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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Living Quotes
Funny Quotes about Living

Let these funny Living Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

I used to sell furniture for a living.
The trouble was, it was my own.
- Les Dawson

People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel


 

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

Science is a wonderful thing
if one does not have to earn one's living at it.
- Albert Einstein


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Human beings are the only creatures on the planet
who tell time and think they have to earn a living.
- Buckminster Fuller

"Just living is not enough," said the butterfly,
"one must have sunshine, freedom and a little flower."
- Hans Christian Andersen

Simple living is the way to happy living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is lived in the living.
Set aside convention, caution,
and arbitrary "rules" about how
life is supposed to be lived.
Choose! Explore! Adventure!
Live life to the fullest.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I cannot persuade myself that a
beneficent and omnipotent God
would have designedly created parasitic wasps
with the express intention of their feeding
within the living bodies of caterpillars.
- Charles Darwin

I am one with the Earth,
with the Water, with the Fire,
with the Air that I breathe,
with all Living Things,
and we are all one with Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our Joy comes from living our own lives simply -
never from demanding that others live simply -
or from ever making any demands whatsoever upon others.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Hell is living with someone who complains, whines, and argues.
- Anonymous

There is no passion to be found playing small -
in settling for a life that is less
than the one you are capable of living.
- Nelson Mandela

With the past, I have nothing to do;
nor with the future. I live now.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The shoe that fits one person pinches another;
there is no recipe for living that suits all cases.
- Carl Jung

Religion has convinced people that there's an invisible man
... living in the sky. Who watches everything you do
every minute of every day. And the invisible man
has a list of ten specific things he doesn't want you to do.
And if you do any of these things,
he will send you to a special place, of burning and fire
and smoke and torture and anguish for you to live forever,
and suffer, and suffer, and burn, and scream,
until the end of time. But he loves you. He loves you.
He loves you and he needs money.
- George Carlin

Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed.
Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute
with love, grace, and gratitude.
- Denis Waitley

Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live,
it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
- Oscar Wilde

The Paradox Of Living In The Moment is -
How To Be Happy Today AND Prepare For Tomorrow
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

How could youths better learn to live
than by at once trying the experiment of living?
- Henry David Thoreau

We are always getting ready to live but never living.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dreams pass into the reality of action.
From the actions stems the dream again;
and this interdependence produces the highest form of living.
- Anais Nin

Recognize that "suffering is optional," and develop daily habits
that support living a joyful and productive life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Freedom is never dear at any price.
It is the breath of life.
What would a man not pay for living?
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

History never looks like history when you are living through it.
- John W. Gardner

John Dalton's records, carefully preserved for a century,
were destroyed during the World War II bombing of Manchester.
It is not only the living who are killed in war.
- Isaac Asimov

I serve to others by living happily,
and radiating happiness and joy to those around me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Society honors its living conformists and its dead troublemakers.
- Mignon McLaughlin

If we don't change, we don't grow.
If we don't grow, we aren't really living.
- Gail Sheehy

A little simplification would be
the first step toward rational living.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

My life is for living, not for worry or doubt,
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I do not bring forgiveness with me, nor forgetfulness.
The only ones who can forgive are dead;
the living have no right to forget.
- Chaim Herzog

I have an almost religious zeal...
not for technology per se, but for the Internet which is for me,
the nervous system of mother Earth, which I see as a living creature,
linking up.
- Dan Millman

I take care of my flowers and my cats.
And enjoy food.
And that's living.
- Ursula Andress

Embrace your uniqueness.
Time is much too short to be
living someone else's life.
- Kobi Yamada

It is absolutely imperative that we protect,
preserve and pass on this genetic heritage for man
and every other living thing in as good a condition as we received it.
- David R. Brower

It is not living that matters, but living rightly.
- Socrates

Life is wasted on the living.
- Douglas Adams

Find ecstasy in life;
the mere sense of living is joy enough.
- Emily Dickinson

Life is about more than today, and more than yourself.
What will your legacy be?
What will your great-grandchildren be told about you?
Creating a legacy does not have to be a burden,
it can be your joy and can create
your satisfaction with living each day.
What kind of world do you want to leave your great-grandchildren?
What can you do today to help create that world?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I would never kill a living thing, although I probably
have inadvertently while driving automobiles.
- Don Van Vliet

Fashion is only the attempt to realize art in living
forms and social intercourse.
- Francis Bacon

Scientific theory is a contrived foothold in the chaos of living phenomena.
- Wilhelm Reich

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau

We make a living by what we get.
We make a life by what we give.
- Winston Churchill

Anyone who attempts to generate random numbers by deterministic means is,
of course, living in a state of sin.
- John von Neumann

Our task must be to free ourselves by widening
our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures
and the whole of nature and its beauty.
- Albert Einstein

My greatest service to others is living happily,
and radiating happiness and joy to those around me.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Trust is to human relationships what faith is to gospel living.
It is the beginning place, the foundation upon which more can be built.
Where trust is, love can flourish.
- Barbara Smith

The dead cannot cry out for justice.
It is a duty of the living to do so for them.
- Lois McMaster Bujold

Computing is not about computers any more.
It is about living.
- Nicholas Negroponte

My imagination can picture no fairer happiness than
to continue living for art.
- Clara Schumann

Everyone is born a genius,
but the process of living de-geniuses them.
- R. Buckminster Fuller

The educated differ from the uneducated
as much as the living from the dead.
- Aristotle

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give
ourselves the gift of living well.
- Voltaire

Dying is easy, it's living that scares me to death.
- Annie Lennox

I followed the same diet for 20 years,
eliminating starches, living on salads,
lean meat, and small portions.
- Gene Tierney

If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I get to play golf for a living.
What more can you ask for - getting paid for doing what you love.
- Tiger Woods

A consistent state of Serenity and Compassion
is living an Inspired Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Apathy is a sort of living oblivion.
- Horace Greeley

I sit on my duff, smoke cigarettes and watch TV.
I'm not exactly a poster girl for healthy living.
- Lexa Doig

If you're totally illiterate and living on one dollar a day,
the benefits of globalization never come to you.
- Jimmy Carter

We seem to have a compulsion these days to bury time
capsules in order to give those people living in the
next century or so some idea of what we are like.
- Alfred Hitchcock

Your time is limited,
so don't waste it living someone else's life.
- Steve Jobs

Today, try something you have never tried before.
Perhaps just a food that is new to you -
perhaps a whole new way of living.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Living never wore one out
so much as the effort not to live.
- Anais Nin

Teenagers who are never required to vacuum are living in one.
- Fred G. Gosman


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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