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Let these funny Signed Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.
I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel
Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death
When your friends begin to flatter
you on how young you look,
it's a sure sign you're getting old.
- Mark Twain
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
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Silence is not always a Sign of Wisdom,
but Babbling is ever a folly.
- Benjamin Franklin
The true sign of intelligence
is not knowledge but imagination.
- Albert Einstein
Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi
A sense of humor... is needed armor.
Joy in one's heart and some laughter on one's lips
is a sign that the person down deep
has a pretty good grasp of life.
- Hugh Sidey
If an opinion contrary to your own makes you angry,
that is a sign that you are subconsciously aware
of having no good reason for thinking as you do.
- Bertrand Russell
To accuse others for one's own misfortunes
is a sign of want of education.
To accuse oneself shows that one's education has begun.
To accuse neither oneself nor others
shows that one's education is complete.
- Epictetus
While it is natural to feel some degree of
need for the approval of others, be careful.
If you find yourself unwilling to
take actions that others disapprove of,
you have lost control of your own life
and have given your destiny to others.
An excessive need-for-approval
is a sign of low self-esteem,
and in severe cases, a condition termed co-dependency.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
No one has been barred on account of his race
from fighting or dying for America,
there are no white or colored signs
on the foxholes or graveyards of battle.
- John F. Kennedy
From behind the Iron Curtain, there are signs that tyranny
is in trouble and reminders that its structure
is as brittle as its surface is hard.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower
The signs of outstanding leadership
appear primarily among the followers.
Are the followers reaching their potential?
Are they learning? Serving?
Do they achieve the required results?
Do they change with grace? Manage conflict?
- Max De Pree
Nothing is more important in our national life
than the welfare of our children.
- Harry S. Truman (when signing the National School Lunch Act in 1946)
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living;
the world owes you nothing; it was here first.
- Mark Twain
Gossip is the art of saying nothing
in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.
- Walter Winchell
Always forgive your enemies -
nothing annoys them so much.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing makes the earth seem so spacious
as to have friends at a distance;
they make the latitudes and the longitudes.
- Henry David Thoreau
Nothing echoes like an empty mailbox.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.
- George Carlin
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter
quite like unrequited love.
- Charlie Brown in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts comic
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Nothing is more cheerful than talking
about our friends' shortcomings.
- Mason Cooley
I didn't make it all the way through third grade for nothing.
- the movie The Rescuers Down Under
What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists?
In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.
- Woody Allen
There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else
The man who reads nothing at all
is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers.
- Thomas Jefferson
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
The universe we observe has precisely
the properties we should expect
if there is, at bottom, no design,
no purpose, no evil, no good,
nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.
- Charles Darwin
The Christian missionary may preach the gospel
to the poor naked heathen,
but the spiritual heathen who populate Europe
have as yet heard nothing of Christianity.
- Carl Jung
I think that there is nothing, not even crime,
more opposed to poetry, to philosophy, ay, to life itself
than this incessant business.
- Henry David Thoreau
Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer
Nothing in life is to be feared.
It is only to be understood.
- Marie Curie
There is no pleasure in having nothing to do;
the fun is in having lots to do and not doing it.
- Mary Wilson Little
Manners require time, and nothing is more vulgar than haste.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
Nothing is as good for the soul as a marshmallow roast.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Today is probably a good day for something;
but it's a better day for doing nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller
It is sad but unfortunately true that
man learns nothing from history.
- Carl Jung
A fashion is nothing but an induced epidemic.
- George Bernard Shaw
A cynic is a man who knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
- Oscar Wilde
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
- John Lennon
Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say,
abstains from giving us wordy evidence of the fact.
- George Eliot
The third certainty of life, after death and taxes,
is that nothing will work out the way you want.
Life is fully as bad as you think it is.
Choose to live joyfully anyway.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing,
of just going along,
listening to all the things you can't hear,
and not bothering.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Fully experience THIS moment -
breathe in, breathe out - nothing more.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
"Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare,
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
- Percy Bysshe Shelley
Believe nothing, no matter where you read it,
or who said it, no matter if I have said it,
unless it agrees with your own reason
and your own common sense.
- The Buddha
There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.
- Albert Einstein
The only thing necessary for evil to triumph
is for enough good men to do nothing.
- Edmund Burke
Nothing you do for a child is ever wasted.
- Garrison Keillor
Where There is Love, Nothing is Missing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)
I say NO to the demands of the world.
I say YES to the longings of my own heart.
There is nothing I ever need to have.
There is nothing I ever need to do.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Being unwanted, unloved, uncared for, forgotten by everybody,
I think that is a much greater hunger,
a much greater poverty than the person who has nothing to eat.
- Mother Teresa
Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known.
- Michel de Montaigne
There is nothing more depressing,
than having everything,
and still feeling sad.
- Janet Jackson
Trust in the Light.
Darkness is not a force -
it is merely the absence of light.
Observe that when a light is brought to a dark place,
the darkness disappears.
Sadness is similar -
when joy is brought to suffering,
the sadness disappears.
Open yourself to the Light!
Hold back nothing,
Trust in the Light.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Nothing others do is because of you.
What others say and do is a projection of their own reality.
- don Miguel Ruiz
People say nothing is impossible, but I do nothing every day.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)
Nothing is more despicable than respect based on fear.
- Albert Camus
Nothing strengthens authority so much as silence.
- Leonardo da Vinci
Nothing other people do is because of you.
It is because of themselves
- don Miguel Ruiz
I was born on the prairies where the wind blew free
and there was nothing to break the light of the sun.
I was born where there were no enclosures.
- Geronimo
I'd rather have thirty minutes of wonderful
than a lifetime of nothing special.
- the movie Steel Magnolias
If anyone is unhappy, remember that
his unhappiness is his own fault...
Nothing else is the cause of anxiety or loss of tranquility
except our own opinion.
- Epictetus
Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood.
Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.
- Marie Curie
Nothing makes us so lonely as our secrets.
- Paul Tournier
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.