Enter one or two keywords to search these Funny Quotes.

Hint: keep it simple, like life twain



Facebook share   Tweet This   Email this

Funny Quotes about Life
Funny Quotes about Life | Funny Love Quotes | Links | About
Search:   A-   B-   Ca-   Co-   D-   E-   F-   G-   H-    I-    J-K-L   M-   N-O   Pa-   Pr-   Q-R   Sa-   Sk-   T-   U-V-W-X-Y-Z

Funny Table Quotes
Funny Quotes about Table

Let these funny Table Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

A honeymoon should be like a table:
four bare legs and no drawers.
- Anonymous

Never argue at the dinner table, for the one who is not hungry
always gets the best of the argument.
- Voltaire

We gather today in gratitude for the bounty of the land,
the joyful company around this table,
and all the other blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We receive this food in gratitude to all beings
Who have helped to bring it to our table,
And vow to respond in turn to those in need
With wisdom and compassion.
- Buddhist Blessing


 

A table, a chair, a bowl of fruit and a violin;
what else does a man need to be happy?
- Albert Einstein

As we join hands in fellowship
around this bountiful table,
we give thanks for the blessings of this food
and the love of these friends
as a symbol of our gratitude
for all the manifold blessings of this life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

However beautiful the strategy,
you should occasionally look at the results.
- Winston Churchill


Get a Funny Quote of the Day each day by email or in your feed reader.

 Subscribe in a reader -- or
Enter your email address:




Delivered by FeedBurner


Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

I was married by a judge.
I should have asked for a jury.
- Groucho Marx

Everyone should have at least two friends -
one to talk to and one to talk about.
- Anonymous

Procrastination is the bad habit of putting off
until the day after tomorrow what should
have been done the day before yesterday.
- Napoleon Hill

I read that you should never go out with someone
if you can think of three reasons why you shouldn't.
- the movie Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason (2004)

Husbands should be like Kleenex:
soft, strong, and disposable.
- the movie Clue (1985)

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

The person who says it cannot be done
should not interrupt the person who is doing it.
- Chinese proverb

The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin

If I knew for a certainty that a man was coming to my house
with the conscious design of doing me good,
I should run for my life.
- Henry David Thoreau

A benevolent man should allow a few faults in himself,
to keep his friends in countenance.
- Benjamin Franklin

The physician can bury his mistakes,
but the architect can only advise his client to plant vines -
so they should go as far as possible from home
to build their first buildings.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance,
but with somebody else.
- Mae West

I will far rather see the race of man extinct
than that we should become less than beasts
by making the noblest of God's creation,
woman, the object of our lust.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

It is an open question whether any behavior
based on fear of eternal punishment
can be regarded as ethical
or should be regarded as merely cowardly.
- Margaret Mead

Bad taste is simply saying the truth before it should be said.
- Mel Brooks

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

The truth. It is a beautiful and terrible thing,
and should be treated with caution.
- J. K. Rowling

The Ought-To Need-To Tango:
I am racked with the guilt and the pain of I should,
and I ought, and I can't, but I must.
I can't rest; I can't sleep; I'm just not understood,
and I hate that the world is unjust.
I have work; I have woes; I have troubles for life;
but I don't have a ME that I trust.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple:
you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities
but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster.
- Quentin Crisp

If a man is proud of his wealth,
he should not be praised until it is known how he employs it.
- Socrates

If a man is called to be a street sweeper,
he should sweep streets even as Michelangelo painted,
or Beethoven composed music, or Shakespeare wrote poetry.
He should sweep streets so well that all the hosts
of heaven and earth will pause to say,
here lived a great street sweeper who did his job well.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

Everyone should carefully observe
which way his heart draws him,
and then choose that way with all his strength.
- Hasidic Proverb

Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Life is a great big canvas,
and you should throw all the paint you can on it.
- Danny Kaye

You either do it completely and utterly,
or you should stop doing it.
- Bono (paraphrase)

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Those who have come here to hate should leave now;
for in their hate, they only betray themselves.
- Terry Goodkind

The best remedy for those who are afraid, lonely or unhappy
is to go outside, somewhere where they can be quiet,
alone with the heavens, nature and God.
Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be.
- Anne Frank

No one has yet realized the wealth of sympathy,
the kindness and generosity hidden in the soul of a child.
The effort of every true education should be to unlock that treasure.
- Emma Goldman

Form follows function - that has been misunderstood.
Form and function should be one, joined in a spiritual union.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I think, at a child's birth,
if a mother could ask a fairy godmother
to endow it with the most useful gift,
that gift should be curiosity.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Everyone should be respected as an individual,
but no one idolized.
- Albert Einstein

Commerce with all nations,
alliance with none,
should be our motto.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is curious - curious that physical courage
should be so common in the world, and moral courage so rare
- Mark Twain

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but not simpler.
- Albert Einstein

What people often mean by getting rid of conflict
is getting rid of diversity,
and it is of the utmost importance
that these should not be considered the same.
- M. P. Follett

We should not moor a ship with one anchor,
or our life with one hope.
- Epictetus

Don't seek God in temples.
He is close to you.
He is within you.
Only you should surrender to Him
and you will rise above happiness and unhappiness.
- Leo Tolstoy

No partner in a love relationship...
should feel that he has to give up
an essential part of himself to make it viable.
- May Sarton

The value of a man should be seen in what he gives
and not in what he is able to receive.
- Albert Einstein

The battle for the individual rights of women is one of long standing
and none of us should countenance anything which undermines it.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

NO ONE has been granted the authority to tell me
how my life should be lived.
I answer only to myself and to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Every citizen should be a soldier.
This was the case with the Greeks and Romans,
and must be that of every free state.
- Thomas Jefferson

We should be too big to take offense
and too noble to give it.
- Abraham Lincoln

In wartime, truth is so precious that she
should always be attended by a bodyguard of lies.
- Winston Churchill

No idea is so outlandish that it should not be considered
with a searching but at the same time a steady eye.
- Winston Churchill

If there is one principle more deeply rooted
in the mind of every American,
it is that we should have nothing to do with conquest.
- Thomas Jefferson

Treat a man as he is and he will remain as he is.
Treat a man as he can and should be,
and he will become as he can and should be.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Neither should a ship rely on one small anchor,
nor should life rest on a single hope.
- Epictetus

Every man should have a fair-sized cemetery
in which to bury the faults of his friends.
- Henry Brooks Adams

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The essence of philosophy is that a man should so live
that his happiness shall depend
as little as possible on external things.
- Epictetus

A man should look for what is,
and not for what he thinks should be.
- Albert Einstein

If you have built castles in the air,
your work need not be lost;
that is where they should be.
Now put foundations under them.
- Henry David Thoreau

Many people excuse their own faults
but judge other persons harshly.
We should reverse this attitude
by excusing others' shortcomings
and by harshly examining our own.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

We may have our private opinions
but why should they be a bar to the meeting of hearts?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


Thank you for visiting: Funny Table Quotes - Funny Quotes about Table.

Please sign up on the form below to receive
my Free Daily Inspiration - Daily Quotes email.

You can also search my large collection of Funny Quotes.

May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Sign-up for your free subscription to my Daily Inspiration - Daily Quote email.

Your E-Mail Address:
Your Name:

To confirm your subscription, you must click on a link in the email being sent to you.

Each email contains an unsubscribe link. We will NEVER sell, rent, loan, or abuse your email address in ANY way.


Funny Quotes

 


All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.