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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Want Quotes
Funny Quotes about Want

Let these funny Want Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

I am not afraid of death, I just don't want to be there when it happens.
- Woody Allen

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors


 

You want to do mankind a real service?
Tell funnier jokes.
- the Woody Allen movie Stardust Memories (1980)

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Women want mediocre men,
and men are working to be as mediocre as possible.
- Margaret Mead


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Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

I haven't spoken to my wife in years.
I didn't want to interrupt her.
- Rodney Dangerfield

Whenever I date a guy, I think,
"Is this the man I want my children
to spend their weekends with?"
- Rita Rudner

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner

My boyfriend and I broke up.
He wanted to get married and I didn't want him to.
- Rita Rudner

You want a friend in Washington? Get a dog.
- Harry S. Truman

I feel the need to express something,
but I don't know what it is I want to express.
- the movie Interiors

I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Decide that you want it more than you are afraid of it.
- Bill Cosby

Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

Too many people spend money they haven't earned,
to buy things they don't want,
to impress people they don't like.
- Will Rogers

Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want.
- Dan Stanford

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president,
but they don't want them to become politicians in the process.
- John F. Kennedy

If you want total security, go to prison.
There you're fed, clothed, given medical care and so on.
The only thing lacking... is freedom.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

"But I don't want to go among mad people," said Alice.
"Oh, you can't help that," said the cat. "We're all mad here."
- Lewis Carroll

When I want to be bold about my movement ...
I for sure do not call it exercise!
- Mary Anne Radmacher

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to test your memory, try to recall what
you were worrying about one year ago today.
- E. Joseph Cossman

The jump is so frightening
between where I am,
and where I want to be.
Because of all I may become,
I will close my eyes and leap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

How do you want to be remembered?
Live life full out - Begin today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Women don't want to hear what you think.
Women want to hear what they think -
in a deeper voice.
- Bill Cosby

I want to be the white man's brother, not his brother-in-law.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I want a girl just like good old mom,
who is different in every way.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

If you want to be happy, be.
- Leo Tolstoy

The way I see it, if you want the rainbow,
you gotta put up with the rain.
- Dolly Parton

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Just because an animal is large, it doesn't mean he doesn't want kindness;
however big Tigger seems to be, remember that he wants as much kindness as Roo.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

You know you love someone when you know
you want them to be happy,
even if their happiness means
that you are not a part of it.
- Anonymous

Attention is the ability we have to discriminate
and to focus only on that which we want to perceive.
- don Miguel Ruiz

Naturally, the common people don't want war ...
but after all it is the leaders of a country who determine the policy,
and it is always a simple matter to drag the people along,
whether it is a democracy, or a fascist dictatorship,
or a parliament, or a communist dictatorship.
Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought
to the bidding of the leaders.
That is easy. All you have to do is tell them
they are being attacked,
and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism
and exposing the country to danger.
It works the same in every country.
- Hermann Goering

If we want to direct our lives,
we must take control of our consistent actions.
It's not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives,
but what we do consistently.
- Anthony Robbins

Most of us are prisoners of habit,
and don't even notice that we do the same things,
think the same things, want the same things each day -
mostly without conscious thought.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you want to do it,
Do It - TODAY.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We only see what we want to see,
and hear what we want to hear
- don Miguel Ruiz

Getting old is a fascination thing.
The older you get, the older you want to get.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Whatever you want in life, start today.
Not tomorrow - today.
Let it be a small beginning - a tiny beginning.
Your happiness depends on starting today - every day.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The moment we want to believe something,
we suddenly see all the arguments for it,
and become blind to the arguments against it.
- George Bernard Shaw

Dream up the world you want to live in. Dream out loud.
- Bono

We believe whatever we want to believe.
- Demosthenes

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to.
- Leslie Gore

Those that want friends to open themselves unto
are cannibals of their own hearts.
- Francis Bacon

Determine never to be idle.
No person will have occasion to complain
of the want of time who never loses any.
It is wonderful how much may be done if we are always doing.
- Thomas Jefferson

When someone asks if you'd like cake or pie,
why not say you want cake and pie?
- Lisa Loeb

Can miles truly separate you from friends...
If you want to be with someone you love,
aren't you already there?
- Richard Bach

The politician in my country seeks votes,
affection and respect, in that order.
With few notable exceptions,
they are simply men who want to be loved.
- Edward R. Murrow

For want of a nail the shoe was lost;
for want of a shoe the horse was lost;
and for want of a horse the rider was lost.
- Benjamin Franklin

Web users ultimately want to get at data quickly and easily.
They don't care as much about attractive sites and pretty design.
- Tim Berners-Lee

I want to do it because I want to do it.
- Amelia Earhart

Faith is not the belief that God will do what you want.
It is the belief that God will do what is right.
- Max Lucado

I am happy to make money.
I want to make more money, make more music,
eat Big Macs and drink Budweisers.
- Kid Rock

Success is getting what you want;
happiness is wanting what you get.
- Dale Carnegie

I grew up in a big family with a lot of kids around,
and I definitely want to have children as well.
- Heidi Klum


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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