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Funny Cause Quotes
Funny Quotes about Cause

Let these funny Cause Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I never considered a difference of opinion
in politics, in religion, in philosophy,
as cause for withdrawing from a friend.
- Thomas Jefferson

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
- Mitch Hedberg

Marriage is the chief cause of divorce.
- Groucho Marx

Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde


 

The natural cause of the human mind
is certainly from credulity to skepticism.
- Thomas Jefferson

Regrets and resentments cause great suffering but fix nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Intolerance betrays want of faith in one's cause.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi


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If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus

What is the use of physicians like myself trying to
help parents to bring up children healthy and happy,
to have them killed in such numbers for a cause that is ignoble?
- Benjamin Spock

At times our own light goes out
and is rekindled by a spark from another person.
Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude
of those who have lighted the flame within us.
- Albert Schweitzer

I hope to stand firm enough to not go backward,
and yet not go forward fast enough
to wreck the country's cause.
- Abraham Lincoln

I've got two old Volvos, two old Subarus,
and an old Ford Ranger.
If you've got an old car, you've gotta have at least several old cars,
'cause one's always gonna be in the garage.
- Rip Torn

Only one who devotes himself to a cause
with his whole strength and soul
can be a true master.
For this reason mastery demands all of a person.
- Albert Einstein

Whoever, fleeing marriage and the sorrows that women cause,
does not wish to wed comes to a deadly old age.
- Hesiod

To believe in a just law of cause and effect,
carrying with it a punishment or a reward,
is to believe in righteousness.
- Ernest Holmes

The automobile, both a cause and an effect of this decentralization,
is ideally suited for our vast landscape and our generally
confused and contrary commuting patterns.
- Brock Yates

Women's rights is not only an abstraction,
a cause; it is also a personal affair.
It is not only about us; it is also about me and you.
Just the two of us.
- Toni Morrison

We cause ourselves untold misery whenever we believe
others to be imperfect and try to change them.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Instead of dwelling on negative thoughts,
cause your mind to dwell on peace and joy.
- Ernest Holmes

The probability that we may fail
in the struggle ought not to deter us
from the support of a cause we believe to be just.
- Abraham Lincoln

I am prepared to die, but there is no cause
for which I am prepared to kill.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Are you feeling stressed and upset?
If so, you are worrying about tomorrow.
Events that have already occurred may cause you regret,
but they only appear to cause worry.
If you just lost your job, you are not worrying about losing your job -
that already happened.
You are worrying about paying your bills and finding a new job.
Those are worries about tomorrow.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One of the greatest cause of unhappiness -
perhaps even the only cause of unhappiness - is comparison.
I remember as a young child hearing my mother say,
"Comparisons are odious."
That is one of the oldest sayings in the English language,
and one of the most important.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

At the root of all the harm we cause is ignorance.
- Pema Chodron

Our incomes are like our shoes; if too small,
they gall and pinch us; but if too large,
they cause us to stumble and to trip.
- John Locke

Truth never damages a cause that is just.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Shallow men believe in luck.
Strong men believe in cause and effect.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Christians are supposed not merely to endure change,
nor even to profit by it, but to cause it.
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

Cause and effect are two sides of one fact.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I write software, I know that it will fail,
either due to my own mistake, or due to some other cause.
- Wietse Venema

A very small degree of hope
is sufficient to cause the birth of love.
- Henri B. Stendhal

Philanthropy is commendable,
but it must not cause the philanthropist
to overlook the circumstances of economic injustice
which make philanthropy necessary.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

One of the surest ways to cause
yourself great suffering
is to insist upon being right -
to demand that all others view life
exactly as you view it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Anger is something that each one of us has experienced -
some of us only occasionally, some almost daily.
Can we eliminate all anger? Probably not.
We will always have expectations,
and those expectations will often be unmet.
Disappointment is the principle cause of anger.
When we are disappointed, we look for someone to blame.
Declaring someone to be at fault is the nature of anger.
Anger is always directed at someone -
possibly toward God or the non-specific "they,"
but at some animate entity.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Expectation (demand) is always a cause of suffering.
Rather than "expecting" to be repaid
when we "loan" something to someone,
consider the "loans" we make to be forward payments
for the "loans" we received from
our ancestors, nurturers and others.
Request that any "loan" that we make be repaid FORWARD,
when the recipient is able,
and then completely forget about the "loan."
It is no longer our business if, when, or how
the "loan" is repaid - or is not repaid.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stop holding on to the past.
Release your regrets about whatever you may have done
or failed to do that turned out poorly.
Forgive others for whatever they may have done
or failed to do that cause you harm.
Declare today to be a new beginning.
Let go of the past and move on with creating
a joyful new future for yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Action is a great restorer and builder of confidence.
Inaction is not only the result, but the cause, of fear.
Perhaps the action you take will be successful;
perhaps different action or adjustments will have to follow.
But any action is better than no action at all.
- Norman Vincent Peale

The new rage is to say that the government
is the cause of all our problems,
and if only we had no government, we'd have no problems.
I can tell you, that contradicts
evidence, history, and common sense.
- William J. Clinton

If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel

I accept that no one else has ever been to blame
for either my joy or my suffering.
The entire cause of all my joys and all my sufferings
is my own emotional response to the events of my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Happiness lies in accepting everyone
in our lives EXACTLY as they are.
We cause ourselves untold misery whenever
we believe others to be imperfect and try to change them.
This is the number one rule for a happy relationship.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Never do anything that taints your mind.
Wrong actions cause negative or evil mental vibrations
that are reflected in your whole appearance and personality.
Engage in those actions and thoughts that nurture
the good qualities you want to have.
- Paramahansa Yogananda

I think what's going on in Guantanamo Bay
and other places is a disgrace to the U.S.A.
I wouldn't say it's the cause of terrorism,
but it has given impetus and excuses to potential terrorists
to lash out at our country and justify their despicable acts.
- Jimmy Carter

Thus so wretched is man that he would weary even without
any cause for weariness...
and so frivolous is he that, though full of a thousand reasons for weariness,
the least thing, such as playing billiards or hitting a ball,
is sufficient enough to amuse him.
- Blaise Pascal

Poor air quality, which can be influenced by a variety of fumes,
chemicals and allergens, is arguably the leading cause
of triggers for most asthmatics in urban areas.
- Ian Smith

Every cause produces more than one effect.
- Herbert Spencer

Today continuing poverty and distress are a deeper
and more important cause of international tensions,
of the conditions that can produce war,
than previously.
- Lester B. Pearson

In other words, for every 10 enemy you kill you bring
on 20 new recruits to their anti-coalition cause then
essentially you are working against yourself.
- John Abizaid

You have a class of investors and you have a class of speculators.
The speculators historically haven't been big enough
to cause the investors to doubt the long-term vision of stock.
- Jim Cramer

One of the things that has always motivated me to write
is the desire to get it out and look at it in an objective way,
so that it doesn't cause me any serious pain by staying inside.
- Carly Simon

Haters keep on hating, cause somebody's gotta do it.
- Chris Brown

The principal cause of war is war itself.
- C. Wright Mills

Logic can often be reversed, but the effect does not precede the cause.
- Gregory Bateson

Playing live for a good cause is something I like to do.
I like the response of the Indian people,
I like their depth and the way they look beyond the surface of things.
- Jeremy Spencer

Cause there's only one reason for doing anything that you set out to do.
If you don't want to be the best, then there's no reason
going out and trying to accomplish anything.
- Joe Montana

I think everyone holds back.
I am always censoring myself and I'm sorry about it.
But I always have to consider whether my remarks might cause someone pain.
- John Hall

It's a lot more fun to play the bitch than it is to
play the perfect girl 'cause everybody has a bad side inside of them.
- Mandy Moore

Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't
mean the circus has left town.
- George Carlin

It is the cause, not the death, that makes the martyr.
- Napoleon Bonaparte

We have to be able to criticise what we love,
to say what we have to say 'cause if your not trying
to make something better,
than as far as I can tell, you are just in the way.
- Ani DiFranco

I think that feeling that if one believed absolutely in any cause,
then one must have the confidence, the self-certainty,
to go through with that particular course of action.
- Wole Soyinka

Look, a lot of women would be turned off with hearing
me say how hot I think Brad Pitt is!
Know what I mean? So I probably don't help my cause.
- Ryan Seacrest

My fellow revolutionaries, liberation is a noble cause.
We must fight to obtain it.
- George Weah

This is love: to fly toward a secret sky,
to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment.
First to let go of life.
Finally, to take a step without feet.
- Rumi

In the beginning of the human race there was no genetic
load which would cause undesirable traits such as appear
in offspring of marriages between relatives today.
- Walter Lang

After all these years I had the privilege of naming my private part,
cause we have nicknames.
So I named my private part pride...
it's not much but at least I have my pride.
- Jay London

I'm a real rebel with a cause.
- Nina Simone

Washington and the elder Napoleon.
Both were brave men; both were true men;
both loved their country and dared to expose their
lives for their country's cause.
- Matthew Simpson

But the most important thing is, Enron did not cause the California crisis.
- Kenneth Lay

There's a new medical crisis.
Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic
reactions to latex condoms.
They say they cause severe swelling.
So what's the problem?
- Phyllis Diller

No experience is a cause of success or failure.
We do not suffer from the shock of our experiences,
so-called trauma - but we make out of them just what suits our purposes.
- Alfred Adler


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.