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Let these funny Jewel Quotes lighten up your life. And check out the humorous quotes of many more funny authors in my large collection.
People living their lives for you on TV;
They say they're better than you, and you agree.
- Jewel
I'm half alive but I feel mostly dead.
- Jewel
In case you failed to notice,
in case you failed to see,
this is my heart,
bleeding before you,
this is me down on my knees.
- Jewel
I'd rather see the world from another angle
- Jewel
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I was thinking that I might fly today.
Just to disprove all the things you say...
please be careful with me, I'm sensitive,
and I'd like to stay that way.
- Jewel
Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous,
there's really nothing to lose.
- Jewel
Maybe I could have loved you better.
Maybe you should have loved me more.
Maybe our hearts were just next in line.
Maybe everything breaks sometime.
- Jewel
Suffering is everywhere. Don't ever think it isn't.
So are miracles. Don't ever think they aren't.
- Jewel
I adore the human experience
- Jewel
Reality is what you believe it to be.
It's what you put your thought and energy into,
because your hands physically manifest thought.
So your world becomes what you feel and what you think.
- Jewel
Being part of the natural world reminds me
that innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
I have this theory - that if we're told we're bad,
then that's the only ideal we'll ever have.
- Jewel
Innocence isn't ever lost completely;
we just need to maintain our goodness to regain it.
- Jewel
Ride With the Devil.
- Jewel
Forgiveness is the needle that knows how to mend.
- Jewel
Lend your voices only to sounds of freedom,
no longer lend your strength to that
which you wish to be free from.
Fill your life with love and bravery,
and you shall live a life uncommon.
- Jewel
I will gather myself around my faith,
for light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel
Who will save your soul if you won't save you own?
- Jewel
Your life becomes what you believe.
- Jewel
I'm having a bad day. I am not size six.
My legs are not skinny as sticks,
and dammit, someone's got to pay.
I'm afraid that I can't satisfy myself
and that my happiness depends on someone else.
I feel weak, so you're gonna take the fall.
You're so shallow.
- Jewel
I'm becoming more and more myself with time.
I guess that's what grace is.
The refinement of your soul through time.
- Jewel
In silence you hear who you are becoming.
You create yourself.
- Jewel
I love the contradictions of people
- Jewel
I get bored very easily, ...
I have a voracious appetite and I do not feel alive
if I'm repeating something I'm good at.
So I'm always looking for new challenges.
- Jewel
My whole goal is to keep my spirit intact.
If that doesn't happen, none of this is worth it.
- Jewel
Love bravely, live bravely, be courageous;
there's really nothing to lose.
There's no wrong you can't make right again,
so be kinder to yourself;
have fun, take chances. There are no bounds.
- Jewel
What we call human nature in actuality is human habit.
- Jewel
The things you fear are undefeatable,
not by their nature, but by your approach.
- Jewel
Through Love and through Beauty, we achieve immortality.
- Jewel (paraphrasing Plato)
Show me a man who knows his own heart
and to him I shall belong.
- Jewel
Another day, another dollar, another war, another tower
Went up where the homeless had their home.
- Jewel
If I could tell the world just one thing
it would be we're all okay,
and not to worry cause worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these.
I won't be made useless.
I won't be idle with despair,
I will gather myself around my faith.
Light does the darkness most fear.
- Jewel
Gather yourself by the sea shore and I will love you there.
Assemble yourself with wild things,
with songs of the sparrow and sea-foam.
Let mad beauty collect itself in your eyes
and it will shine - Calling me.
For I long for a man with nests of wild things in his hair.
A man who will Kiss the Flame.
- Jewel
You have to realize: OK, I don't know how
to solve a political problem,
I don't know how to solve the pollution problem...
all I know is in my own life,
I need to figure out some sense of purpose,
I need to figure out how to be happy...
and I'm willing.
- Jewel
You always feel better when you sing.
Music touches people's hearts.
You know, it doesn't go through your mental capacity,
it just moves you and it will let you cry.
It's worth it doing a show
and when you touch a crowd
and move yourself at the same
- Jewel
There are people selling thoughtlessness with such casualty.
- Jewel
I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel
We all should choose our friends carefully.
I used to think that no one could know me better than somebody else,
because you're inside yourself, your body, you can't see yourself.
If you think like that, you surround yourself with
other people who are willing to tell you who you are,
which are usually judgmental people ...
we should really surround ourselves with the ones
that adore us and believe in the highest of us.
- Jewel
Religion is the masterpiece of the art of animal training,
for it trains people as to how they should think.
- Arthur Schopenhauer
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
Life is like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute -
only the last couple seconds are fatal,
but most people are scared to death the whole way down.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The Lord prefers common-looking people.
That is why he makes so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln
One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends
is that three out of four murders
are committed by people who know the victim.
- George Carlin
I wanted to see exotic Vietnam, the jewel of Southeast Asia.
I, uh, I wanted to meet interesting
and stimulating people of an ancient culture,
and kill them.
- the movie Full Metal Jacket
In critical moments men sometimes see
exactly what they wish to see.
- the character Spock of the television series Star Trek
We make our friends; we make our enemies;
but God makes our next-door neighbor.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton
The more you explain it, the more I don't understand it.
- Mark Twain
Half the world is composed of idiots,
the other half, of people clever enough
to take indecent advantage of them.
- Walter Kerr
Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.
- Albert Einstein
Half the people you know are below average.
- Anonymous
Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others whenever they go.
- Oscar Wilde
Nothing so needs reforming as other people's habits.
- Mark Twain
Too bad all the people who know how to run this country
are busy running taxicabs or cutting hair.
- George Burns
When two people decide to get a divorce,
it isn't a sign that they "don't understand" one another,
but a sign that they have, at last, begun to.
- Helen Rowland
Will the people in the cheaper seats clap your hands?
And the rest of you, if you'll just rattle your jewelry.
- John Lennon
I think you're the opposite of a paranoid.
I think you go around with the insane delusion that people like you.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
The most important service rendered
by the press and the magazines
is that of educating people
to approach printed matter with distrust.
- Samuel Butler
Always do the right thing.
It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
- Mark Twain
Interesting.
You Earth people glorify organized violence for 40 centuries,
but you imprison those who employ it privately.
- the character Spock in the television series Star Trek
When dealing with people, remember you are
not dealing with creatures of logic,
but creatures of emotion.
- Dale Carnegie
People who want to share their religious views with you
almost never want you to share yours with them.
- Dave Barry
All people know the same truth.
Our lives consist of how we chose to distort it.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
Contrary to general belief,
I do not believe that friends are necessarily
the people you like best,
they are merely the people who got there first.
- Peter Ustinov
People who say it cannot be done should not
interrupt those who are doing it.
- George Bernard Shaw
The trouble with the world is not
that people know too little,
but that they know so many things that ain't so.
- Mark Twain
Do something wonderful, people may imitate it.
- Albert Schweitzer
People say conversation is a lost art;
how often I have wished it were.
- Edward R. Murrow
Most people with low self-esteem have earned it.
- George Carlin
To go against the dominant thinking of your friends,
of most of the people you see every day,
is perhaps the most difficult act of heroism you can perform.
- Theodore H. White
I was wise enough to never grow up
while fooling most people into believing I had.
- Margaret Mead
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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.