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Funny Legs Quotes
Funny Quotes about Legs

Let these funny Legs Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln

We were given:
Two hands to hold.
Two legs to walk.
Two eyes to see.
Two ears to listen.
But why only one heart?
Because the other was given to someone else.
For us to find.
- Anonymous


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If you call a tail a leg, how many legs has a dog?
Five? No, calling a tail a leg don't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel

In the morning a man walks with his whole body;
in the evening, only with his legs.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson


 

Personally, I have fond memories of playing
on slippery rocks on the banks of a rushing river
as a child and hitchhiking in college.
To those who say, "But times are different now,"
I reply that statistically life is much safer now
than in the 1950s, with regard to both crime and accidents.
What has changed is our attitudes.
In those years, a broken leg from falling off a swing
or the back of a tractor was just part of childhood -
an excuse for gathering autographs.
Today that broken leg would be a source
of outrage and probably lawsuits.
I long for a simpler time when life was taken less seriously.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never forget that everything Hitler did in Germany was legal.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

You never really know a man until you have divorced him.
- Zsa Zsa Gabor

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance?
- Edgar Bergen

You might have seen a housefly, maybe even a superfly,
but I bet you ain't never seen a DONKEY fly!
- the movie Shrek (2001)

Never call an accountant a credit to his profession;
a good accountant is a debit to his profession.
- Charles Lyell

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

And you just gotta remember, Sparky -
no matter what they tell you - you can NEVER have too much sugar.
- the movie Michael (1996)

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
- Phyllis Diller

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
- Winston Churchill

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Things have never been more like the way they are today in history.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I always pass on good advice.
It is the only thing to do with it.
It is never of any use to oneself.
- Oscar Wilde

Life is never fair, and perhaps it is a good thing
for most of us that it is not.
- Oscar Wilde

I would never want to be a member of a group
whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.
- George Carlin

The way for a young man to rise is
to improve himself in every way he can,
never suspecting that anybody wishes to hinder him.
- Abraham Lincoln

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends.
- H. L. Mencken

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

My father always told me that
all businessmen were sons of bitches,
but I never believed it till now.
- John F. Kennedy

The savage in man is never quite eradicated.
- Henry David Thoreau

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

Blessed are they who can laugh at themselves
for they shall never cease to be amused.
- Anonymous

Never try to teach a pig to sing.
It wastes your time, and it annoys the pig.
- Mark Twain

People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry

It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda

Never put off till tomorrow
what you can do the day after tomorrow.
- Mark Twain

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

Never stir up litigation.
A worse man can scarcely be found than one who does this.
- Abraham Lincoln

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never let the fear of striking out get in your way.
- Babe Ruth

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

Until you've lost your reputation,
you never realize what a burden it was.
- Margaret Mitchell

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple.
- Oscar Wilde

Which form of proverb do you prefer
Better late than never, or Better never than late?
- Lewis Carroll

Never trust spiritual leader who doesn't dance.
- Miyagi: character in the movie The Next Karate Kid

Man's nature is not essentially evil.
Brute nature has been known to
yield to the influence of love.
You must never despair of human nature.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

TEAMWORK...means never having to take all the blame yourself.
- Anonymous

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

You never can tell with bees.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

Eating words has never given me indigestion.
- Winston Churchill

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Anyone who knows history, particularly
the history of Europe, will, I think,
recognize that the domination
of education or of government
by any one particular religious faith
is never a happy arrangement for the people.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Hate is never conquered by hate,
Hate is only conquered by love.
- The Buddha

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Mind Chatter...
"I'm too fat; I'm too thin; and my hair is a fright;
And I'm never enough; and my world is not right;
I'm not smart; I'm not cute; I'm not strong; I'm a bust
I earn scorn; I earn hate; I'm no good; I disgust."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Ignorance more frequently begets confidence than does knowledge:
it is those who know little, and not those who know much,
who so positively assert that this or that problem
will never be solved by science.
- Charles Darwin

Never interrupt someone doing what you said couldn't be done.
- Amelia Earhart


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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