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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Last Quotes
Funny Quotes about Last

Let these funny Last Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous PHOTO

(Groom), take (Bride)'s hand and place your hand over hers.
Now, remember this moment and cherish it...
because this will be the last time you ever have the upper hand.
- Anonymous

When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland


 

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.
- Samuel Butler

Men always want to be a woman's first love -
women like to be a man's last romance.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriages don't last. When I meet a guy,
the first question I ask myself is:
is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?
- Rita Rudner


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Everyone has his day and some days last longer than others.
- Winston Churchill

"Appeasement" is the policy of feeding your friends to a crocodile,
one at a time, in hopes that the crocodile will eat you last.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
- Isaac Asimov

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.
- Oscar Wilde

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

Every hero becomes a bore at last.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet
and steady and loyal and enduring a nature
that it will last through a whole lifetime,
if not asked to lend money.
- Mark Twain

In boundless love as a Christian and as a man
I read through the passage which tells us
how the Lord at last rose in His might
and seized the scourge to drive out of the Temple
the brood of vipers and of adders.
- Adolph Hitler

Grin your smile; giggle your laugh; unfurl your joy;
dash the last trace of your self-consciousness;
and cavort your most uninhibited play.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

When we step on the battlefield, I will be
The First Boots On and the Last Boots Off.
- LtG. Hal Moore

Listen to the cry of a woman in labor at the hour of giving birth -
look at the dying man's struggle at his last extremity,
and then tell me whether something that begins and ends thus
could be intended for enjoyment.
- Soren Kierkegaard

I've learned that you should always
leave loved ones with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.
- Anonymous

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect.
If it's not based on respect,
nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
- Amy Grant

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men
who walked through the huts comforting others,
giving away their last piece of bread...
They offer sufficient proof that everything
can be taken from a man but one thing:
to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances,
to choose one's own way.
- Viktor E. Frankl

To be able to fill leisure intelligently is the last product of civilization.
- Arnold J. Toynbee

Dreams are true while they last, and do we not live in dreams?
- Alfred Lord Tennyson

After much prayerful consideration, I feel that I must
say I have climbed my last political mountain.
- George C. Wallace

The school is the last expenditure upon which America
should be willing to economize.
- Franklin D. Roosevelt

You have a row of dominoes set up;
you knock over the first one,
and what will happen to the last one
is that it will go over very quickly.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Non-violence is the first article of my faith.
It is also the last article of my creed.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I
think everything will be alright.
- Alice Thomas Ellis

The wise does at once what the fool does at last.
- Baltasar Gracian

An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile,
hoping it will eat him last.
- Winston Churchill

I can not believe that war
is the best solution.
No one won the last war,
and no one will win the next war.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

"Good morning!" he said at last.
"We don't want any adventures here, thank you!
You might try over The Hill or across The Water."
- J. R. R. Tolkien

There is only one difference between a long life and a good dinner:
that,
in the dinner, the sweets come last.
- Robert Louis Stevenson

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with,
but whether it is the same problem you had last year.
- John Foster Dulles

Who were you before you put yourself last.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Forgive and give as if it were your last opportunity.
Love like there's no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.
- Max Lucado

If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Tough times never last but tough people do.
- Robert H. Schuller

No face which we can give to a matter
will stead us so well at last as the truth.
This alone wears well.
- Henry David Thoreau

The telephone is a 100-year-old technology.
It's time for a change.
Charging for phone calls is something you did last century.
- Niklas Zennstrom

Nothing is at last sacred, but the integrity of your own mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I'm an advocate of the great Dr. Johnson, the English
man of letters who said that patriotism was the last refuge of the scoundrel.
- George Galloway

Look at everything as though you were seeing it
either for the first or last time.
Then your time on earth will be filled with glory.
- Betty Smith

As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life
when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.
- Fran Lebowitz

What we've gone through in the last several years has
caused some people to question 'Can we trust Microsoft?'
- Steve Ballmer

We are not the same persons this year as last;
nor are those we love.
It is a happy chance if we, changing,
continue to love a changed person.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Habits are cobwebs at first, cables at last.
- Chinese proverb

When you are in any contest,
you should work as if there were -
to the very last minute - a chance to lose it.
This is battle, this is politics, this is anything.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

When was the last time you took
a different route to work ... just because?
Consider shaking up your life a little (or a lot) ...
for no reason, except to do it.
Let your life be an adventure.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We have the power to make this the best generation of mankind
in the history of the world or to make it the last.
- John F. Kennedy

In all science, error precedes the truth,
and it is better it should go first than last.
- Hugh Walpole

The strongest reason for the people
to retain the right to keep and bear arms is,
as a last resort, to protect themselves
against tyranny in government.
- Thomas Jefferson

My dream is of a place and a time where America
will once again be seen as the last best hope of earth.
- Abraham Lincoln

Today is the first and last day of forever.
- Edward, from Twilight saga by Stephenie Meyer

Most people give up just when
they're about to achieve success.
They quit on the one yard line.
They give up at the last minute of the game,
one foot from a winning touch down.
- Ross Perot

Occasionally I have come across a last patch of snow
on top of a mountain in late May or June.
There's something very powerful about finding snow in summer.
- Andy Goldsworthy

For every person who has ever lived there has come,
at last, a spring he will never see.
Glory then in the springs that are yours.
- Pam Brown

People often say that motivation doesn't last.
Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily.
- Zig Ziglar

The day which we fear as our last is but the birthday of eternity.
- Lucius Annaeus Seneca

The Vice-Presidency is sort of like the last cookie on the plate.
Everybody insists he won't take it, but somebody always does.
- Bill Vaughan

Designs of purely arbitrary nature cannot be expected to last long.
- Kenzo Tange

In rivers, the water that you touch
is the last of what has passed
and the first of that which comes;
so with present time.
- Leonardo da Vinci

The first responsibility of a leader is to define reality.
The last is to say thank you.
In between, the leader is a servant.
- Max de Pree

Endings: sometimes a season of sorrow and grief.
Endings: what must precede new beginnings.
Life is an endless cycle of endings and beginnings.
Renewal and rebirth cannot occur without endings -
as the new year's crop can only be planted and flourish
in the decay of last year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

World War II was the last government program that really worked.
- George Will

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man will never be free until the last king is strangled
with the entrails of the last priest.
- Denis Diderot

During his training, a baseball player strives
to make each swing better than the last.
The repetition of a faulty swing would be worse than useless.
It would ingrain bad habits.
The same is true of emotional responses.
If we allow ourselves to continue to have the same angry responses,
we just entrench our anger habit.
But if we strive - through consciousness, visualization, and coaching -
to moderate our anger response,
over time, we can train ourselves to respond
to events as we choose - without anger.
You can't magically be free from anger tomorrow,
but you can put yourself on your own training program
that will reduce the frequency and intensity
of your anger response day by day, year by year.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To attain inner peace you must actually give your life,
not just your possessions.
When you at last give your life - bringing into alignment
your beliefs and the way you live then,
and only then, can you begin to find inner peace.
- Peace Pilgrim

Some men give up their designs when they have almost reached the goal;
While others,
on the contrary, obtain a victory by exerting,
at the last moment, more vigorous efforts than ever before.
- Herodotus


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.