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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Airplane Quotes
Funny Quotes about Airplane

Let these funny Airplane Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There's no reason to become alarmed,
and we hope you'll enjoy the rest of your flight.
By the way, is there anyone on board who knows how to fly a plane?
- the movie Airplane!

Airplane travel is nature's way of making you look
like your passport photo.
- Al Gore

When everything seems to be going against you,
remember that the airplane takes off against the wind,
not with it.
- Henry Ford


 

How can you practice dancing in an airplane? There's a law against it.
- George Murphy

The airplane stays up because it doesn't have the time to fall.
- Orville Wright

Dad went to Canada to learn how to fly with the Royal Canadian Air Force.
He took me on my first airplane ride,
where I could have a hand on the stick.
- Wally Schirra


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In Japan, you get on the bullet train or the airplane,
and I loved the little speeches the stewardesses would do.
They even do little speeches before you play gigs.
- Beck

Regardless of how me or this man right here or anybody
else in this business get,
when we walk on an airplane in first-class looking like this,
we're gonna get searched.
- Method Man

It's hard to tell whether the ship or airplane -
they're all the same,
I'm convinced - is male or female; it may shift back and forth.
- John Hawkes

The airplane has had a big impact on my life.
- Jim Courier

To be happy in this world, first you need a cell phone
and then you need an airplane.
Then you're truly wireless.
- Ted Turner

When the weight of the paper equals the weight of the airplane,
only then you can go flying.
- Donald Wills Douglas

To invent an airplane is nothing.
To build one is something.
But to fly is everything.
- Otto Lilienthal

As we have seen, the wireless and the airplane have
made the world so small and nations so dependent on
each other that the only alternative to war is the
United States of the World.
- John Boyd Orr

If we did not have such a thing as an airplane today,
we would probably create something the size of N.A.S.A.
to make one.
- Ross Perot

As one gets older, it happens that in the morning one
fails to remember the airplane trip to be taken in
a few hours or the lecture scheduled for the afternoon.
- Rudolf Arnheim

Coffee on an airplane always smells bad.
Whenever it is served, suddenly the whole cabin stinks of it.
- Jonathan Carroll

Any time I'm in a moving thing, like an airplane,
I'm usually asleep before we even get on our way.
- Garth Brooks

I learned to fly an airplane, and had my own airplane during the 1960s.
- Douglass North

When that second airplane hit the building,
we all changed.
We need to get back to some serious thinking.
- Steven Tyler

Sadly, I am not able to take part in the fieldwork myself so much anymore,
as both of my legs were amputated following an airplane crash twelve years ago.
- Richard Leakey

Let's take flight simulation as an example.
If you're trying to train a pilot, you can simulate almost the whole course.
You don't have to get in an airplane until late in the process.
- Roy Romer

The term 'serious actor' is kind of an oxymoron,
isn't it? Like 'Republican party' or 'airplane food.'
- Johnny Depp

Before marriage, many couples are very much like people
rushing to catch an airplane;
once aboard,
they turn into passengers.
They just sit there.
- Paul Getty

No operational commander should have to assign a soldier
a task that could be done as well by a computer,
a remote sensor, or an unmanned airplane.
- Richard Perle

We're constantly buying airplane tickets;
we travel on the Concorde.
- Eva Herzigova

We went on stage with the Jefferson Airplane,
Jim started singing with Grace Slick and hugging her.
Then he danced off the stage, went back into the dressing
room and passed out cold.
- Ray Manzarek

Oldtimers, weekends, and airplane landings are alike.
If you can walk away from them, they're successful.
- Casey Stengel

The people who went on that airplane were unexceptional.
- Paul Greengrass

All of the biggest technological inventions created by man -
the airplane,
the automobile, the computer - says little about his intelligence,
but speaks volumes about his laziness.
- Mark Kennedy

We have two tables on our airplane that are set up with the games.
- Steve Yzerman

My background is in physics, so I was the mission specialist,
who is sort of like the flight engineer on an airplane.
- Sally Ride

I had done a lot of rock 'n' roll photography when I was in college.
I was one of many photographers who worked for The Doors,
Jefferson Airplane, and all of these rock 'n' roll bands.
- John Dykstra

John Travolta said he sometimes lets his friends take
control of his airplane even though they don't know what they're doing.
Then Travolta said he often does the same thing with his career.
- Conan O'Brien

When I got on the airplane in Indonesia coming to Japan,
my intentions was to turn myself in to the military
for the simple reason I would like to put my daughters with their mother,
one thing.
Another thing, I'd like to clear my conscience.
- Robert Jenkins

New needs need new techniques.
And the modern artists have found new ways and new
means of making their statements...
the modern painter cannot express this age,
the airplane, the atom bomb, the radio,
in the old forms of the Renaissance or of any other past culture.
- Jackson Pollock

I was always afraid of dying.
Always.
It was my fear that made me learn everything I could
about my airplane and my emergency equipment,
and kept me flying respectful of my machine and always alert in the cockpit.
- Chuck Yeager

Yesterday NPR fired me for telling the truth.
The truth is that I worry when I am getting on an airplane
and see people dressed in garb that identifies them
first and foremost as Muslims.
This is not a bigoted statement.
It is a statement of my feelings, my fears after the
terrorist attacks of 9/11 by radical Muslims.
- Juan Williams

As I have tried to show, science, in producing the
airplane and the wireless,
has created a new international political environment
to which governments must adjust their foreign policies.
- John Boyd Orr

Cutting the deficit by gutting our investments in innovation
and education is like lightening an overloaded airplane by removing its engine.
It may make you feel like you're flying high at first,
but it won't take long before you feel the impact.
- Barack Obama

Most pilots learn, when they pin on their wings and
go out and get in a fighter,
especially, that one thing you don't do,
you don't believe anything anybody tells you about an airplane.
- Chuck Yeager

The pilot looked at his cues of attitude and speed
and orientation and so on and responded as he would
from the same cues in an airplane,
but there was no way it flew the same.
The simulators had showed us that.
- Alan Shepard

I'm carded for R-rated movies.
And I get talked down to a lot.
When I try to go rent a car or buy an airplane ticket
or other stuff adults do,
I get 'Okaaaaaay, honey.' I remember when I was 18,
getting crayons in a restaurant.
- Kristen Bell

Chevy Chase and Bill Murray - we thought those guys were funny.
We love Bill Murray, but we didn't think they were right for Airplane!
because it would step on the joke if there was a known comedian.
- David Zucker

If you take one rivet out of an airplane,
it will be all right, it'll keep flying.
You take another rivet out of the airplane and it still flies.
So what the heck, let's take more rivets out of the airplane,
and sooner or later, the airplane drops from the sky.
- Ted Danson

I wanted it not to be true.
I wanted it not to be her plane.
I wanted it - I wanted, if it was her plane,
to have somehow survived because she was in the back of the airplane.
But we know that doesn't happen, not with those sorts of things.
- Ted Olson

The next night I got on an airplane,
and flew to New York and looked into acting schools.
Four or five acting schools.
One of which was the Neighborhood Playhouse,
which I started at six months there after.
- Dabney Coleman

So I'm more at home with my backpack,
sleeping in a hotel room or on a bus or on an airplane,
than I am necessarily on a bed.
It's weird being here.
It feels like I'm standing next to my real life.
- Henry Rollins

Touring is tough.
You're almost in a haze because you don't really know
where you are half the time:
You're in a hotel room one moment,
and the next thing you know, you're onstage performing for 60,000 people,
then you're back on an airplane.
It's very hectic and I couldn't do it without my family.
- Vanessa Hudgens

It defies common sense that stores are fined for selling toy guns to children,
but someone who isn't even allowed to board an airplane
in this country can purchase as many real guns he wants with no questions asked.
- Carolyn McCarthy

We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away.
That's cowardly.
Staying in the airplane when it hits the building,
say what you want about it, it's not cowardly.
- Bill Maher

But if you really want to get involved in making a difference,
you can stay at home with your family and have a job
and make a reasonable living without having to be on
an airplane all of the time,
then you ought to go back home and run for School Board.
- Birch Bayh

Quentin wanted to create this special world in which
everybody walks around with a samurai sword,
extras in the airport, a special little place in the
airplane to stick your samurai sword.
- David Carradine

The thing is helicopters are different from airplanes
An airplane by it's nature wants to fly,
and if not interfered with too strongly by unusual
events or incompetent piloting,
it will fly.
- Harry Reasoner

In Germany air became generally accepted Berlin in this area.
It operated with 45 airplanes within the Low Cost range from Germany,
and is one the most successful carriers in Europe.
- Niki Lauda

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets.
It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.
- Jean Kerr

I realized that If I had to choose, I would rather
have birds than airplanes.
- Charles Lindbergh

I thought that automobiles were going to have mufflers
and go fast and airplanes were going to fly fast.
- Jack Vance

There are aphorisms that, like airplanes,
stay up only while they are in motion.
- Vladimir Nabokov

I jump out of perfectly good airplanes,
and it's a great thrill and it allows me to share in
the dangers that our great men and women in uniform
share in on a regular basis.
- Hugh Shelton

My wife had taken off on a plane.
Two airplanes had crashed into the World Trade Center.
I, of course, like any other person,
felt potentially devastated,
panicky a little bit.
- Ted Olson

I want to bring passengers on my airplanes to present to them my product.
- Niki Lauda

My movies were the kind they show in prisons and airplanes,
because nobody can leave.
- Burt Reynolds

My dad served in two wars has been flying airplanes for 60 years now.
He was certainly quite an inspiration.
- John L. Phillips

If I had to choose, I would rather have birds than airplanes.
- Charles Lindbergh

Later, in the early teens, I used to ride my bike every
Saturday morning to the nearest airport,
ten miles away, push airplanes in and out of the hangars,
and clean up the hangars.
- Alan Shepard

All my life, I've never been able to get enough airplanes.
This will keep me flying every day.
- Hoot Gibson

These airplanes we have today are no more than a perfection
of a child's toy made of paper.
- Henri Coanda

Everything from airplanes to kitchen blenders and even
chopsticks comes with an instruction manual.
Children, despite all their complexity,
do not.
- Lawrence Kutner

The century of airplanes has a right to its own music.
- Claude Debussy


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.