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Let these funny Elephant Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
When you have got an elephant by the hind legs
and he is trying to run away, it's best to let him run.
- Abraham Lincoln
Trumpet in a herd of elephants;
crow in the company of cocks;
bleat in a flock of goats.
- Malayan Proverb
Collective fear stimulates herd instinct,
and tends to produce ferocity toward
those who are not regarded as members of the herd.
- Bertrand Russell
I have thought there was some advantage even in death,
by which we mingle with the herd of common men.
- Henry David Thoreau
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Everything we say, do, think, and feel
is a product of our personal history
and the collective history of humankind.
Our name for these histories is "prejudice."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Liberty is to the collective body,
what health is to every individual body.
Without health no pleasure can be tasted by man;
without liberty, no happiness can be enjoyed by society.
- Thomas Jefferson
When everything comes your way
you're in the wrong lane.
- Anonymous
Tip the world over on its side and
everything loose will land in Los Angeles.
- Frank Lloyd Wright
Damn it boss, I like you too much not to say it.
You've got everything except one thing: madness!
- the movie Zorba The Greek
Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous
One cannot have everything the way he would like it.
A man has no business to be depressed by a disappointment,
anyway; he ought to make up his mind to get even.
- Mark Twain
I can resist everything except temptation.
- Oscar Wilde
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
I want to thank my parents for everything I am today -
fat, miserable, and paranoid.
- Anonymous
The unleashed power of the atom has changed everything
save our modes of thinking
and we thus drift toward unparalleled catastrophe.
- Albert Einstein
The more he became truly wise,
the more he distrusted everything he knew.
- Voltaire
People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov
Attitude is everything.
- Charles Swindoll
I am no longer young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)
If everything seems to be going well,
you have obviously overlooked something.
- Anonymous
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
The simple life is everything Vogue isn't.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once.
- Woody Allen
I am not young enough to know everything.
- Oscar Wilde
A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.
- Phyllis Diller
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished.
- Lao Tzu
Everything is a miracle,
not just the beautiful and lovely things.
- Anonymous
Miracles occur naturally as expressions of love.
The real miracle is the love that inspires them.
In this sense everything that comes from love is a miracle.
- A Course in Miracles
Everything has beauty,
but not everyone sees it.
- Confucius
When I see Spirit in everything, Peace is at hand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I believe that everything happens for a reason.
People change so that you can learn to let go,
things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right,
you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself,
and sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
- Marilyn Monroe
Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal
Everything you say and do,
is a reflection of the inner you.
- Anonymous
Christmas waves a magic wand over this world,
and behold, everything is softer and more beautiful.
- Norman Vincent Peale
I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like a song,
But the man worth while is the one who will smile
When everything goes dead wrong.
- Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Infinite striving to be the best is man's duty;
it is its own reward.
Everything else is in God's hands.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Everything that irritates us about others
can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
- Carl Jung
Everything we believe is a matter of evolution and history.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
For everything I observe or experience,
I create a story - not sometimes, but always.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Feeling overwhelmed by apparent demands on our time
is like going to a restaurant,
ordering everything on the menu,
and complaining about indigestion.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Presence requires an internal alertness
to the all and everything surrounding us.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Better learn balance. Balance is key.
Balance good, karate good. Everything good.
Balance bad, better pack up, go home. Understand?
- Miyagi: character in the movie Karate Kid
I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
In three words, I can sum up everything
I've learned about life - it goes on.
- Robert Frost
So divinely is the world organized that every one of us,
in our place and time, is in balance with everything else.
- Adam Acone
Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin
The Universe is one great kindergarten for man.
Everything that exists has brought
with it its own peculiar lesson.
- Orison Swett Marden
Not everything that casts a long shadow is to be feared.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Integrity is the essence of everything successful.
- R. Buckminster Fuller
When we try to pick out anything by itself,
we find it hitched to everything else in the universe.
- John Muir
Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact.
Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.
- Marcus Aurelius
Public sentiment is everything.
With public sentiment, nothing can fail.
Without it, nothing can succeed.
- Abraham Lincoln
The Master acts without doing, and everything gets done.
- Lao Tzu
Always aim at complete harmony
of thought and word and deed.
Always aim at purifying your thoughts
and everything will be well.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Love them as they are,
and forgive them everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Everything I need will be manifested.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Winning isn't everything; it's the only thing.
- Vince Lombardi
When we come into the present,
we begin to feel the life around us again,
but we also encounter whatever we have been avoiding.
We must have the courage to face whatever is present -
our pain, our desires, our grief,
our loss, our secret hopes our love -
everything that moves us most deeply.
- Jack Kornfield
Everything that we see is a shadow
cast by that which we do not see.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Love is the ultimate meaning of everything around us.
Love is not a mere sentiment.
Love is the ultimate truth at the heart of creation.
- Rabindranath Tagore
I unconditionally forgive myself for everything
that I have ever done, said, or thought
that has caused me harm or suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
I forgive everyone for everything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Only those who can leave behind everything they
have ever believed in can hope to escape.
- William S. Burroughs
Look deep into nature, and then
you will understand everything better.
- Albert Einstein
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.