarism, it's falling in love with
good language and trying to imitate it.
- Charles Kuralt

Given the eclectic and constantly shifting nature of
my metaphysical inclinations,
I will probably never feel certain exactly what an angel is.
- Martha Beck

What does it mean, exactly, for a given system to be
a "neural correlate of consciousness"?
- David Chalmers

When critics are waiting to pounce upon poetic style
on exactly the same grounds as if it were prose,
the poets tremble.
- John C. Ransom

Nobody can be exactly like me.
Even I have trouble doing it.
- Tallulah Bankhead

Never underestimate the capacity of another human being
to have exactly the same shortcomings you have.
- Leigh Steinberg

Not exactly but I get inspiration from stories which are unconventional.
- Anil Kapoor

I don't know the time frame exactly,
but it's clear they're all going to want to start spending money again.
- Andrew Gould

Just like those who are incurably ill,
the aged know everything about their dying except exactly when.
- Philip Roth

If we knew exactly the laws of nature and the situation
of the universe at the initial moment,
we could predict exactly the situation of the same
universe at a succeeding moment.
- Henri Poincare

If we knew exactly what animal life was like before
the fall into sin and knew what nature was like before
the law of entropy invaded it,
we would already be living in heaven.
- Walter Lang

Fortunate indeed, is the man who takes exactly the
right measure of himself,
and holds a just balance between what he can acquire and what he can use.
- Peter Latham

Richard Donner is one of the few directors in Hollywood
that can make whatever movie he wants exactly the way he wants it.
No one will stop him.
- Larry Wachowski

I wouldn't exactly call it 'cooking' but I can make noodles.
That means I can boil water, put the pasta in and wait until it's done.
- Devon Werkheiser

Knowing that we can be loved exactly as we are gives
us all the best opportunity for growing into the healthiest of people.
- Fred Rogers

The best people to listen to are those who have already
been successful accomplishing exactly what you are seeking to accomplish.
- Brian Koslow

People are People still gets played to death on '80s stations.
It was our first big break in America.
It's not exactly my favorite song.
- Martin Gore

The news anchor is exactly that - an anchor,
a center, a focus.
- Jessica Savitch

The only other things, and again these things are hearsay,
is that he could be pretty rough on directors,
because he knew exactly the way he wanted to play the part.
And he did so.
- Tommy Bond


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.