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Let these funny Drawers Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous
However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill
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I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx
Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous
I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)
Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)
Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller
If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau
One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde
I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead
One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche
One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde
Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks
The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb
A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling
The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous
I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp
You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)
Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb
If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates
Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind
The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank
If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
I think with the Romans, that the general of today
should be a soldier tomorrow if necessary.
- Thomas Jefferson
Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should be,
and he will become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
He who would pass his declining years with honor and comfort,
should, when young, consider that he may one day become old,
and remember when he is old, that he has once been young.
- Joseph Addison
No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill
Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda
NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We should distrust any enterprise that requires new clothes.
- Henry David Thoreau
When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
Do not do unto others
as you expect they should do unto you.
Their tastes may not be the same.
- George Bernard Shaw
It is curious - curious that physical courage
should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
- Mark Twain
No statement should be believed because it is made by an authority.
- Robert A. Heinlein
I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman
We should take care not to make the intellect our god;
it has, of course, powerful muscles, but no personality.
- Albert Einstein
If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
When a man assumes a public trust
he should consider himself a public property.
- Thomas Jefferson
Everyone should be respected as an individual,
but no one idolized.
- Albert Einstein
I soothe my conscience now with the thought that
it is better for hard words to be on paper
than that Mummy should carry them in her heart.
- Anne Frank
You should never be content with so little,
when you can reach out for something big.
- Charles L. Allen
(This quote is about making a big difference
in the world - not about greed)
If the stars should appear
but one night every thousand years
how man would marvel and stare.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
How often I found where I should be going
only by setting out for somewhere else.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
There is NOTHING that I "must",
"have to", or "should" do today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill
Could we change our attitude,
we should not only see life differently,
but life itself would be different.
- Katherine Mansfield
It is one thing to say that something should be done,
but quite a different matter to do it.
- Aesop
A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein
You should not confuse your career with your life.
- Dave Barry
If there is one principle more deeply rooted
in the mind of every American,
it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.
- Thomas Jefferson
But for my faith in God, I should have been a raving maniac.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
All labor that uplifts humanity has dignity and importance
and should be undertaken with painstaking excellence.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Do not worry if you have built your castles in the air.
They are where they should be.
Now put the foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau
Were it left to me to decide whether we should
have a government without newspapers,
or newspapers without a government,
I should not hesitate a moment to prefer the latter.
- Thomas Jefferson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.