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Funny Had Quotes
Funny Quotes about Had

Let these funny Had Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

I never accepted the idea
that I had to be guided by
some pattern or blueprint.
- Little Richard

My Father had a profound influence on me.
He was a lunatic.
- Spike Milligan

Brought up to respect the conventions,
love had to end in marriage.
I'm afraid it did.
- Bette Davis

My uncle Sammy was an angry man.
He had printed on his tombstone: What are you looking at?
- Margaret Smith


 

I did not have three thousand pairs of shoes,
I had one thousand and sixty.
- Imelda Marcos

When I eventually met Mr. Right
I had no idea that his first name was Always.
- Rita Rudner

I wish I had the nerve not to tip.
- Paul Lynde


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If I had known what it would be like to have it all -
I might have been willing to settle for less.
- Lily Tomlin

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Jealousy is all the fun you think they had.
- Erica Jong

If someone had told me I would be Pope one day,
I would have studied harder.
- Pope John Paul I

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Civilization had too many rules for me,
so I did my best to rewrite them.
- Bill Cosby

Everyone who got where he is,
had to begin where he was.
- Richard L. Evans

You know the only people who are always sure about
the proper way to raise children? Those who've never had any.
- Bill Cosby

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

My father and he had one of those English friendships
which begins by avoiding the intimacies
and eventually eliminates speech altogether.
- Jorge Luis Borges

I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children
is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia:
it seemed like a good idea at the time.
- Bill Cosby

I only wish that ordinary people
had an unlimited capacity for doing harm;
then they might have an unlimited power for doing good.
- Socrates

I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain

My wife and I tried two or three times in the last 40 years
to have breakfast together,
but it was so disagreeable we had to stop.
- Winston Churchill

I once had a rose named after me
and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read
the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed, but fine up against a wall.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

In every country and every age,
the priest had been hostile to Liberty.
- Thomas Jefferson

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

I am certainly not an authority on love because there
are no authorities on love,
just those who've had luck with it and those who haven't.
- Bill Cosby

Early in life I had to choose between honest arrogance
and hypocritical humility.
I chose the former and have seen no reason to change.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead

I was so jazzed about sobering up
and starting a new life;
I had to stop at a bar
to get a drink just to calm down.
- the television series Glee

I leave no trace of wings in the air,
but I am glad I have had my flight.
- Rabindranath Tagore

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant.
If we did not sometimes taste of adversity,
prosperity would not be so welcome.
- Anne Bradstreet

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant
I could hardly stand to have the old man around.
But when I got to be 21, I was astonished
at how much the old man had learned in seven years.
- Mark Twain

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

If I had no sense of humor,
I would long ago have committed suicide.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?
One would think that "life is serious" had been engraved
upon stone tablets to judge from how most lives are lived.
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
paint your rooms in bold colors,
search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
have caviar for breakfast and oatmeal for dinner,
wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I have lost my seven best friends,
which is to say that God has had mercy on me
seven times without realizing it.
He lent a friendship, took it from me, and sent me another.
- Jean Cocteau

Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart,
it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

A person isn't who they are during
the last conversation you had with them -
they're who they've been
throughout your whole relationship.
- Rainer Maria Rilke

Touch me in the morning
Then just walk away
We don't have tomorrow
But we had yesterday
- Ron Miller/Michael Masser

The soul would have no rainbow,
Had the eyes no tears.
- John Vance Cheney

Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel

What a strange world this would be if we all had the same sense of humor.
- Bern Williams

I had to stop driving my car for a while...
the tires got dizzy.
- Steven Wright

If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved,
the inquisition might have let him alone.
- Thomas Hardy

I've had two proposals since I've been a widow.
I am a wonderful catch, you know.
I have a lot of money.
- Ruth Rendell

Look at a day when you are supremely satisfied at the end.
It's not a day when you lounge around doing nothing;
it's when you've had everything to do, and you've done it.
- Margaret Thatcher

I've never really had a hobby, unless you count art,
which the IRS once told me I had to declare as a hobby
since I hadn't made money with it.
- Laurie Anderson

The bungalow had more to do with how Americans live
today than any other building that has gone remotely
by the name of architecture in our history.
- Russell Lynes

When people hear good music,
it makes them homesick for
something they never had,
and never will have.
- Edgar Watson Howe

In the long run, men hit only what they aim at.
Therefore, they had better aim at something high.
- Henry David Thoreau

I have always had a sense that we are all pretty much alone in life,
particularly in adolescence.
- Robert Cormier

I think that people want peace so much
that one of these days government had better
get out of their way and let them have it.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

It had long since come to my attention
that people of accomplishment
rarely sat back and let things happen to them.
They went out and happened to things.
- Leonardo da Vinci

I had my moments when I got very frightened that I would not recover.
- Fran Drescher

My father always used to say that when you die,
if you've got five real friends, then you've had a great life.
- Lee Iacocca

Resort is had to ridicule only when reason is against us.
- Thomas Jefferson

We thought that we had the answers,
it was the questions we had wrong.
- Bono

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been
declared impossible before they were done.
- Louis D. Brandeis

Men occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of them pick themselves up
and hurry off as if nothing had happened.
- Winston Churchill

If my father had hugged me even once,
I'd be an accountant right now.
- Ray Romano

And to get real work experience, you need a job,
and most jobs will require you to have had either real
work experience or a graduate degree.
- Donald Norman

I owe much to mother.
She had an expert's understanding, but also approached art emotionally.
- David Rockefeller

Some people wanted champagne and caviar
when they should have had beer and hot dogs.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

If a composer could say what he had to say in words
he would not bother trying to say it in music.
- Gustav Mahler

Well, I always had a chauffer, because I have never driven a car in my life.
I still can't drive.
- Bud Abbott

I had three chairs in my house;
one for solitude, two for friendship, three for society.
- Henry David Thoreau

Some of the most important conversations I've ever
had occurred at my family's dinner table.
- Bob Ehrlich

I had never been able to get a car that said how much
I cared about the environment until I drove electric.
- Alexandra Paul

Heroes do what the rest of us would do,
if only we had the courage.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The advertisers who believe in the selling power of
jingles have never had to sell anything.
- David Ogilvy

I was always shocked when I went to the doctor's office
and they did my X-ray and didn't find that I had eight
more ribs than I should have or that my blood was the color green.
- Nicolas Cage

Reminds me of my safari in Africa.
Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days
we had to live on nothing but food and water.
- W. C. Fields


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.