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Charles M. Schulz Quotes
Funny Quotes by Charles M. Schulz

Let these funny Charles M. Schulz Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.

Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz

I have a new philosophy.
I'm only going to dread one day at a time.
- Charles M. Schulz

Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic


 

I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz

Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz


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No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

That's the secret to life . . .
replace one worry with another.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

Praying is important when you wake up
at two o'clock in the morning
feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts

The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown

In the book of life, the answers aren't in the back.
- Charles M. Schulz in his Peanuts cartoon

I've developed a new philosophy...
I only dread one day at a time.
- the character Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic

Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon

Decorate your home.
It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.
- Charles M. Schulz

I think I've discovered the secret of life -
you just hang around until you get used to it.
- Charles M. Schulz

Jogging is very beneficial.
It's good for your legs and your feet.
It's also very good for the ground.
If makes it feel needed.
- Charles M. Schulz

Aunt Marion was right...
Never marry a musician, and never answer the door.
- Charles M. Schulz

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.
- Charles M. Schulz

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today.
It is already tomorrow in Australia.
- Charles M. Schulz

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation,
it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.
- Charles M. Schulz

There is no problem so big it cannot be run away from.
- Charles M. Schulz

A whole stack of memories never equal one little hope.
- Charles M. Schulz

Yesterday I was a dog.
Today I'm a dog.
Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog.
Sigh!
There's so little hope for advancement.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life is like an ice-cream cone, you have to lick it one day at a time.
- Charles M. Schulz

You're a good man, Charlie Brown.
- Charles M. Schulz

It doesn't matter what you believe just so long as you're sincere.
- Charles M. Schulz

Try not to have a good time...
this is supposed to be educational.
- Charles M. Schulz

There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.
- Charles M. Schulz

My life has no purpose, no direction,
no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy.
I can't figure it out.
What am I doing right?
- Charles M. Schulz

No problem is too big to run away from.
- Charles M. Schulz

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall PHOTO

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie PHOTO

The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec

It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble.
It's what you know for sure that just ain't so.
- Mark Twain (attributed)

The trick is growing up without growing old.
- Casey Stengel

Life's like Vegas. You're up, you're down,
but in the end the house always wins.
Doesn't mean you didn't have fun.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Life is defined more by its contrasts than its samenesses;
Life is defined more by its risks than the many securities.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

You can't make an omelet without breaking eggs.
- Anonymous

One does not leave a convivial party before closing time.
- Winston Churchill

Old age is fifteen years older than I am.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

The most difficult phase of life
is not when no one understands you,
it is when you don't understand yourself.
- Anonymous

Life only
appears to be
rushing toward us
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The difference between school and life?
In school, you're taught a lesson and then given a test.
In life, you're given a test that teaches you a lesson.
- Tom Bodett

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
- Oscar Wilde

To the young child, all life is a great adventure -
when did we grow so dull and brittle.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born
at the age of eighty and gradually approach eighteen.
- Mark Twain

Life is always lived in the eye-of-the-storm
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is serious, get out your magic wand.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.
- Ogden Nash

Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain

Life is a journey - enjoy the journey.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans.
- John Lennon

No matter how much cats fight,
there always seem to be plenty of kittens.
- Abraham Lincoln

Live life on the edge, not with an edge.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Play with life, laugh with life,
dance lightly with life,
and smile at the riddles of life,
knowing that life's only true lessons
are writ small in the margin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The essence of all religions is one.
Only their approaches are different.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Smoking kills.
If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
- Brooke Shields

Some things will never seem adequate
no matter how hard we try.
- from the movie White Man's Burden

Two things a man should never be angry at:
what he can help,
and what he cannot help.
- Thomas Fuller

We have a great life here in Alaska,
and we're never going back to America again!
- The Simpsons Movie (2007)

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is really simple,
but we insist on making it complicated.
- Confucius

Stay Happy, never let anyone get your goat.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle,
and the life of the candle will not be shortened.
Happiness never decreases by being shared.
- The Buddha

Every man prefers belief to the exercise of judgment.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

Most men lead lives of quiet desperation
and go to the grave with the song still in them.
- Henry David Thoreau


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.