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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Great Quotes
Funny Quotes about Great

Let these funny Great Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

I am prepared to meet my Maker.
Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal
of meeting me is another matter.
- Winston Churchill


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The time-traveling is just too dangerous.
Better that I devote myself to study
the other great mystery of the universe - women!
- the movie Back to the Future II

Hey, Marge. Isn't it great being married
to someone who's recklessly impulsive?
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

It's not as great a day for the bride as she thinks.
She's not marrying the best man.
- Anonymous


 

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

I always seem to get inspiration and renewed vitality
by contact with this great novel land of yours
which sticks up out of the Atlantic.
- Winston Churchill

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

I love to shop after a bad relationship.
I don't know. I buy a new outfit
and it makes me feel better. It just does.
Sometimes I see a really great outfit,
I'll break up with someone on purpose.
- Rita Rudner

Who in the world am I? Ah, that's the great puzzle.
- Lewis Carroll

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

New York City is a great monument
to the power of money and greed...
a race for rent.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Confused Memories of Childhood:
Hate to my father, cruel hate,
confused with love - a mix not great.
The man I love - the man I hate;
the man I want to emulate.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The magic words for a great relationship are,
"I love you just the way you are."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Where there is great love,
there are always miracles.
- Willa Cather

Silence is a source of great strength.
- Lao Tzu

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Dare to dream of your great success.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I long to accomplish a great and noble task,
but it is my chief duty to accomplish small tasks
as if they were great and noble.
- Helen Keller

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

To be one, to be united is a great thing.
But to respect the right to be different is maybe even greater.
- Bono

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Neither a man nor a crowd nor a nation
can be trusted to act humanely
or to think sanely under the influence of a great fear.
- Bertrand Russell

Having a personal opinion is great.
Believing that one's personal opinion is absolute truth
leads to most of the world's troubles.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In great contests, each party claims to act
in accordance with the will of God.
Both may be, and one must be wrong.
- Abraham Lincoln

You're off to Great Places!
Today is your day!
Your mountain is waiting,
So... get on your way!
- Dr. Seuss

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

It gives me great pleasure indeed to see the stubbornness
of an incorrigible nonconformist warmly acclaimed.
- Albert Einstein

Great minds discuss ideas;
average minds discuss events;
small minds discuss people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Dare to dream of your great success.
Become intimate with those things
which deeply motivate you
and regularly work toward
the realization of that mission.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The great end of life is not knowledge but action.
- Thomas Henry Huxley

No crime is so great as daring to excel.
- Winston Churchill

I have a great deal of company in the house,
especially in the morning when nobody calls.
- Henry David Thoreau

Life in abundance comes only through great love.
- Elbert Hubbard

Mostly, it is human to dislike surprises -
often with great intensity.
Be open to new ways;
sometimes newness just knocks on our door;
welcome it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No great man ever complains of want of opportunity.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

That some achieve great success,
is proof to all that others can achieve it as well.
- Abraham Lincoln

In times of great stress or adversity,
it's always best to keep busy,
to plow your anger and your energy
into something positive.
- Lee Iacocca

People with great gifts are easy to find,
but symmetrical and balanced ones never.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Self-confidence is the first requisite to great undertakings.
- Samuel Johnson

The finest kind of friendship is between people
who expect a great deal of each other but never ask it.
- Anonymous

Nurture your mind with great thoughts,
for you will never go any higher than you think.
- Benjamin Disraeli

No great thing is created suddenly.
- Epictetus

If a warrior is to succeed at anything,
the success must come gently,
with a great deal of effort but with no stress or obsession.
- Carlos Castaneda

A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds,
adored by little statesmen and philosophers and divines.
With consistency a great soul has simply nothing to do. -
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is a great confidence in a friend
to tell him your faults;
greater to tell him his.
- Benjamin Franklin

Half a truth is often a great lie.
- Benjamin Franklin

You will become as small as your controlling desire;
as great as your dominant aspiration.
- James Allen

Because of a great love, one is courageous.
- Lao Tzu

Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Keep courage. Whatever you do,
do not feel sorry for yourself.
You will win in a great age of opportunity.
- Richard L. Evans

In principle, the great religions of the world
do not differ as much as they appear to.
- Ernest Holmes

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions.
Small people always do that,
but the really great make you feel that
you, too, can become great.
- Mark Twain

Until you'll willing to look foolish,
you'll never have the possibility of being great.
- Cher

I welcome change as a great adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Living in fear of anything is a terrible waste
of what could be a great life.
If you live in fear of losing your job,
either you fear the embarrassment of being jobless,
or you fear the loss of material goods -
house, car, and such.
If you live in fear of losing your stuff and money,
it is clear that they own you.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The really great secret - Happiness is free.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Character is higher than intellect.
A great soul will be strong to live as well as think.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who believes is strong; he who doubts is weak.
Strong convictions precede great actions.
- Louisa May Alcott

The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden

After climbing a great hill,
one only finds that there are many more hills to climb.
- Nelson Mandela

Know that the essence of life is not
in the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Great leadership is not the visit of an unexpected fate
but rather a flame which is kept burning
in spite of the winds of risk and opposition.
- Mary Anne Radmacher


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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