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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Four Quotes
Funny Quotes about Four

Let these funny Four Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup


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There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer


 

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

There are only four questions of value in life...
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for,
and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same: only love.
- Johnny Depp as Don Juan in the movie Don Juan De Marco

The Four Stages of Public Opinion
I (Just after publication): The novelty is absurd
and subversive of Religion and Morality.
The propounder both fool and knave.
II (Twenty years later): The Novelty is absolute Truth
and will yield a full and satisfactory
explanation of things in general -
The propounder a man of sublime genius and perfect virtue.
III (Forty years later): The Novelty won't explain
things in general after all, and therefore is a wretched failure.
The propounder a very ordinary person advertised by a clique.
IV (A century later): The Novelty a mixture of truth and error.
Explains as much as could reasonably be expected.
The propounder worthy of all honor
in spite of his share of human frailties,
as one who has added to the permanent possessions of science.
- Thomas Henry [T. H.] Huxley

The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Be careful not to do your good deeds
when there's no one watching you.
- Tom Lehrer

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary

You know, it takes two to get one in trouble.
- the movie She Done Him Wrong (1933)

One good Husband is worth two good Wives;
for the scarcer things are, the more they're valued.
- Benjamin Franklin

You're already a bastard.
Might as well be an enlightened one.
- the movie Simon Birch

No one knows what's next, but everybody does it.
- George Carlin

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

One great thing about getting old is that
you can get out of all sorts of social obligations
just by saying you're too tired.
- George Carlin

Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

A friend is someone who will bail you out of jail.
A best friend is the one sitting next
to you saying "boy was that fun."
- The Maugles

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.
- H. L. Mencken

No one can have a higher opinion of you than I have,
and I think you're a slimy, contemptible sewer rat!
- the movie The Great Mouse Detective

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

There's a couple of things they don't teach you
in Harvard Business School,
one is how to cope with defeat,
the other is how to handle a shotgun.
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.
- Robert A. Heinlein

Question with boldness even the existence of a God;
because, if there be one, he must more approve of the homage of reason,
than that of blind-folded fear.
- Thomas Jefferson

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Principles have no real force except when one is well-fed.
- Mark Twain

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

In order to be an immaculate member of a flock of sheep,
one must above all be a sheep oneself.
- Albert Einstein

Tombs are the clothes of the dead.
A grave is a plain suit;
while an expensive monument is one with embroidery.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The best way to appreciate your job
is to imagine yourself without one.
- Oscar Wilde

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand,
you'll find one at the end of your arm.
- Audrey Hepburn

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

The rite of the rings appeals yet appalls:
a cutting, a joining, a losing, a gaining.
One becomes half, as two become one.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One minute you're in the lunchroom at Glenwood High
and you ... blink and you're 40,
you blink again and you can see movies
at half price on a senior citizen's pass.
Ask not for whom the bell tolls, or to put it more accurately,
ask not for whom the toilet flushes.
- the Woody Allen movie Celebrity

Thaw with her gentle persuasion is more powerful
than Thor with his hammer.
The one melts, the other breaks into pieces.
- Henry David Thoreau

When written in Chinese, the word "crisis"
is composed of two characters.
One represents danger and the other represents opportunity.
- John F. Kennedy

The best thing about the future is
that it comes one day at a time.
- Abraham Lincoln

One's first love is always perfect
until one meets one's second love.
- Elizabeth Aston

A New Year's resolution is something that
goes in one Year and out the other.
- Anonymous

Let your sympathies and your compassion
be always with the under dog in the fight -
this is magnanimity;
but bet on the other one - this is business.
- Mark Twain

Being a leader is like being a lady,
if you have to go around telling people you are one, you aren't.
- Margaret Thatcher

You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

If God listened to the prayers of men,
all men would quickly have perished:
for they are forever praying for evil against one another.
- Epicurus

A good indignation brings out all one's powers.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

Education is a method whereby
one acquires a higher grade of prejudices.
- Laurence J. Peter

I begin with the principle that all men are bores.
Surely no one will prove himself
so great a bore as to contradict me in this.
- Soren Kierkegaard


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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