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Funny Ten Quotes
Funny Quotes about Ten

Let these funny Ten Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz PHOTO

Mr. President, I'm not saying we wouldn't get our hair mussed.
But I do say no more than ten to twenty million killed, tops.
Uh, depending on the breaks.
- the movie Dr. Strangelove

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin


 

Life is ten percent what happens to you
and ninety percent how you respond to it.
- Lou Holtz

When angry, count to ten before you speak.
If very angry, count to one hundred.
- Thomas Jefferson

My reaction to porno films is as follows; After the first ten minutes,
I want to go home and screw; After the first twenty minutes,
I never want to screw again as long as I live
- Erica Jong


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Ten soldiers wisely led will beat a hundred without a head.
- Euripides

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar
haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
- Sam Ewing

A reporter is always concerned with tomorrow.
There's nothing tangible of yesterday.
All I can say I've done is
agitate the air ten or fifteen minutes
and then boom - it's gone.
- Edward R. Murrow

A lifetime of training for just ten seconds.
- Jesse Owens

Baseball is the only field of endeavor where a man
can succeed three times out of ten and be considered a good performer.
- Ted Williams

The easiest kind of friendship for me
is with ten thousand people.
The hardest is with one.
- Joan Baez

If you have ten thousand regulations
you destroy all respect for the law.
- Winston Churchill

Success to me is having ten honeydew melons and eating
only the top half of each slice.
- Barbra Streisand

If you think in terms of a year, plant a seed;
if in terms of ten years, plant trees;
if in terms of 100 years, teach the people.
- Confucius

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

One loyal friend is worth ten thousand relatives.
- Euripides

Beware of endeavoring to become a great man in a hurry.
One such attempt in ten thousand may succeed.
These are fearful odds.
- Benjamin Disraeli

Am I a romantic? I've seen 'Wuthering Heights' ten times.
I'm a romantic.
- Johnny Depp

Success is falling nine times and getting up ten.
- Jon Bon Jovi

To me - old age is always ten years older than I am.
- John Burroughs

Ninety percent of the politicians give the other ten
percent a bad reputation.
- Henry A. Kissinger

In the sick room, ten cents' worth of human understanding
equals ten dollars' worth of medical science.
- Martin H. Fischer

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
- Corrie Ten Boom

If you plan for a year, plant a seed.
If for ten years, plant a tree.
If for a hundred years, teach the people.
When you sow a seed once, you will reap a single harvest.
When you teach the people, you will reap a hundred harvests.
- Kuan Chung

I used to think that cyberspace was fifty years away.
What I thought was fifty years away,
was only ten years away.
And what I thought was ten years away...
it was already here.
I just wasn't aware of it yet.
- Bruce Sterling

Ten Days That Shook The World, by Eisenstein,
I went to see it, and I was so impressed with this film,
so impressed with what cinema could do.
- Francis Ford Coppola

For about ten years now, the struggle for democracy
and the respect of human rights has been in the focus point -
if not a commodity -
of political groups aiming to rise to power.
- Omar Bongo

I figure I'll be champ for about ten years and then
I'll let my brother take over -
like the Kennedys down in Washington.
- Muhammad Ali

All men are born with a nose and ten fingers,
but no one was born with a knowledge of God.
- Voltaire

It wasn't until the movie came out that it all changed for us.
Some people say it was the start of Ten Years After,
but in another way, it was the beginning of the end.
- Alvin Lee

The only thing that's really riled me up in the last
ten years has been the White Stripes.
That's the one band that's gotten me competitive,
and that's good.
- Courtney Love

Stuff your eyes with wonder, live as if you'd drop dead in ten seconds.
See the world.
It's more fantastic than any dream made or paid for in factories.
- Ray Bradbury

I've had the same friends for ten, fifteen years.
- Jeanne Tripplehorn

Every ten years there is a new generation of actors.
- Barbet Schroeder

Olympics is global competition in which eighty,
ninety, hundred, hundred and ten countries participate.
- George Pataki

Perhaps these Ten Commandments cases will be the turning
point in the legal war against religion.
- Cliff Stearns

Public opinion is stronger than the legislature,
and nearly as strong as the ten commandments.
- Charles Dudley Warner

Well, that's the - the removal from office and removal
of the Ten Commandments were two different issues.
- Roy Moore

Most speakers speak ten minutes too long.
- James Humes

The Ten Commandments are the most visible symbol because
these commandments are recognized by Christians and
Jews alike as being the foundation of our system of public morality.
- Pat Robertson

I haven't slept for ten days, because that would be too long.
- Mitch Hedberg

It was there I met my future wife, Celeste Landry,
although our lives took us separate ways for many years
and we were not to marry until more than ten years later.
- Eric Allin Cornell

By the time a man gets to be presidential material,
he's been bought ten times over.
- Gore Vidal

Hollywood will accept actresses playing ten years older,
but actors can play ten years younger.
- Greta Scacchi

So when I was told to work, ten, twelve hours a day as an assistant pro,
I didn't complain.
It was normal.
- Bernhard Langer

The boys are in such a mood that if someone introduced the Ten Commandments,
they'd cut them down to seven.
- Norris Cotton

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't
suffer all the misery he wants in that time,
he must be numb.
- Josh Billings

Whether or not our system of Indian management has
been a success during the past ten,
fifty, or hundred years is almost answered in the asking.
- Nelson A. Miles

War its thousands slays, Peace its ten thousands.
- Beilby Porteus

About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen
a pencil with a blunt axe.
It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
- Edsger Dijkstra

A mule will labor ten years willingly and patiently for you,
for the privilege of kicking you once.
- William Faulkner

Many a man who has known himself at ten forgets himself
utterly between ten and thirty.
- Catherine Drinker Bowen

Poverty is uncomfortable; but nine times out of ten
the best thing that can happen to a young man is to
be tossed overboard and compelled to sink or swim.
- James A. Garfield

To me marriage is for five or ten years.
- Cher

In nine cases out of ten, a woman had better show more
affection than she feels.
- Aristotle

Until 45 I can play a woman in love.
After 55 I can play grandmothers.
But between those ten years, it is difficult for an actress.
- Ingrid Bergman

There was Shawon Dunston and Mark Grace,
and together we were a double play combination for ten years.
- Ryne Sandberg

For over ten years I always had, but I don't speak English.
- Zhang Yimou

We are all geniuses up to the age of ten.
- Aldous Huxley

Of every ten persons who talk about you,
nine will say something bad, and the tenth will say
something good in a bad way.
- Antoine Rivarol

One enemy can do more hurt than ten friends can do good.
- Jonathan Swift

Given one well-trained physician of the highest type
he will do better work for a thousand people than ten specialists.
- William J. Mayo

It's a pleasant thing to be young, and have ten toes.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

The man who has his millions will want everything he
can lay his hands on and then raise his voice against
the poor devil who wants ten cents more a day.
- Samuel Gompers

At ten I was playing against 18-year-old guys.
At 15 I was playing professional ball with the Birmingham Black Barons,
so I really came very quickly in all sports.
- Willie Mays

I held a variety of jobs - most notably ten years working in universities -
and kept on writing.
- Thomas Perry

The Ten Commandments are the divinely revealed law.
- Roy Moore

A person who has not done one half his day's work by ten o clock,
runs a chance of leaving the other half undone.
- Emily Bronte

I had been working in colour for ten years or so and
looked at digital and liked the possibilities it gave me.
- Fay Godwin


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