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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Going Quotes
Funny Quotes about Going

Let these funny Going Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

If you don't know where you're going,
any road will take you there.
- Lewis Carroll
(Alice in Wonderland)

I have a new philosophy.
I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
- Charles M. Schulz

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

If you don't know where you are going,
you might wind up someplace else.
- Yogi Berra


 

I have no fear of the gallows ... They're going to shoot me.
- the movie Love and Death

I'm going to go in the bathroom and scream.
I'll be out in a minute.
- the Woody Allen movie What's New Pussycat

Fasten your safety belts, clench your buttocks!
It's going be a bumpy ride!
- the movie Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004)


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We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

There are a terrible lot of lies going about the world,
and the worst of it is that half of them are true.
- Winston Churchill

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

It was impossible to get a conversation going,
everybody was talking too much.
- Yogi Berra

If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous

Well excuse me - we've got something
a little unusual going on here -
time travel, parallel universes,
or just a little common ordinary insanity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you're going to tell people the truth,
be funny or they'll kill you.
- Billy Wilder

Those distractions that turn my attention from
what I thought I was going to do today are not "rat holes";
they are Enchanted Rabbit Holes
with a Magical White Bunny awaiting in each.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Find a time and place of solitude.
Look into the distance, and into the future.
Visualize the tomorrow you are going to build -
and begin to build that tomorrow, today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A politician needs the ability to
foretell what is going to happen
tomorrow, next week, next month, and next year.
And to have the ability afterwards
to explain why it didn't happen.
- Winston Churchill

Footprints in the sands of time...
Where have you been?
Where are you going?
Why are you going there?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Success consists of going from failure to failure
without loss of enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill
(also quoted as: "Courage is going from failure to failure
without losing enthusiasm."

Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

The world is perfect. It's a mess.
It has always been a mess.
We are not going to change it.
Our job is to straighten out our own lives.
- Joseph Campbell

Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Going nowhere faster will not get you somewhere.
- Alan Cohen

The big question is whether you are going to be able
to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
- Joseph Campbell

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear
to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.
- Sylvester Stallone

The simplest questions are the most profound.
Where were you born?
Where is your home?
Where are you going?
What are you doing?
Think about these once in a while
and watch your answers change.
- Richard Bach

You don't get to choose how you're going to die,
only how you're going to live.
- Joan Baez

If you are going through hell, keep going.
- Winston Churchill

A good-bye is never painful unless
you're never going to say hello again.
- Anonymous

When you see someone putting on his Big Boots,
you can be pretty sure that an Adventure is going to happen.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A good hockey player plays where the puck is.
A great hockey player plays where the puck is going to be.
- Wayne Gretzky

A poet's work is to name the unnameable,
to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments,
shape the world, and stop it going to sleep.
- Salman Rushdie

What is a scientist after all? It is a curious man
looking through a keyhole,
the keyhole of nature, trying to know what's going on.
- Jacques Yves Cousteau

I have been dairy free for several years,
and I started because I felt it was going to reduce my allergies,
which it did, and help me lose weight,
which it did.
- Fran Drescher

Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find
a woman I don't like and give her a house.
- Lewis Grizzard

People are going to behave however the social norms permit,
and beyond that.
- Max Cannon

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed
that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
- Rita Rudner

Future generations are not going to ask us
what political party were you in.
They are going to ask what did you do about it,
when you knew the glaciers were melting.
- Martin Sheen

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
- Winston Churchill

And let's be clear: It's not enough just to limit ads
for foods that aren't healthy.
It's also going to be critical to increase marketing
for foods that are healthy.
- Michelle Obama

Do not quit!
Hundreds of times I have watched people throw in the
towel at the one-yard line while someone else comes
along and makes a fortune by just going that extra yard.
- E. Joseph Cossman

I'm French, so I'm quite lazy about exercising,
and I smoke.
But I do love going for a run in the morning with my dog.
That's all.
- Eva Green

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

When the going gets tough, the tough get going.
- Joseph P. Kennedy

A true friend never gets in your way
unless you happen to be going down.
- Arnold H. Glasgow

When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.
- Hunter S. Thompson

Sudden money is going from zero to two hundred dollars a week.
The rest doesn't count.
- Neil Simon

Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford

The world turns aside to let any man pass
who knows where he is going.
- Epictetus

At a certain point I'm going to want to have a family.
- Gwen Stefani

What makes a river so restful to people is that it doesn't have any doubt -
it is sure to get where it is going,
and it doesn't want to go anywhere else.
- Hal Boyle

The only way forward, if we are going to improve the
quality of the environment,
is to get everybody involved.
- Richard Rogers

The Internet is a powerful way to make lots of money...
But we are not going to buy Yahoo!
- Sumner Redstone

Every piece of software written today is likely going
to infringe on someone else's patent.
- Miguel de Icaza

You have teenagers thinking they're going to make millions
as NBA stars when that's not realistic for even 1 percent of them.
Becoming a scientist or engineer is.
- Dean Kamen

I think it's naive to pray for world peace if we're
not going to change the form in which we live.
- Godfrey Reggio

I said to my friends that if I was going to starve,
I might as well starve where the food is good.
- Virgil Thomson

If you are going to throw a club, it is important to throw it ahead of you,
down the fairway, so you don't have to waste energy
going back to pick it up.
- Tommy Bolt

It is a sad commentary of our times when our young
must seek advice and counsel from "Dear Abby" instead of going to Mom and Dad.
- Abigail Van Buren

There is too much fathering going on just now and there
is no doubt about it fathers are depressing.
- Gertrude Stein

The people of the world genuinely want peace.
Some day the leaders of the world are going to
have to give in and give it to them.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It may not always be profitable at first for businesses to be online,
but it is certainly going to be unprofitable not to be online.
- Esther Dyson

Going to work for a large company is like getting on a train.
Are you going sixty miles an hour or is the train going
sixty miles an hour and you're just sitting still?
- J. Paul Getty

There is nothing in a caterpillar that tells you
it's going to be a butterfly.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

One way to keep momentum going is to have constantly greater goals.
- Michael Korda

All this talk about equality.
The only thing people really have in common is that
they are all going to die.
- Bob Dylan

For me, going vegan was an ethical and environmental decision.
I'm doing the right thing by the animals.
- Alexandra Paul

If you go on with this nuclear arms race,
all you are going to do is make the rubble bounce.
- Winston Churchill

Once you say you're going to settle for second,
that's what happens to you in life.
- John F. Kennedy

John Candy knew he was going to die.
He told me on his 40th birthday.
He said, well, Maureen, I'm on borrowed time.
- Maureen O'Hara


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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