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Funny Office Quotes
Funny Quotes about Office

Let these funny Office Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

The proper office of a friend is to side with you
when you are in the wrong.
Nearly anybody will side with you when you are in the right.
- Mark Twain

Difference of opinion is advantageous in religion.
The several sects perform the office of a Censor -
over each other.
- Thomas Jefferson

I always arrive late at the office,
but I make up for it by leaving early.
- Charles Lamb

Everything that can be invented has been invented.
- Charles H. Duell [attributed]
(Commissioner, US Patent Office, in 1899)


 

I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed
that the doctor's office was full of portraits by Picasso.
- Rita Rudner

No one should ever sit in this office over 70 years old,
and that I know.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I wanted to be a forest ranger or a coal man.
At a very early age, I knew I didn't want to do what my dad did,
which was work in an office.
- Harrison Ford


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Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
- Erma Bombeck

The most important political office is that of the private citizen.
- Louis D. Brandeis

I think there is one higher office than president and
I would call that patriot.
- Gary Hart

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office
and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight
more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
- Nicolas Cage

Most people treat the office manual the way they treat a software manual.
They never look at it.
- James Levine

And after I make a lot of money, I'll be able to afford running for office.
- Christy Romano

When I took office, only high energy physicists
had ever heard of what is called the Worldwide Web...
Now even my cat has its own page.
- William J. Clinton

When we got into office, the thing
that surprised me most
was to find that things were just as bad
as we'd been saying they were.
- John F. Kennedy

Anyone who can walk to the welfare office can walk to work.
- Al Capp

leading by example creates a degree of
loyalty and overall success
that cannot be achieved through
issuing orders from a lofty office.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The thing I enjoyed most were visits from children.
They did not want public office.
- Herbert Hoover

I think housework is the reason most women go to the office.
- Heloise Cruse

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love,
drunk, or running for office.
- Shirley MacLaine

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the
moment you get up in the morning and does not stop
until you get into the office.
- Robert Frost

What politicians want to create is irreversible change
because when you leave office someone changes it back again.
- Estelle Morris

The second office in the government is honorable and easy;
the first is but a splendid misery.
- Thomas Jefferson

I have no ambition to govern men; it is a painful and thankless office.
- Thomas Jefferson

It is my desire, in the office of a Christian minister,
to do nothing which I cannot do with my whole heart.
Having said this, I have said all.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The supreme quality for leadership is unquestionably integrity.
Without it, no real success is possible,
no matter whether it is on a section gang,
a football field, in an army, or in an office.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The idea that you can merchandise candidates for high
office like breakfast cereal -
that you can gather votes like box tops -
is,
I think, the ultimate indignity to the democratic process.
- Adlai E. Stevenson

The United States brags about its political system,
but the President says one thing during the election,
something else when he takes office,
something else at midterm and something else when he leaves.
- Deng Xiaoping

I am a goal setter and I set more goals everyday.
I keep lists of goals in my office to stay on track.
- Kiana Tom

I never refused my help to any person black or white;
and I liked the office nonetheless because there were
neither fees nor salary connected with it.
- Salmon P. Chase

We are a long way from getting back the jobs lost since
President Bush took office.
- Pete Stark

Well, that's the - the removal from office and removal
of the Ten Commandments were two different issues.
- Roy Moore

I thought administration was the running of the office.
The Xerox machine.
Paying bills.
- Lesley Stahl

A friend in the War Office warned me that I was in Kitchener's black books,
and that orders had been given for my arrest next time I appeared in France.
- Philip Gibbs

Then that did very well at the box office,
so before you knew it, we were in a string of feature motion pictures.
Then they announced that they were going to do some spinoffs of us.
- George Takei

In the office, the mail that came in was always 10 to 1 for me.
- Davy Jones

If you win the Oscar, you get to go into just about
anybody's office for a month.
- Chris Wedge

I came very close to quitting my job for the Bush-Cheney '04 campaign.
I seriously considered packing up my office and heading home to Colorado.
- Mary Cheney

What troubles me is not that movie stars run for office,
but that they find it easy to get elected.
It should be difficult.
It should be difficult for millionaires,
too.
- Shana Alexander

We don't have titles on our business cards.
No one really gets any special treatment.
No one gets a corner office to put pictures of their family and their dog in.
- Jay Chiat

We do very little re-writing in the office.
We often take on people who show great promise and
who we hope will develop into somebody important and someone good.
- James Laughlin

I believe in the battle-whether it's the battle of
a campaign or the battle of this office,
which is a continuing battle.
- Richard M. Nixon

Putin can't afford to leave the office because he will
be in real danger of being prosecuted for things he
and his people did during their stay in power.
- Garry Kasparov

If the boy and girl walk off into the sunset hand-in-hand in the last scene,
it adds 10 million to the box office.
- George Lucas

What is inherently wrong with the word 'politician'
if the fellow has devoted his life to holding public
office and trying to do something for his people?
- Richard J. Daley

I was eight when he left office.
Like, he had an awesome house, you know,
and my cousins and I had awesome trips to Camp David and Washington.
It was just all like a good time for me.
- Lauren Bush

Elected office holds more perks than Elvis' nightstand.
- Dennis Miller

The standard entertainment industry reaction to Hollywood's
box office slump reveals the same shallow,
materialistic mindset that helped create the problem in the first place.
- Michael Medved

I know that I and my office acted with the highest
integrity as an independent inspector general should act.
- Gerald Walpin

Reason is, and ought only to be the slave of the passions,
and can never pretend to any other office than to serve and obey them.
- David Hume

Our first remark on this subject is that the ministry is an office,
and not merely a work.
- Charles Hodge

Every president, if you watch what they look like when they come into office,
you can see their hair turn white because it's such a hard job.
- Hillary Clinton

Things on the whole are much faster in America;
people don't 'stand for election',
they 'run for office.'
- Jessica Mitford

Ladies and gentlemen, I take office at a time in which
the world is living in extreme contradictions.
- Gustav Heinemann

No one in this world has ever lost money by underestimating
the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.
Nor has anyone ever lost public office thereby.
- H. L. Mencken

For instance, I always have one hanging in Budapest in the mayors office.
- Tony Curtis

We have been frustrated that there are a number of
incumbents in Maryland offices who have been in office
for years and years and show no movement or desire to pass the torch.
- John Mahoney

It was a confusing time in my life, a really bad day at the office.
- Boris Becker

The greatest mistake I made was not to die in office.
- Dean Acheson

The film is not a success until it makes money.
It's only good when there's a dollar figure attached to the box office.
- John Cusack

President Bush's mercury rule is a gift to the big
energy companies that helped put him in office.
- Tom Allen

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence,
I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes
in each office and situation.
- Colin Quinn

The office of presbyters is a permanent one.
- Charles Hodge

We began as restless and radical.
Remember the spirit of 1997, but by the end of our
time in office we had lost our way.
- Ed Miliband

But I have made no plans to run for any office right now.
- Roy Moore

I yield to no one in my admiration for the office as a social center,
but it's no place actually to get any work done.
- Katharine Whitehorn

I'm very proud of what we've done with the State University and the City University.
They're totally different institutions than they were when I took office.
- George Pataki

Official dignity tends to increase in inverse ratio
to the importance of the country in which the office is held.
- Aldous Huxley

Impeachment is not a remedy for private wrongs;
it's a method of removing someone whose continued presence
in office would cause grave danger to the nation.
- Charles Ruff

No people is wholly civilized where a distinction is
drawn between stealing an office and stealing a purse.
- Theodore Roosevelt

The time has come for justice at the ballot box,
and justice in the courts, and justice in the legislative halls,
and justice in the governor's office.
- John Jay Hooker


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