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Funny Quotes about Life
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Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
by Charles M. Schulz

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz


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Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon


 

No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell

I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau

The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill

They have come up with a perfect understanding.
He won't try to run her life,
and he won't try to run his, either.
- Anonymous

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I can't go back to yesterday -
because I was a different person then.
- Lewis Carroll

Life is best when I wish neither to hurry the future nor to slow it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek

She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll

Nobody can be uncheered with a balloon.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

I don't believe in the after life,
although I am bringing a change of underwear.
- Woody Allen

A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Here's a toast to your new bride who has everything a girl
could want in her life, except for good taste in men.
- Anonymous

We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Persevere. Plan. Strategize. Focus. Breathe. Write.
Let go: relax. Forgive. All this failing: take a nap.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Sucking the marrow out of life
doesn't mean choking on the bone.
- Robin Williams as John Keating
in the 1989 movie Dead Poets Society

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son.
- the movie National Lampoon's Animal House (1978)

All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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