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Funny Should Quotes
Funny Quotes about Should

Let these funny Should Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill

Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer PHOTO

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous


 

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I
should have been more specific.
- Lily Tomlin


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I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

I think they should have a Barbie with a buzz cut.
- Ellen DeGeneres

I don't think anyone should write their autobiography
until after they're dead.
- Samuel Goldwyn

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

My childhood should have taught me lessons for my own fatherhood,
but it didn't because parenting can only be learned
by people who have no children.
- Bill Cosby

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools,
but I don't believe the kids should be given homework.
- Bill Cosby

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein

We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau

I should prefer to have a politician who regularly
went to a massage parlour than one who promised a laptop
computer for every teacher.
- A. N. Wilson

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

It is not fit that every man should travel;
it makes a wise man better,
and a fool worse.
- William Hazlitt

If a man watches three football games in a row,
he should be declared legally dead.
- Erma Bombeck

Exercise should be regarded as tribute to the heart.
- Gene Tunney

It is well that war is so terrible.
We should grow too fond of it.
- Robert E. Lee

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office
and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight
more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
- Nicolas Cage

One should believe in marriage as in the immortality of the soul.
- Honore de Balzac

We should take care not to make the intellect our god;
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein

Since you get more joy out of giving joy to others,
you should put a good deal of thought
into the happiness that you are able to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

There are only two things we should fight for.
One is the defense of our homes and the other is the Bill of Rights.
- Smedley Butler

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and
dissected at least one woman.
- Honore de Balzac

Faith is the very first thing you should pack in a hope chest.
- Sarah Ban Breathnach

It is not in the nature of politics that the best men should be elected.
The best men do not want to govern their fellowmen.
- George MacDonald

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The well-being and welfare of children should always be our focus.
- Todd Tiahrt

Parents should not smoke in order to discourage their kids from smoking.
A child is more likely to smoke when they have been
raised in the environment of a smoker.
- Christy Turlington

Every production of an artist should be the expression
of an adventure of his soul.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw

Why should society feel responsible only for the education of children,
and not for the education of all adults of every age?
- Erich Fromm

A writer should write with his eyes and a painter paint with his ears.
- Gertrude Stein

Love in marriage should be the accomplishment of a beautiful dream,
and not, as it too often is, the end.
- Alphonse Karr

I think your whole life shows in your face and you should be proud of that.
- Lauren Bacall

Building one space station for everyone was and is insane:
we should have built a dozen.
- Larry Niven

A boxer's diet should be low in fat and high in proteins and sugar.
Therefore you should eat plenty of lean meat,
milk, leafy vegetables, and fresh fruit and ice cream for sugar.
- Gene Tunney

In all science, error precedes the truth,
and it is better it should go first than last.
- Hugh Walpole

We should concentrate our work not only to a separated
housing problem but housing involved in our daily work
and all the other functions of the city.
- Alvar Aalto


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