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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Four Quotes
Funny Quotes about Four

Let these funny Four Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

The four building blocks of the universe are fire,
water, gravel and vinyl.
- Dave Barry


 

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.
- Cathy Guisewite

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln


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There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

There are three hundred and sixty-four days
when you might get un-birthday presents,
and only one for birthday presents, you know.
- Lewis Carroll

The secret of making dreams come true
can be summarized in four C's.
They are Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, and Constancy;
and the greatest of these is Confidence.
- Walt Disney

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four.
Unless there are three other people.
- Orson Welles

I have a dream that my four little children will one day
live in a nation where they will
not be judged by the color of their skin,
but by the content of their character.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Day, n. A period of twenty-four hours, mostly misspent.
- Ambrose Bierce

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

I used to be hung up on my figure, but it's a waste of time.
I don't believe in diets.
Have four pints one night, be healthy the next.
- Sophie Ellis Bextor

I've got all the money I'll ever need,
if I die by four o'clock.
- Henny Youngman

It has been well said that a hungry man is more interested
in four sandwiches than four freedoms.
- Henry Cabot Lodge, Jr.

The Four Agreements
1.Be impeccable with your word.
2.Don't take anything personally.
3.Don't make assumptions.
4.Always do your best.
- don Miguel Ruiz

A best friend is like a four leaf clover,
hard to find and lucky to have.
- Anonymous

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm
not hungry enough to eat six.
- Yogi Berra

Home is any four walls that enclose the right person.
- Helen Rowland

There are only four questions of value in life...
What is sacred?
Of what is the spirit made?
What is worth living for,
and what is worth dying for?
The answer to each is the same: only love.
- Johnny Depp as Don Juan in the movie Don Juan De Marco

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey

One's family is the most important thing in life.
I look at it this way: One of these days I'll be over
in a hospital somewhere with four walls around me.
And the only people who'll be with me will be my family.
- Robert Byrd

When a man you like switches from what
he said a year ago, or four years ago,
he is a broad-minded person who has courage enough
to change his mind with changing conditions.
When a man you don't like does it,
he is a liar who has broken his promise.
- Franklin Pierce Adams

It's easy to get four days a week of training in and
I don't spend more than 55-60 minutes in the gym.
- Warren Cuccurullo

If you have four years to complete your college education,
do it.
- Bo Jackson

What may seem depressing or even tragic to one person
may seem like an absolute scream to another person,
especially if he has had between four and seven beers.
- Dave Barry

Right now we have a closure rate between discovery
and exploitation of four to six months.
We need to be more in the realm of seven to 10 days.
That is an enormous challenge.
- John W. Thompson

It's hard work to make a four-minute program look effortless and elegant.
- Katarina Witt

When my babe was born, they said it was premature.
It weighed only four pounds; but God let it live.
- Harriet Ann Jacobs

But the Americans have no extra money.
They have their own problems.
They can provide financial assistance for two,
three, four, or six months at most.
- Eduard Shevardnadze

I was number one in the ratings four times last year and twice this season.
What could be more damn equal than that? If they get any more equal,
I don't want it.
- Flip Wilson

On account of being a democracy and run by the people,
we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years,
no matter what it does.
- Will Rogers

I've signed on for four movies, and I'll do four.
That's easy.
No complications there.
- Robbie Coltrane

Queen has taken the all of our time for last four or five years,
you know.
- John Deacon

Put three Zionists in a room and they will form four political parties.
- Levi Eshkol

Acting is the most minor of gifts.
After all, Shirley Temple could do it when she was four.
- Katharine Hepburn

To see those babies with no food for three of four days,
old people sitting in the hot sun, when you see these poor people,
you cannot help but being compassionate or affected.
- Geraldo Rivera

The statements of four witnesses of unquestioned integrity,
traveling with me that day, attest that such comments
were never made and confirm that it simply did not happen.
- Paul Crouch

Every four weeks I go up a bra size...
it's worth being pregnant just for the breasts.
- Natasha Hamilton

Well I've written four beauty books as well.
- Joan Collins

Throughout the evening I would be recording these long
saxophone delays and about four hours into the concert,
if I wanted to take a break I would just play back the saxophone.
- Terry Riley

At Bloomington, Indiana, I was invited to listen to
music written in quarter tones for four harps and voices.
I had to go out to be sick.
- Elisabeth Schwarzkopf

But I do have time to pencil in golf,
and we've got four excellent courses.
- Darrell Royal

I'm not scared of very much.
I've been hit by lightning and been in the Marine Corps for four years.
- Lee Trevino

The privilege of being at the university for four years
is something I'll always treasure.
- Hank Brown

What's the difference between sex and love? I have
four wives and five kids.
I apparently don't know the difference.
- James Caan

How sick one gets of being "good," how much I should
respect myself if I could burst out and make everyone
wretched for twenty-four hours;
embody selfishness.
- Alice James

Even God cannot make two times two not make four.
- Hugo Grotius

Black people dominate sports in the United States.
20% of the population and 90% of the final four.
- Chris Rock

The Master teaches that the way of qigong cannot be hurried.
Wuji refers to the time before the creation -
when everything was formless.
Standing in the wuji position, my feet are parallel
to each other, shoulder-width apart.
My knees are slightly bent,
and the tip of my tongue touches the roof of my mouth.
My arms are held in front of me with my elbows bent
and my palms parallel to each other - about four inches apart.
At first I focus on my breathing, and only my breathing.
Later, I visualize the energy or "Qi" between my palms.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It's never over.
You don't want to be in the position to be down four
runs in the ninth inning,
but it's not over until the last out.
- Derek Jeter

USA Today has come out with a new survey -
apparently,
three out of every four people make up 75% of the population.
- David Letterman

True time is four-dimensional.
- Martin Heidegger

Good authors, too, who once knew better words now only
use four-letter words writing prose...
anything goes.
- Cole Porter

I'm a huge fan of James Dean, that got me started.
Nowadays I smoke four packs in a day.
- Ville Valo

You know the puritan ethic that started out four centuries ago in this country,
needless to say - at least for the moment -
a thing of the past -
from what I can tell.
- James Young

Being the first to do something like this also registers
a lot of attention that the line might not have gotten
if all four books had just appeared from one company.
- Mark Millar

I also don't have organized religion on Pern.
I figured - since there were four holy wars going on at the time of writing -
that religion was one problem Pern didn't need.
- Anne McCaffrey

They had the music being piped right out on the street.
I'd be three or four blocks from there and I couldn't
get there fast enough because I'd hear old Joe holler them words.
- Jay McShann

I am hoping the four new players can bring in some
energy and fresh enthusiasm because they do not have
the baggage that comes from being part of a losing side.
- Andy Pick

Mathematicians aren't satisfied because they know there
are no solutions up to four million or four billion,
they really want to know that there are no solutions up to infinity.
- Andrew Wiles

So that between the Cape of St.
Maria and Japan we were four months and twenty-two days;
at which time there were no more than six besides myself
that could stand upon his feet.
- Will Adams

Even though they won't finish in the top four this season,
they will still be of the contenders next season.
- Alan Hansen

It is three and a half hours long, four characters
wide and a cesspool deep.
- John Jay Chapman

I have not had a drink for four years,
which for me is a long time.
- Kelly McGillis

Carrying those double tanks around all the time got
to be a little rough on me.
I had to put that damn wetsuit on and take it off,
sometimes three or four times a day.
- Lloyd Bridges

I studied at the Budapest Academy of Theatrical Arts
for four years and emerged with a degree.
- Bela Lugosi

All of us kids ended up 'doing Mom.' There are four
of us who've tried show business.
Five if you insist on counting my sister the nun,
who does liturgical dance.
- Bill Murray

It was a real rough year and a half.
I was getting 80 shots every four weeks.
- David Gest


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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