Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain




Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Great Quotes
Funny Quotes about Great

Let these funny Great Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.
- Jim Carrey

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill


 

Cross country skiing is great if you live in a small country.
- Steven Wright

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


I have tried to know absolutely nothing about a great many things,
and I have succeeded fairly well.
- Robert Benchley

Parrots make great pets.
They have more personality than goldfish.
- Chevy Chase

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch
too many of them together.
- Josh Billings

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

A great building must begin with the unmeasurable,
must go through measurable means when it is being designed
and in the end must be unmeasurable.
- Louis Kahn

To accomplish great things,
we must not only act, but also dream;
not only plan, but also believe.
- Anatole France

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

Being is the great explainer.
- Henry David Thoreau

Great spirits have always encountered
violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein

Unconditional war can no longer lead to unconditional victory.
It can no longer serve to settle disputes...
can no longer be of concern to great powers alone.
- John F. Kennedy

It is an act of great Courage to forsake all Blame.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We know but a few men, a great many coats and breeches.
- Henry David Thoreau

The great leaders have always stage-managed their effects.
- Charles de Gaulle

I welcome change as a great adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The machine does not isolate man from the great problems
of nature but plunges him more deeply into them.
- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Love is the great miracle cure.
Loving ourselves works miracles in our lives.
- Louise L. Hay

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
- Mae West

Great indeed is the sublimity of the Creative,
to which all beings owe their beginning
and which permeates all heaven.
- Lao Tzu

What great thing would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?
- Robert H. Schuller

Everything that is really great and inspiring
is created by the individual who can labor in freedom.
- Albert Einstein

I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.
- Clarence Darrow

People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I see humanity now as one vast plant,
needing for its highest fulfillment only love,
the natural blessings of the great outdoors,
and intelligent crossing and selection.
- Luther Burbank

A great part of courage is the courage
of having done the thing before.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Little strokes,
Fell great oaks.
- Benjamin Franklin

Great art picks up where nature ends.
- Marc Chagall

Great achievement is usually born of great sacrifice,
and is never the result of selfishness.
- Napoleon Hill

To the well-organized mind,
death is but the next great adventure.
- J. K. Rowling

No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus


Thank you for visiting: Funny Great Quotes - Funny Quotes about Great.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.