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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Anything Quotes
Funny Quotes about Anything

Let these funny Anything Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

Laugh when you can,
apologize when you should,
and let go of what you can't change.
Life's too short to be anything... but happy.
- Anonymous

Oh no, I can't do anything to the death.
Doctor's orders. You see, I have this ulcer condition,
and death is the worst thing for it.
- the movie Love and Death

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.
- Mark Twain


 

If you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- Somerset Maugham

Fear of death ... That's funny. I have that too.
My dog has it. It's very common with living creatures.
- the movie Anything Else (2003)

I am proud to be an American.
Because an American can eat anything on the face of
this earth as long as he has two pieces of bread.
- Bill Cosby


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If you ask me anything I don't know,
I'm not going to answer.
- Yogi Berra

Anyone who can worship a trinity
and insist that his religion is a monotheism
can believe anything.
- Robert A Heinlein

There's nothing wrong with being afraid.
We were meant to be afraid.
- the Woody Allen movie Anything Else

A person who never made a mistake
never tried anything new.
- Albert Einstein

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

If the Almighty were to rebuild the world and asked me for advice,
I would have English Channels round every country.
And the atmosphere would be such that
anything which attempted to fly would be set on fire.
- Winston Churchill

People are stupid;
given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything.
Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie
because they want to believe it's true,
or because they are afraid it might be true.
- Terry Goodkind

Don't Take Anything Personally.
Nothing others do is because of you.
- Miguel Angel Ruiz (don Miguel Ruiz)

The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it.
- Henry David Thoreau

"Rabbit's clever," said Pooh thoughtfully.
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit's clever."
"And he has Brain."
"Yes," said Piglet, "Rabbit has Brain."
There was a long silence.
"I suppose," said Pooh, "that that's why he never understands anything."
- A. A. Milne (Winnie-The-Pooh)

It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham

You can't do anything about the length of your life,
but you can do something about its width and depth.
- Evan Esar

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
Condemnation does not liberate, it oppresses.
- Carl Jung

Life is short,
Break the Rules.
Forgive quickly,
Kiss SLOWLY.
Love truly.
Laugh uncontrollably
And never regret
ANYTHING
That makes you smile
- Mark Twain

Saying goodbye doesn't mean anything.
It's the time we spent together that matters,
not how we left it.
- Trey Parker

Anything that costs you more hours of effort or worry
than it brings you hours of enjoyment
is a candidate for downsizing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you don't risk anything, you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

Self-pity is our worst enemy
and if we yield to it,
we can never do anything wise in this world.
- Helen Keller

Those who stand for nothing fall for anything.
- Alexander Hamilton

Anything I can not transform
into something marvelous, I let go.
- Anais Nin

Make sure you never, never argue at night.
You just lose a good night's sleep,
and you can't settle anything until morning anyway.
- Rose Kennedy

We cannot change anything until we accept it.
- Carl Jung

A competent and self-confident person is
incapable of jealousy in anything.
Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.
- Robert A. Heinlein

People will do anything, no matter how absurd,
to avoid facing their own souls.
- Carl Jung

The trouble is,
if you don't risk anything,
you risk even more.
- Erica Jong

No one is in control of your happiness but you;
therefore, you have the power to change anything
about yourself or your life that you want to change.
- Barbara De Angelis

I don't know anything about music.
In my line you don't have to.
- Elvis Presley

You can't make up anything anymore.
The world itself is a satire.
All you're doing is recording it.
- Art Buchwald

Never say or do anything you wouldn't want
to be the last thing you ever said or did.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

The fact is, that to do anything in the world worth doing,
we must not stand back shivering and thinking of the cold and danger,
but jump in and scramble through as well as we can.
- Robert Cushing

I do not hold fear about what is happening in the world.
I am responsible for how I conduct myself in the events of my days,
and endeavor to not dwell in fear about anything.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything beautiful,
for beauty is God's handwriting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Learn to do common things uncommonly well;
we must always keep in mind that anything
that helps fill the dinner pail is valuable.
- George Washington Carver

Friendship...
is not something you learn in school.
But if you haven't learned the meaning of friendship,
you really haven't learned anything.
- Muhammad Ali

I wasn't anything special as a father.
But I loved them and they knew it.
- Sammy Davis, Jr.

There are more love songs than anything else.
If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.
- Frank Zappa

My mom's a Catholic, and my dad's a Jew,
and they didn't want anything to do with anything.
- Isabelle Huppert

People who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.
- Thomas Sowell

You will never do anything in this world without courage.
It is the greatest quality of the mind next to honor.
- James Allen

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything.
And that is by making the other person want to do it.
- Dale Carnegie

If I had learned education I would not have had time to learn anything else.
- Cornelius Vanderbilt

People will buy anything that is 'one to a customer.'
- Sinclair Lewis

It's useless to hold a person to anything he says while he's in love,
drunk, or running for office.
- Shirley MacLaine

We never NEED anything; we never NEED to do something.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My wife and I have so much fun when we travel and find anything...
like stray cats and squirrels.
- Eric Roberts

Humor is something that thrives between man's aspirations and his limitations.
There is more logic in humor than in anything else.
Because, you see, humor is truth.
- Victor Borge

Don't interfere with anything in the Constitution.
That must be maintained, for it is
the only safeguard of our liberties.
- Abraham Lincoln

Use what language you will,
you can never say anything but what you are.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some people will never learn anything,
for this reason, because they understand everything too soon.
- Alexander Pope

If patience is worth anything,
it must endure to the end of time.
And a living faith will last
in the midst of the blackest storm.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

I come from that society and there is a common thread,
specifically family values - the idea that you do anything for your family,
and the unconditional love for one's children.
- Ednita Nazario

Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else,
and we strive to swim on top.
- Joan Rivers

The snow goose need not bathe to make itself white.
Neither need you do anything but be yourself.
- Lao Tzu

Never do anything when you are in a temper,
for you will do everything wrong.
- Baltasar Gracian

Is freedom anything else than the right
to live as we wish? Nothing else.
- Epictetus

Never do anything against conscience
even if the state demands it.
- Albert Einstein

Do not wish to be anything but what you are,
and try to be that perfectly.
- St. Francis De Sales

I don't feel old.
I don't feel anything till noon.
That's when it's time for my nap.
- Bob Hope

Artists who seek perfection in everything are those
who cannot attain it in anything.
- Gustave Flaubert

I am certainly not one of those who need to be prodded.
In fact, if anything, I am the prod.
- Winston Churchill

If you love it enough, anything will talk with you.
- George Washington Carver

The way to love anything is to realize that it may be lost.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

A poet is, before anything else, a person who is passionately in love with language.
- W. H. Auden


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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