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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Speak Quotes
Funny Quotes about Speak

Let these funny Speak Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Speak when you are angry -
and you will make the best speech you'll ever regret.
- Laurence J. Peter

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak;
courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
- Winston Churchill

It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool,
than to speak and remove all doubt.
- sometimes attributed to Mark Twain, Abraham Lincoln, or Samuel Johnson


 

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

Always speak the truth,
think before you speak,
and write it down afterwards.
- Lewis Carroll

Trees are the earth's endless effort
to speak to the listening heaven.
- Rabindranath Tagore


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Some years ago I became president of Columbia University
and learned within 24 hours to be ready
to speak at the drop of a hat,
and I learned something more, the trustees were expected
to be ready to speak at the passing of the hat.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

See no evil, Hear no evil, Speak no evil.
- Japanese pictorial maxim (the Three Wise Monkeys)

As I have discovered by examining my past,
I started out as a child.
Coincidentally, so did my brother.
My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket,
so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell,
who taught me what was meant by "survival of the fittest."
- Bill Cosby

Do not save your loving speeches
For your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones,
Speak them rather now instead.
- Anna Cummins

One can never speak enough of the virtues,
the dangers, the power of shared laughter.
- Francoise Sagan

However many holy words you read, however many you speak,
what good will they do you if you do not act on upon them?
- The Buddha

Architecture is a visual art, and the buildings speak for themselves.
- Julia Morgan

The Internet is not just one thing, it's a collection of things -
of numerous communications networks that all speak
the same digital language.
- Jim Clark

The only thing that I'd rather own than Windows is English,
because then I could charge you two hundred and forty-nine
dollars for the right to speak it.
- Scott McNealy

It takes two to speak the truth:
one to speak, and another to hear.
- Henry David Thoreau

He who knows, does not speak.
He who speaks, does not know.
- Lao Tzu

My buildings don't speak in words but by means of their own spaciousness.
- Thom Mayne

My buildings will be my legacy...
they will speak for me long after I'm gone.
- Julia Morgan

If the laws could speak for themselves,
they would complain of the lawyers in the first place.
- Lord Halifax

Tradition demands that we not speak poorly of the dead.
- Daniel Barenboim

If you can speak what you will never hear,
if you can write what you will never read,
you have done rare things.
- Henry David Thoreau

The 1st Amendment protects the right to speak,
not the right to spend.
- Byron White

When deeds speak, words are nothing.
- Pierre-Joseph Proudhon

What we speak becomes the house we live in.
- Hafiz

Treat a work of art like a prince.
Let it speak to you first.
- Arthur Schopenhauer

Actions speak louder than words.
- Proverb

When people speak to you about a preventive war,
you tell them to go fight it.
After my experience, I have come to hate war.
War settles nothing.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

We will not be driven by fear into an age of unreason
if we dig deep in our history and remember
that we are not descended from fearful men,
not from men who feared to write, to speak,
to associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
- Edward R. Murrow

Keep silence for the most part,
and speak only when you must,
and then briefly.
- Epictetus

Reading about nature is fine, but if a person
walks in the woods and listens carefully,
he can learn more than what is in books,
for they speak with the voice of God.
- George Washington Carver

There is a sacredness in tears.
They are not the mark of weakness, but of power.
They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues.
They are messengers of overwhelming grief ...
and unspeakable love.
- Washington Irving

Every thought you think
and every word you speak
is affirming something.
- Louise L. Hay

It is a mistake for a sculptor or a painter to speak
or write very often about his job.
It releases tension needed for his work.
- Henry Moore

It is the province of knowledge to speak,
and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.

Character is always known.
Thefts never enrich;
alms never impoverish;
murder will speak out of stone walls.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I know many writers who first dictate passages,
then polish what they have dictated.
I speak, then I polish - occasionally I do windows.
- Edward Koch

We have two ears and one mouth so that
we can listen twice as much as we speak.
- Epictetus

When angry, count to ten before you speak.
If very angry, count to one hundred.
- Thomas Jefferson

Architecture should speak of its time and place,
but yearn for timelessness.
- Frank Gehry

First learn the meaning of what you say, and then speak.
- Epictetus

The human brain starts working the moment you are born
and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.
- George Jessel

Kind words can be short and easy to speak,
but their echoes are truly endless.
- Mother Teresa

We are formed and molded by our thoughts.
Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts
give joy when they speak or act.
Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.
- The Buddha

I feel impelled to speak today in a language
that in a sense is new-one which I,
who have spent so much of my life in the military profession,
would have preferred never to use.
That new language is the language of atomic warfare.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

Ask why this task is on your to-do list.
Consider discarding those items to which
you are not truly committed.
For the tasks which do speak
to the longings of your own heart,
begin now, today, this moment.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We will not walk in fear, one of another.
We are not descended from fearful men,
Not from men who feared to write, to speak,
To associate and to defend causes
which were for the moment unpopular.
This is no time... to keep silent.
- Edward R. Murrow

Be Impeccable With Your Word.
Speak with integrity.
Say only what you mean.
Avoid using your word to speak against yourself
or to gossip about others.
Use the power of your word
in the direction of truth and love.
- don Miguel Ruiz

A man cannot speak to his son, but as a father;
to his wife, but as a husband;
to his enemy, but upon terms:
whereas a friend may speak, as the case requires,
and not as it sorteth with the person.
- Francis Bacon

I confess that there is nothing to teach:
no religion, no science, no writings
which will lead your mind back to Spirit.
Today I speak this way, tomorrow that,
but always the Path is beyond words and beyond mind.
- Lao Tzu
(paraphrase)

What I was proud of was that I used very few parts
to build a computer that could actually speak words
on a screen and type words on a keyboard and run a
programming language that could play games.
And I did all this myself.
- Steve Wozniak

Liar is a strong word, but we are all liars.
Not in the sense of intentionally speaking untruths,
but in the sense of carrying so much historical
and emotional baggage that none of us is believable.
To lie means to speak an untruth,
and virtually everything that comes out of our mouth
is an untruth - an opinion, an assumption,
a point-of-view based on our past.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Christian voters should start looking
at global warming and extreme poverty
as religious issues that speak to the culture of life.
- Al Franken

Since we have to speak well of the dead,
let's knock them while they're alive.
- John French Sloan

Gray hairs are signs of wisdom if you hold your tongue,
speak and they are but hairs, as in the young.
- Rabindranath Tagore

The hardest of all the arts to speak of is music,
because music has no meaning to speak of.
- Ned Rorem

I try to speak in everyday language.
I feel like God has gifted me to take Bible principles and make them practical.
- Joel Osteen

I want to speak, to sing to total strangers.
It's my way of talking to the world.
- Adrian Mitchell

Backbite.
To speak of a man as you find him when he can't find you.
- Ambrose Bierce

I want to go to college to study journalism.
I want to speak French fluently, to travel.
My mom was a journalist and it's in my blood.
- Mandy Moore

Whoever loves becomes humble.
Those who love have, so to speak, pawned a part of their narcissism.
- Sigmund Freud

Management must speak with one voice.
When it doesn't management itself becomes a peripheral
opponent to the team's mission.
- Pat Riley

It probably helps that my background is in the sciences
and I can speak the scientists' language.
- David Chalmers

I think I can speak for every Senator,
saying that he or she ran for the Senate because we
want to help make this a better place;
that is,
we want to help our States and help America.
- Max Baucus

Those who speak ill of the spiritual life,
although they come and go by day, are like the smith's bellows:
they take breath but are not alive.
- William Hazlitt

My songs are self-explanatory...
somebody pointed out to me that...
my songs pretty much speak for themselves.
- Christine McVie

Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me.
- Martin Niemoller

We need a reason to speak but none to keep silent.
- Pierre Nicole

It is only of life on Earth, however,
that one can speak with any certainty.
It seems to me that all life on Earth,
the sum total of life upon the Earth,
has purpose.
- Clifford D. Simak

I just let the character speak to me and things appear.
- Shirley Knight


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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