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Let these funny Unexamined Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
The unexamined life is not worth living.
- Socrates
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
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Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Only a fool tests the depth of the water with both feet.
- African Proverb
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knowing your own darkness is the best method
for dealing with the darknesses of other people.
- Carl Jung
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
I have found that if you love life,
life will love you back.
- Arthur Rubinstein
Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
You can observe a lot by just watching.
- Yogi Berra
Anyone who isn't confused,
really doesn't understand the situation.
- Edward R. Murrow
Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It's not the men in your life that counts,
it's the life in your men.
- Mae West, in the movie I'm No Angel
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard
Life is as easy or as hard as you think it is.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
If life is a bowl of cherries, then what am I doing in the pits?
- Erma Bombeck
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Iron rusts from disuse;
water loses its purity from stagnation...
even so does inaction sap the vigor of the mind.
- Leonardo da Vinci
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha
It takes a big cat to be number 2.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
It's never too late -
never too late to start over,
never too late to be happy.
- Jane Fonda
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Normal is not something to aspire to,
it's something to get away from.
- Jodie Foster
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.