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Funny Quotes about Life
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Funny Record Quotes
Funny Quotes about Record

Let these funny Record Quotes from my large collection of funny quotes about life add a little humor to your day.

You ask me if I keep a notebook
to record my great ideas.
I've only ever had one.
- Albert Einstein

Never mind what others do;
do better than yourself,
beat your own record from day to day,
and you are a success.
- William J. H. Boetcker

The way to develop self-confidence
is to do the thing you fear
and get a record of successful experiences behind you.
- William Jennings Bryan

Anthropology demands the open-mindedness
with which one must look and listen,
record in astonishment
and wonder that which one would not have been able to guess.
- Margaret Mead


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History will have to record that the greatest tragedy
of this period of social transition
was not the strident clamor of the bad people,
but the appalling silence of the good people.
- Martin Luther King, Jr.

I believe that anyone can conquer fear
by doing the things he fears to do,
provided he keeps doing them until he gets
a record of successful experience behind him.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

No stream rises higher than its source.
Whatever man might build, could never
express or reflect more than he was.
He could record neither more nor less
than he had learned of life.
- Frank Lloyd Wright


 

Love is patient, love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud. It does not dishonor others,
It is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
- Corinthians 13:4-8 (NIV)

If you have never experienced the practice
of daily journaling, give it a try. I highly recommend it.
When I say "journaling," I am not referring to a diary
in which to record the events of your life,
I am talking about a place to record your feelings -
a friend with whom to share your troubles, fears, hopes, and dreams.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I've always had a love for poetry,
and when I got signed to a record label I thought,
"How odd that I'm doing a record before a book of poetry."
- Jewel

The "stories" we choose to tell about our past
are never what a video camera would have recorded.
We can tell a sad story or a happy story,
and neither story is either
more accurate or "better" than the other story.
The difference is that one story causes us to suffer,
while the other brings us joy. I choose joy.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Stories of imagination tend to upset those without one.
- Terry Pratchett

There are only two or three human stories,
and they go on repeating themselves as fiercely
as if they had never happened before.
- Willa Cather

The most erroneous stories are those
we think we know best -
and therefore never scrutinize or question.
- Stephen Jay Gould

The world just IS, and we all have our stories about it.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

I am merely a bit player in your stories,
as you are merely a bit player in mine.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Our stories are the window to our emotions.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

We tell the real truth of our life
by the stories we repeatedly tell.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I forgive myself completely for having created stories of suffering.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you follow the trail of your own
enthusiastically repeated stories,
you will begin to rediscover the things
that invigorate and enliven you.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

I forgive myself completely
for having created stories of suffering.
I forgive myself for all
my angers, resentments, jealousies,
and all the other emotions of suffering.
I have unbounded compassion for myself
at all times and under all circumstances.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

If you have an emotional reaction in the presence of someone,
your heart is telling you that you have
not resolved your issues with them.
In other words, you have not truly forgiven that person.
All of this begs the question, how do we forgive?
First, cease lying to yourself and stop telling yourself stories
about why you behave the way you do.
Stop blaming your behavior on other people
and take responsibility for your emotional reactions.
If you could forgive all the people in your life
who have hurt or wounded you
it would be possible to be in control of your behavior
instead of being in reaction to other people all of the time.
Imagine living life without experiencing
a constant emotional roller-coaster of pain, anger, and jealousy!
That would be bliss!
- Sheri Rosenthal

I confessed recently to an old friend,
"I realized I was looking at you,
in your visit, through old glasses.
Speaking old words.
Telling old stories.
I realize that in my life I've made so many
physical changes and I need to give my spirit time to catch up."
Time for my spirit to look at my friend
through the new glasses of current life experiences.
Old friends are precious.
They become even more treasured when they are wrapped
in the currentness of life experiences
and not relegated to the past in which they once lived.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
- Samuel Johnson [also attributed to Oscar Wilde]

Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
- H. L. Mencken

Reality leaves a lot to the imagination.
- John Lennon

Happiness is a figment of the imagination.
Imagine happiness.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Without this playing with fantasy,
no creative work has ever yet come to birth.
The debt we owe to the play of
the imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

The power of imagination makes us infinite.
- John Muir

Generally speaking, a howling wilderness does not howl:
it is the imagination of the traveler that does the howling.
- Henry David Thoreau

The moment a person forms a theory,
his imagination sees in every object
only the traits which favor that theory.
- Thomas Jefferson

When I examine myself and my methods of thought,
I come to the conclusion that the gift of fantasy
has meant more to me than
any talent for absorbing positive knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

This world is but a canvas to our imagination.
- Henry David Thoreau

Imagination decides everything.
- Blaise Pascal

Logic will get you from A to B.
Imagination will take you everywhere.
- Albert Einstein

Doubt and mistrust are the mere panic of timid imagination,
which the steadfast heart will conquer,
and the large mind will transcend.
- Helen Keller

The debt we owe to the play of imagination is incalculable.
- Carl Jung

An idea is salvation by imagination.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

I have ready access to a power beyond my wildest imagination.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
- Albert Einstein

The man who has no imagination has no wings.
- Muhammad Ali

Why does the eye see a thing more clearly in dreams
than the imagination when awake?
- Leonardo da Vinci

Live out of your imagination, not your history.
- Stephen Covey

There are many ways to be free. One of them is to transcend
reality by imagination, as I try to do.
- Anais Nin

To raise new questions, new possibilities,
to regard old problems from a new angle,
requires creative imagination and marks real advance in science.
- Albert Einstein

Nothing is more dangerous to tradition
than the creative imagination of youth.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

All the works of man have their origin in creative fantasy.
What right have we then to depreciate imagination.
- Carl Jung

Imagination is everything.
It is the preview of life's coming attractions.
- Albert Einstein

Science does not know its debt to imagination.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is usually the imagination that is wounded first,
rather than the heart; it being much more sensitive.
- Henry David Thoreau

It is above all by the imagination
that we achieve perception and compassion and hope.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool;
it gives me all the world and exiles me from it.
- Ursula K. Le Guin

The true sign of intelligence
is not knowledge but imagination.
- Albert Einstein

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
Knowledge is limited.
Imagination encircles the world.
- Albert Einstein

Formulate and stamp indelibly on your mind
a mental picture of yourself as succeeding.
Hold this picture tenaciously. Never permit it to fade.
Your mind will seek to develop the picture...
Do not build up obstacles in your imagination.
- Norman Vincent Peale

Every human has four endowments- self awareness, conscience,
independent will and creative imagination.
These give us the ultimate human freedom...
The power to choose, to respond, to change.
- Stephen Covey

Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand,
while imagination embraces the entire world,
and all there ever will be to know and understand.
- Albert Einstein

I believe in intuition and inspiration.
Imagination is more important than knowledge.
For knowledge is limited,
whereas imagination embraces the entire world,
stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution.
It is, strictly speaking, a real factor in scientific research.
- Albert Einstein

This physical world is to our imagination as ice is to water -
pure water forms pure ice - dirty water forms dirty ice.
Consider how much easier it is to purify water before it freezes
than it is to chip the impurities from the solid ice.
So also, it is much easier to purify your thoughts
before they manifest into physical reality,
than to try to cut the cancerous impurities from solid reality
after you have manifested your thoughts into physical form.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

One cannot have wisdom without perspective,
but once gaining perspective, one attains wisdom.
Wisdom is the ability to view every situation
as each person who is in any way affected
by that situation might view it.
Wisdom benefits from having a knowledge of history,
and therefore a historical perspective,
as well from as having the perspective of imagination -
the realm of the what-might-be
inhabited by futurists and science-fiction writers.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand

I love being married.
It's so great to find that one special person
you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- Rita Rudner

Marriage is a fine institution -
but I'm not ready for an institution yet.
- Mae West

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
- Henny Youngman

Marriage has no guarantees.
If that's what you're looking for,
go live with a car battery.
- Erma Bombeck

The four most important words in any marriage...
"I'll do the dishes."
- Anonymous

Marriage is a wonderful institution,
but who would want to live in an institution?
- H. L. Mencken

A man's friendships are, like his will,
invalidated by marriage -
but they are also no less invalidated
by the marriage of his friends.
- Samuel Butler

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.
- Anonymous

The Wedding March always reminds me of the music
played when soldiers go into battle.
- Heinrich Heine

He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of.
- Mae West


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May the world be kind to you,
and may your own thoughts be gentle upon yourself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie


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