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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Make Quotes
Funny Quotes about Make

Let these funny Make Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

You can lead a man to Congress,
but you can't make him think.
- Milton Berle

If two wrongs don't make a right, try three.
- Laurence J. Peter

One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain


 

I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
- Woody Allen

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

If my films make one more person miserable,
I'll feel I have done my job.
- Woody Allen


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You can put wings on a pig,
but you don't make it an eagle.
- William J. Clinton

Go ahead, make my day.
- the movie Sudden Impact (1983)

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Parrots make great pets.
They have more personality than goldfish.
- Chevy Chase

Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

Clear? Huh. Why a four-year-old child
could understand this report.
Run out and find me a four-year-old child,
I can't make head or tail of it.
- the Groucho Marx movie Duck Soup

EVERYONE has the right to make an ass out of themselves.
- Harold and Maude (The movie )

That's my only goal.
Surround myself with funny people, and make sure everyone
has a good time and works hard.
- Joe Rogan

I don't want to move to a city where the only cultural advantage
is being able to make a right turn on a red light.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

New Yorkers love it when you spill your guts out there.
Spill your guts at Wimbledon and they make you stop and clean it up.
- Jimmy Carter

I don't know, I don't care,
and it doesn't make any difference!
- Albert Einstein

The objection to Puritans is not that
they try to make us think as they do,
but that they try to make us do as they think.
- H. L. Mencken

You have to be a bastard to make it, and that's a fact.
And the Beatles are the biggest bastards on earth.
- John Lennon

Law of Contrariness:
Our chief want in life is somebody
who shall make us do what we can.
Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Human beings must have action;
and they will make it if they cannot find it.
- Albert Einstein

Lord, where we are wrong,
make us willing to change;
where we are right,
make us easy to live with.
- Peter Marshall

Creationists make it sound as though a "theory'
is something you dreamt up after being drunk all night.
- Isaac Asimov

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

God doesn't make junk.
- Anonymous

A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright

Clothes make the man.
Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain

Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor

I can make more generals, but horses cost money.
- Abraham Lincoln

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

Gods always behave like the people who make them.
- Zora Neale Hurston

If Hitler invaded hell
I would make at least a favorable reference
to the devil in the House of Commons.
- Winston Churchill

I never make stupid mistakes.
Only very, very clever ones.
- John Peel

I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams

How many legs does a dog have
if you call the tail a leg? Four.
Calling a tail a leg doesn't make it a leg.
- Abraham Lincoln

The greatest mistake you can make in life
is to be continually fearing you will make one.
- Elbert Hubbard

Square meals often make round people.
- E. Joseph Cossman

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

Money won't make you happy...
but everybody wants to find out for themselves.
- Zig Ziglar

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

If you want to make enemies,
try to change something.
- Woodrow Wilson

If you want to make peace with your enemy,
you have to work with your enemy.
Then he becomes your partner.
- Nelson Mandela

Love one another but make not a bond of love.
Let it rather be a moving sea
between the shores of your souls.
- Khalil Gibran

If (s)he's an apple and you're an orange,
celebrate your differences -
make a great fruit salad.
Love isn't about being the same -
it's about being sweet with each other.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world.
- The Buddha

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I make it a policy to try never to
make a complete idiot of myself twice in the same way.
After all, there's always all kinds of new ways
to make a complete idiot of myself.
Why repeat the old ones?
- Margot Dalton

Curiosity takes courage.
The most important promises are the ones you make to yourself.
Pay Attention.
Appreciate. Listen. Imagine.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Make your "yes" mean yes,
and your "no" mean no.
- John Wooden

I seldom think about my limitations,
and they never make me sad.
Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times;
but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
- Helen Keller

Well-behaved women seldom make history.
- Laurel Thatcher Ulrich

Make a conscious choice to live
a serene and stress-free life.
Stress is always waiting just outside your door
like a vicious wild-dog.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Until you make the unconscious conscious,
it will direct your life and you will call it fate.
- Carl Jung

At the end of a matter ask,
"What will I learn from this to make me better?"
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Doing an injury puts you below your enemy;
revenging one make you but even with him;
forgiving it sets you above him.
- Benjamin Franklin [attributed]

I have found out that though the ways in which
I can make myself useful are few,
yet the work open to me is endless.
- Helen Keller

Make the most of your regrets;
never smother your sorrow,
but tend and cherish it till it comes to have
a separate and integral interest.
To regret deeply is to live afresh.
- Henry David Thoreau

Pain is what the world inflicts upon us.
Suffering is our emotional reaction when we fail
to make the difficult conscious choice to choose Joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Make Today count. Today - each Today -
is the most important day of your life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

No amount of self-improvement can make up
for a lack of self-acceptance.
- Anonymous

Carpe diem! Rejoice while you are alive; enjoy the day;
live life to the fullest;
make the most of what you have.
It is later than you think.
- Horace

Make the most of yourself,
for that is all there is of you.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

We will either find a way or make one.
- Hannibal

The fastest way to destroy love
is to make a goal out of it,
because people who are trying to be loved
come from a place that they're not loved.
- Werner Erhard

The goal of life is
to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe,
to match your nature with Nature.
- Joseph Campbell

Every mind must make its choice
between truth and repose.
It cannot have both.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Begin to define for ourselves
what it is to make a healthy choice.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.