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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Give Quotes
Funny Quotes about Give

Let these funny Give Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You are Never Too Old to Give or Get Gold Stars.
Show Your Honest Appreciation - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give a man one rabbit, and he will eat for a day;
give a man two rabbits, and he will
feed his family and his neighbors
and return you 64,768 rabbits in change.
- Anonymous

You'll live to be a hundred if you give up
all the things that make you want to.
- the movie Interiors

Oh, if only God would give me some sign.
If He would just speak to me once. Anything.
One sentence. Two words. If He would just cough.
- the movie Love and Death


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If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

Oh, you weak, beautiful people
who give up with such grace.
What you need is someone to take hold of you -
gently, with love, and hand your life back to you.
- Tennessee Williams

Never give a sword to a man who can't dance.
- Confucius


 

He who can take advice is sometimes superior
to him who can give it.
- Erica Jong

Give the right man two fishes and some bread,
and he will feed the world;
give the wrong man two fishes and some bread
and he will invent the fast-food fish sandwich.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes.
- Oscar Wilde

I know that God made the whole world in 4004 BC.
I know because my preacher told me. He's a good man.
He's even saving up all the money we give him
to go to bible college someday.
- Anonymous Humor

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Every spirit makes its house,
and we can give a shrewd guess
from the house to the inhabitant.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

All gods are homemade, and it is we who pull their strings,
and so, give them the power to pull ours.
- Aldous Huxley

Give me the luxuries of life
and I will willingly do without the necessities.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Is today a day to gather strength from the storm -
a day to to learn life lessons for the next battle?
Or is today a day to sit by the fire
and watch the storm rage outside?
Either way, the storm is just life.
Give thanks for all of Life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

It is a good thing for an uneducated man to read books of quotations...
The quotations, when engraved upon the memory, give you good thoughts.
They also make you anxious to read the authors and look for more.
- Winston Churchill

I give thanks for both my bloom and my thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Nearly all men can stand adversity,
but if you want to test a man's character, give him power.
- Abraham Lincoln

Give Honest and Sincere Appreciation.
- Dale Carnegie

One can not reflect in streaming water.
Only those who know internal peace can give it to others.
- Lao Tzu

Time, like life itself, has no inherent meaning.
We give our own meaning to time as to life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give thanks for the rain in your life
which waters the flowers of your soul.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Man is least himself when he talks in his own person.
Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.
- Oscar Wilde

Give me your tired, your poor,
your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.
- written on the Statue of Liberty in New York harbor

She drove me to drink.
That's the one thing I'm indebted to her for.
- the movie Never Give a Sucker an Even Break

If self-validation were our
most significant societal measure -
we would give trophies to ourselves.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

If you have zest and enthusiasm
you attract zest and enthusiasm.
Life does give back in kind.
- Norman Vincent Peale

I Am One With Spirit and All Creation -
I give thanks for the unity of all creation
and for everything that has brought me to this moment.
I release my entire being to the gentle nurture of Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We all have our thorns. We, and Life, have our moments.
Life occurs before our morning coffee.
Life occurs in our bathrobe with our hair uncombed.
Bless and give thanks for All of Life - the bloom and the thorns.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give somebody a gold star - Today.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I Receive ALL of Life with Thanksgiving -
I have gratitude for EVERYTHING
that has ever occurred to bring me to this moment.
I give thanks for the joys and the sufferings,
the moments of peace and the flashes of anger,
the compassion and the indifference,
the roar of my courage and the cold sweat of my fear.
I accept gratefully the entirety of my past and my present life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Give a boy address and accomplishments
and you give him the mastery
of palaces and fortunes where he goes.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

To give up yourself without regret is the greatest charity.
- Bodhidharma

It is neither wealth nor splendor;
but tranquility and occupation which give you happiness.
- Thomas Jefferson

Give thanks for the rainbows, for the butterflies,
for all God's creatures - large and small,
for the bright blue sky and the soft fog and the gentle rain,
for the tree veiled in the season's first frost,
for the baby's laugh, for the touch of a hand
and the whispered "I love you."
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you run into a wall, don't turn around and give up.
Figure out how to climb it, go through it, or work around it.
- Michael Jordan

Never say goodbye when you still want to try,
never give up when you still feel you can't take it.
Never say you don't love the person anymore
when you can't let go.
- Anonymous

I won't give up 'til goats sing and walruses fly.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A new command I give you: Love one another.
As I have loved you, so you must love one another.
- Jesus of Nazareth (John 13:34)

Our opportunity is to Soar our Spirit.
To see Light and Joy in everything.
To spread our wings and fly boldly.
To give thanks for rainbows and butterflies -
our symbols of renewal and rebirth.
To offer daily Thanksgiving - for ourselves, our family,
our friends, our community, for the whole world.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

You have to accept whatever comes
and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage
and with the best that you have to give.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the great.
- John D. Rockefeller

Don't give energy to perceived dislikes.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Don't ever give up.
- Anonymous

Don't give up. There are too many nay-sayers out there
who will try to discourage you.
Don't listen to them.
The only one who can make you give up is yourself.
- Sidney Sheldon

When all you know is bombs,
everything looks like a target.
Give peace and diplomacy a chance.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

During life, none of us is 100% open to Spirit -
we have too much ego to do that.
Only at death do we give up our ego and completely open to Spirit.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Love wasn't put in your heart to stay.
Love isn't love until you give it away.
- Michael W. Smith

From what we get, we can make a living:
what we give, however makes a life.
- Arthur Ashe

You give but little when you give of your possessions.
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give.
- Khalil Gibran

Give yourself the gift of forgiving
everyone you are angry with -
for every action you resent.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We are not to give credit to the many,
who say that none ought to be educated but the free;
but rather to the philosophers,
who say that the well-educated alone are free.
- Epictetus

No one can give you better advice than yourself.
- Cicero

A man is relieved and gay when he has
put his heart into his work and done his best;
but what he has said or done otherwise
shall give him no peace.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

The enlightened give thanks
for what most people take for granted.
- Michael Beckwith

Every day I give thanks that I am me,
and that everything that has ever occurred in my life
happened exactly as it did -
however unpleasant it may have appeared at the time.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Maintain a balance between skepticism and faith.
Maintain a beginner mind. Be open to possibility.
Don't give in to skepticism,
but don't give in to fantasy either.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

What I know for sure is that
what you give comes back to you.
- Oprah Winfrey

If there is anything that a man can do well,
I say let him do it. Give him a chance.
- Abraham Lincoln

Everybody needs beauty as well as bread,
places to play in and pray in,
where nature may heal and cheer
and give strength to the body and soul.
- John Muir

Know that the greatest gift you can give the world is your happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Only aim to do your duty,
and mankind will give you credit where you fail.
- Thomas Jefferson

The best way to keep your friends
is not to give them away.
- Wilson Mizner

To give victory to the right, not bloody bullets,
but peaceful ballots only, are necessary.
- Abraham Lincoln

A coach is someone who can give correction
without causing resentment.
- John Wooden

Give the world the best you have
and it may never be enough.
Give the world your best anyway.
- Mother Teresa

Never give in - never, never, never, never.
- Winston Churchill

Quotations help us remember the simple yet profound truths
that give life perspective and meaning.
- Criswell Freeman

Give me a place to stand and I will move the earth.
- Aristotle


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.