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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Give Quotes
Funny Quotes about Give

Let these funny Give Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous


 

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Poets have said that the reason to have children is
to give yourself immortality.
Immortality? Now that I have five children,
my only hope is that they are all out of the house before I die.
- Bill Cosby

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

If you have zest and enthusiasm y
ou attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My health may be better preserved if I exert myself less,
but in the end doesn't each person give his life for his calling?
- Clara Schumann

The main purpose of life is to live rightly, think rightly, act rightly.
The soul must languish when we give all our thought to the body.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Never give up.
- Anonymous

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon

I try to give people a different way of looking at their surroundings.
That's art to me.
- Maya Lin

Give light and people will find the way.
- Ella Baker

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith

Never give in - never, never, never, never.
- Winston Churchill

For every minute you remain angry,
you give up sixty seconds of peace of mind.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

God gave us the gift of life; it is up to us to give
ourselves the gift of living well.
- Voltaire

I live with enthusiasm, and give thanks for my life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You need to make a commitment,
and once you make it,
then life will give you some answers.
- Les Brown

I liken myself to Henry Ford and the auto industry,
I give you 90 percent of what most people need.
- Adam Osborne

Sacrifice everything, and give up nothing.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Russians can give you arms but only the United States can give you a solution.
- Anwar Sadat

Our world is magnificent - all of it.
Rejoice and give thanks.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give me odorous at sunrise a garden of beautiful flowers
where I can walk undisturbed.
- Walt Whitman

Take young researchers, put them together in virtual seclusion,
give them an unprecedented degree of freedom and turn
up the pressure by fostering competitiveness.
- James D. Watson

Today... Give thanks for the miracles -
Give thanks for the love.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

An educated man is thoroughly inoculated against humbug,
thinks for himself and tries to give his thoughts,
in speech or on paper, some style.
- Alan K. Simpson

Lend yourself to others, but give yourself to yourself.
- Michel de Montaigne

We are formed and molded by our thoughts.
Those whose minds are shaped by selfless thoughts
give joy when they speak or act.
Joy follows them like a shadow that never leaves them.
- The Buddha

Time extracts various values from a painter's work.
When these values are exhausted the pictures are forgotten,
and the more a picture has to give, the greater it is.
- Henri Matisse

To give aid to every poor man is far beyond the reach and power of every man.
Care of the poor is incumbent on society as a whole.
- Charles Edwards


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- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.