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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Down Quotes
Funny Quotes about Down

Let these funny Down Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

I wear a necklace, cause I wanna know when I'm upside down.
- Mitch Hedberg


 

Crazy is walking down the street
with half a cantaloupe on your head,
muttering; "I'm a hamster, I'm a hamster."
- the movie Spy Hard (1996)

The key is, to not think of death as an end,
but as more of a very effective way to cut down on your expenses.
- the movie Love and Death

When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor


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Life is like a roller coaster - scream Whee... on the way down,
and let the momentum carry you back up the next hill.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

I am fond of pigs.
Dogs look up to us.
Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.
- Winston Churchill

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

A little girl at the wedding afterwards asked her mother
why the bride changed her mind.
What do you mean? responded her mother.
Well, she went down the aisle with one man,
and came back with another.
- Anonymous

When life is like a slippery downhill slope,
go skiing and scream Whee... all the way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Soon we'll be out amid the cold world's strife.
Soon we'll be sliding down the razor blade of life.
But as we go our sordid sep'rate ways,
We shall ne'er forget thee, thou golden college days.
Hearts full of youth,
Hearts full of truth,
Six parts gin to one part vermouth.
- Tom Lehrer - song: Bright College Days,
album: An Evening Wasted With Tom Lehrer

The God of Children and Fools:
There once was a man way up high,
who sat on his chair in the sky.
he called down to fool us,
and said he would rule us,
until we woke up bye and bye.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't live down to expectations.
Go out there and do something remarkable.
- Wendy Wasserstein

Man should forget his anger before he lies down to sleep.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel

Shake structures.
School yourself.
Look twice at a thing,
once upside down.
Answer yourself clearly.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves.
But deep down below the surface of the average conscience
a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune.
- Carl Jung

Habit is habit,
and not to be flung out of the window by any man,
but coaxed down-stairs a step at a time.
- Mark Twain

Remember that life is an ADVENTURE, and cheer Whee...
all the way down the slippery razor-blade of life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Farewell My Friend
It was beautiful as long as it lasted
The journey of my life.
I have no regrets whatsoever
save the pain I'll leave behind.
Those dear hearts who love and care...
And the strings pulling at the heart and soul...
The strong arms that held me up
When my own strength let me down.
At every turning of my life
I came across good friends,
Friends who stood by me,
Even when the time raced me by.
Farewell, farewell my friends
I smile and bid you goodbye.
No, shed no tears for I need them not
All I need is your smile.
If you feel sad do think of me
for that's what I'll like
when you live in the hearts
of those you love, remember then
you never die.
- Gitanjali Ghei

Banks have a new image.
Now you have 'a friend,' your friendly banker.
If the banks are so friendly, how come they chain down the pens?
- Alan King

Don't let your ego get too close to your position,
so that if your position gets shot down,
your ego doesn't go with it.
- Colin Powell

One of the most feared expressions in modern times
is 'The computer is down.'
- Norman Ralph Augustine

Well, when you come down to it,
I don't see that a reporter could do much to a president, do you?
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I wrap the potential for bitterness,
resentment, martyrdom in the blanket of forgiveness
and just set it down.
Then it just melts in the warmth. And goes away.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Washington is a place where politicians don't know
which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.
- Robert Orben

There's a lot of music that sounds like it's literally computer-generated,
totally divorced from a guy sitting down at an instrument.
- Aimee Mann

I got up with my wife, I sat down at the computer when she went to work,
and I didn't stop until she got home.
- George Stephen

I'm 86 and my doctor used to tell me to slow down -
at least he did until he dropped dead.
- Cesar Romero

Take time today to appreciate beauty -
natural beauty, art, people.
Slow down, breathe deeply, smile.
It's a beautiful world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

There is only one boss.
The customer.
And he can fire everybody in the company from the chairman on down,
simply by spending his money somewhere else.
- Sam Walton

The man who has done his level best...
is a success, even though the world may write him down a failure.
- B. C. Forbes

Neither a wise man nor a brave man lies down
on the tracks of history
to wait for the train of the future to run over him.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose
petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo.
- Don Marquis

I wouldn't hunt a person down for food.
But if he were already dead.
- Yasmine Bleeth

Hunker down.
- Anonymous

Golf is a game in which you yell "fore,"
shoot six,
and write down five.
- Paul Harvey

I was a dog in a past life.
Really.
I'll be walking down the street and dogs will do a sort of double take.
Like, Hey, I know him.
- William H. Macy

Once in a while I'll get moved to do some exercise.
It's something I long for but the biggest problem is
bending down and putting my tennis shoes on.
Once I go out I'm OK.
- David Soul

Love your Neighbor; yet don't pull down your Hedge.
- Benjamin Franklin

It is by going down into the abyss
that we recover the treasures of life.
Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.
- Joseph Campbell

I think the cost of energy will come down when we make
this transition to renewable energy.
- Al Gore

You're just left with yourself all the time,
whatever you do anyway.
You've got to get down to your
own God in your own temple.
It's all down to you, mate.
- John Lennon

I'd just as soon play tennis with the net down.
- Robert Frost

There is nothing deep down inside us except what we
have put there ourselves.
- Richard Rorty

Don't lie down. Get up.
- Bono

You're standing on the threshold of success.
Don't look down, it'll make you dizzy.
- the character Timothy Q. Mouse in the Walt Disney movie Dumbo

A truly good book teaches me better than to read it.
I must soon lay it down, and commence living on its hint.
What I began by reading, I must finish by acting.
- Henry David Thoreau

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

Lighten up! Slow down the shopping.
Your greatest gift to your family and friends is yourself -
your relaxed, happy, and fully-present self.
Consider gifting hand-made cards with messages
of true appreciation in place of store-bought presents.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I concentrate on exercises from the waist down,
since that is the laziest part of a woman's body.
- Tina Louise

Give me six hours to chop down a tree
and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe.
- Abraham Lincoln

Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo,
but what you want is someone who will take the bus with you
when the limo breaks down.
- Oprah Winfrey

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas.
If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats.
- Howard Aiken

I remember when the candle shop burned down.
Everyone stood around singing 'Happy Birthday.'
- Steven Wright

Every few seconds it changes - up an eighth,
down an eighth -it's like playing a slot machine.
I lose $20 million, I gain $20 million.
- Ted Turner

I've worked too hard and too long to let anything stand in the way of my goals.
I will not let my teammates down and I will not let myself down.
- Mia Hamm

It's not whether you get knocked down;
it's whether you get back up.
- Vince Lombardi

Food is your body's fuel.
Without fuel, your body wants to shut down.
- Ken Hill

A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance,
and to turn around three times before lying down.
- Robert Benchley

I still get wildly enthusiastic about little things...
I play with leaves.
I skip down the street and run against the wind.
- Leo Buscaglia

Increase of material comforts,
it may be generally laid down,
does not in any way whatsoever
conduce to moral growth.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses,
for you only get to play one round.
- Ben Hogan

A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.