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Let these funny Charles M. Schulz Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
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That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie 
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)
I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner
Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain
If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill
You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous
Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash
Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon
The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett
No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln
The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous
Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde
The true meaning of life is to plant trees,
under whose shade you do not expect to sit.
- Nelson Henderson
One can never consent to creep when one feels the impulse to soar.
- Helen Keller
Am I not destroying my enemies
when I make friends of them?
- Abraham Lincoln
The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
Man is a credulous animal, and must believe something;
in the absence of good grounds for belief,
he will be satisfied with bad ones.
- Bertrand Russell
Take time to play!
Ask for what you want.
Laugh.
Live loudly.
Be avid.
Learn a new thing.
Be Yourself!
- Mary Anne Radmacher
Life is not supposed to be fair.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is a succession of lessons
which must be lived to be understood.
- Helen Keller
The essence of life is not in
the great victories and grand failures,
but in the simple joys.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Success is failure recycled.
Life is death reborn.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
It is a truth universally acknowledged that
when one part of your life starts going okay,
another falls spectacularly to pieces.
- the movie Bridget Jones Diary
You don't have the power to make life "fair,"
but you do have the power to make life joyful.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Do you feel stuck?
Whether in a project, a job, a relationship,
or some other situation,
there is a time for perseverance,
and a time for letting go and moving on.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates.
You never know what you're gonna get.
- the movie Forrest Gump
The power of man has grown in every sphere, except over himself.
- Winston Churchill
Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer
but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong
A common denominator of all religions is that
they have the power to bring out the best and the worst in people.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is without meaning.
You bring the meaning to it.
The meaning of life is
whatever you ascribe it to be.
Being alive is the meaning.
- Joseph Campbell
She generally gave herself very good advice,
(though she very seldom followed it).
- Lewis Carroll
Knavery and flattery are blood relations.
- Abraham Lincoln
I Dream This Day of Wondrous Things,
of Peace and Hope and Pride.
I Dance My Dance with Life Today,
I'm Filled with Love Inside.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
A big part of letting go is recognizing
when it is time to stay in a situation
and when it is time to move on.
- Darren L. Johnson
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
It is hard enough to remember my opinions,
without also remembering my reasons for them!
- Friedrich Nietzsche
The book of life is filled with incoherent riddles.
Life's true lessons are inscribed in a corner of the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca
All diseases run into one - old age.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.